Stars Are Blind
by belladonna78
Summary: When joining Starfleet, Anaya Lee and Leonard 'Bones' McCoy had an undeniable attraction. When Earth is threatened, the pair find themselves going to extraordinary measures to save a planet they'd both forsaken. This is their story. McCoy/OC. Follows the 2009 movie. Rating will probably change. R&R.
1. Chapter 1 - Shoot for the Stars

AN: I watched this movie again last night and got a bee on my bonnet. This was the result. I will update as inspired. Follows the 2009 Star Trek movie, with a few amendments, from both McCoy and Anaya's POV. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

 **SHOOT FOR THE STARS**

* * *

 _Koi No Yokan (Japanese): The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall into love._

* * *

Cadet Anaya Lee adjusted her uniform and shifted nervously from foot to foot as the new recruits started to enter the shuttle. _Shoot for the stars._ She thought she might be sick with excitement, wished she had gone to the bathroom before they started to board. As she stepped up into the dark, monochrome interior of the shuttle that would transport them to the Academy, she turned left, looking for relief.

The door to the bathroom was locked when she reached it. With a sigh, Anaya stepped aside, leaned against the wall and waited. Several cadets pushed past her in the tight confines of the ship, and she blew out a frustrated breath, knocked on the door to the lavatory.

"Hey, what's taking so long?"

"Quit botherin' a man when he's doin' his business!" The reply was short, and Anaya bristled under the dismissal.

"Ma'am," the soft voice of the Academy Officer filtered through Anaya's thoughts, she looked up to see dark eyes peering at her. "You're going to have to take a seat, cadet. We're preparing for take off."

"But I…" Anaya gestured to the locked door, and shifted to her left foot, sighed.

"We'll be at the Academy shortly," the officer said kindly, and she nodded. Anaya supposed that discomfort would be something she'd have to get used to from this point forward. She steeled herself, stubbornly telling her body to _suck it up_ and walked down the short aisle to where there were a couple of free seats. Another cadet glanced up at her in disinterest, but Anaya noted the way he looked sideways at her when she took the seat two down from him.

She casually spied on the cadet from the corner of her eye, noting the wide shoulders, self-assured manner in which he sat, his keen observation of everyone around him. His face showed signs of having been involved in a struggle, and she wondered if that air of superiority lent itself to conflict on a regular basis. She'd seen it before, with her brother, a rising star within the Federation Council. Their father was so proud, and nothing she'd done had compared, even when she outshone her brother at every turn. When Jeremy had chosen a lesser candidate to head up his security council over her, stating he didn't want to appear to show favouritism, Anaya had concluded that the planet simply wasn't big enough for the two of them. She enlisted in Starfleet a week later.

"Sir, you need a doctor," the words were rushed, and a scuffle sounded from the direction she'd come from. Anaya looked up to see the same Officer from earlier escorting a very flustered, and angry looking cadet from the direction she had come. She recognised the southern accent from the bathroom, almost immediately a smile pricked at the corners of her mouth.

"Look, I told you, I don't need a doctor, dammit, I am a doctor," the man said, he wrenched his arm away from the officer and straightened his shoulders.

"You need to get back to your seat," she insisted.

"I had one, the bathroom…" The two spoke at once: the officer telling the cadet to sit down, ushering him to the free chair beside Anaya, while the blustery _doctor_ continued his rant. "...with no windows…"

"Now!" Ordered the officer. Anaya watched the face of the overly anxious recruit and frowned. His dark eyes flashed with fire, the set of his mouth determined, he caught her gaze, held it for a few seconds before he turned back to the Officer who was a good head shorter than him, but holding her own.

"I suffer from aviophobia. It means fear of dying in something that flies." She didn't give an inch.

"Sir, for your own safety, sit down. Or else I'll make you sit down." The terse voice was another order. Anaya watched as he shared an unspoken communication with the officer, nodded in resignation and the flopped into the seat next to her.

"Thank you," said the officer, the cadet barely acknowledged her, ran a hand across his face as she turned on her heel and walked away. Beside her, the doctor started to strap himself into the seat, caught her watching him.

" _This is Captain Pike, we've been cleared for take off."_ The Captain's voice echoed through the shuttle as brown eyes met hers.

"I may throw up on you," he warned, leaning in to her slightly. She could almost feel the fear rippling off him in waves.

"I think these things are pretty safe," said the cadet on the other side of him. The doctor turned and scowled.

"Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. A solar flare might pop up, cook us in our seats. And wait til you're sitting pretty with a case of Andorian shingles. See if you're still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger, wrapped up in darkness and silence." Anaya marvelled at the words that flowed from him, wondered why on Earth he had signed up for this if he was so afraid to take his feet off the ground. She opened her mouth, put all the sarcasm she could muster into her next sentence.

"Well I hate to break this to you, sunshine, but Starfleet operates in Space."

The doctor paused, Anaya noted the amused expression on their companion's face as the frightened cadet turned his attention back to her. "Yeah well, I got nowhere else to go," came the reply as he reached into his pocket, pulled out a small silver flask. His voice sounded like honey, smooth and sweet, and then there was the eyes. She could get lost in them. Anaya shook her head, chastised herself internally as he held the flask between nimble fingers. "The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones." She smirked as he took a swig from the flask, offered it to her. Anaya shook her head, eyes dropped to his lips as he shrugged and turned to the man on the other side of him. This time his offer was accepted, and their companion nodded first at Anaya, and then the doctor.

"Jim Kirk," he said, holding the flask in an introductory gesture.

"McCoy," said the man beside her. "Leonard McCoy." He turned back to the cadet beside him, looking inquisitive, eyes studying her face in such a way that Anaya felt like he was reading her soul. "And you are?" She pushed her attraction to this stranger behind a mask, and tilted her head to the side.

"Lee," she replied.

"Just Lee?"

"That'll do, sunshine," she said with a smile. She couldn't give in to it that easily. She knew how it went, the ease with which young cadets could fall into the excitement of their upcoming adventures. The adrenaline, combined with fear, was a powerful recipe for an attraction that would otherwise have gone unawakened.

The corners of McCoy's mouth upturned and his eyes softened slightly as he silently acknowledged the challenge. "Oh this is gonna be one of those things now, ain't it? You're gonna label me with a nickname based on one event where I am _perfectly justified_ in my reasoning about how we're all going to meet our demise?"

Anaya grinned, and quoted one of her favourite lines. "No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit." It had always inspired her to be optimistic in the face of failure, to push for her dreams. It lifted her spirits when she was feeling down.

McCoy's face turned from slight irritation to intrigue. "Helen Keller, I'm impressed," he said. "Well, two can play at that game. 'Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet.' Jeremy Bentham," he finished with a wave of his hand over his boots, a sparkle in his eyes, directly challenging her. Anaya thought for a moment, eyes locked with McCoy's as the engines of the shuttle powered up, revealed a hint of fear to her.

"'No one regards what is before his feet; we all gaze at the stars.' Quintus Ennius," she countered, sought to distract him from the takeoff. There was a clunking as the landing gears disengaged, and then they started to lift. McCoy grabbed her hand, squeezed it tightly in his own. He fought to push the irrational fear behind those dark eyes, his hand the only give away that anything was wrong: she squeezed back and his eyes softened in silent gratitude.

"'Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground'," he said softly. Anaya raised her eyebrow, recognised the source.

"Theodore Roosevelt. Good one," she said. But she could do better. "'Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.' Casey Kasem."

The ship had started to move, but to Leonard McCoy, he barely even noticed anymore as he stared into deep blue eyes. He sifted through his years of English literature classes, to come up with a witty reply to the casual banter he'd unexpectedly encountered. His fingers held firm to the soft hand in his own, and he found himself wish for a longer shuttle ride to the Academy.

"'And he that strives to touch the stars, oft stumbles at a straw.'" That one had been Edmund Spenser, he wondered if she knew it. Lee smiled at him and Leonard felt his heart skip a beat. He frowned slightly at the reaction.

"'Sometimes we fall, sometimes we stumble, but we can't stay down," Lee replied. "'We can't allow life to beat us down. Everything happens for a reason, and it builds character in us, and it tells us what we are about and how strong we really are when we didn't think we could be that strong.'" Leonard had never heard the quote, wondered if it was hers or belonged to another.

He already liked this cadet, found himself quickly attracted to her smart replies that matched his own. _Well that's inconvenient,_ he thought, his mind fell to darker things, like Jocelyn and his daughter whom he hadn't seen in three months. Lee seemed to notice the change in his mood, and he watched her pull behind a friendly, but distant mask. The captain announced that they were docking over the PA system, and he held his breath at the repeat clunking of the landing gear meeting with the hangar.

"Well, I got no idea who that is, but one thing's for sure. You're stronger than you look…" Leonard squeezed her hand and then released it, letting out the breath he'd been holding.

"So are you, sunshine," Lee's voice was tinged with admiration. He wondered if he'd handled his fears well enough in those moments to not appear weak. As soon as the disembark order was given, Lee was on her feet, moved with the other cadets toward the exit. He was disappointed to see her so eager to go.

"Hey Lee, that's it? You quote poetry at me and then walk away?" McCoy's voice flowed over Anaya, slightly amused, a little disappointed. She grinned to herself, set her face to casually entertained and turned to face him. Anaya stepped aside, allowed people to file past her as she gripped the back of a seat. McCoy stepped into her personal space, looked down as she smirked.

"A flower cannot blossom without sunshine…" she said, her voice faltering. It was the beginning of a quote, but Anaya doubted he would know it. McCoy blinked, thought about his reply, and almost apologetically said, "If you want to see the sunshine, you have to weather the storm."

He was definitely a stormy one, this she could see. Emotion swirled in the depths of those eyes, barely contained, and he didn't make an effort to hide it. _Too soon. Too much at stake._ Anaya liked what she had seen, their little banter session had told her a lot about how well read he was, and she couldn't deny the attraction that was already building between them. But he was hurting, that was obvious. She had little doubt in her mind that he'd joined Starfleet to escape his past, his ex-wife and the pain that was floating below the surface. Anaya knew she was simply a distraction, and while she'd welcomed flirtation and fun in the past, she was in Starfleet now, and nothing was going to distract her from the future she wanted to build, from proving herself.

"We all have our storms to weather. It's nice to meet you, Leonard McCoy." Leonard saw how she pulled back inside of herself, realised he'd triggered something personal. As Lee turned and walked away, he realised he still didn't know her first name.

"Damn," he muttered, then came to realise he wasn't alone. Kirk stood beside him, and he'd clearly taken in the exchange with great interest.

"Weren't expecting that?" He asked as he tossed a lopsided grin at Leonard.

"No," the harried doctor confessed. "Not at all."

"Well Bones, don't think too hard about it, she's gonna be remembering that very unattractive clinging to her hand for years to come," Kirk said, and Leonard grimaced, first at the nickname - which he suspected was going to stick as well as _sunshine_ was - and secondly at the image of how tightly he'd squeezed Lee's hand, how she hadn't said a word, simply met him in that space and held it.

"Hey, it's a _legitimate_ phobia!" Leonard countered and Kirk chuckled, clapped him on the back with a friendly familiarity.

"Let's go, I need to find a bar. I could use another drink," he said.

"Now you're speaking my language," Leonard laughed. He fell into step behind the younger cadet, and thought about the flask inside his jacket, he suspected he might need to toss it away once they were fully into their training. Starfleet was indeed a space-driven adventure, and he would need to find alternatives to deal with his fears: a way that didn't affect his ability to function at the levels he needed to work. Leonard found his eyes seeking out Lee, recalled the touch of her hand.

The cadets had bottlenecked at the door, and for a split second light hit fiery locks, drew his attention as Lee exited the shuttle ahead of them. His breath caught. "Damn. She had to be a redhead too."

"Sounds like your recipe for suffering," Kirk commented, hearing the softly spoken words.

"They do have a way of finding me…"

Kirk stopped walking, turned to look him thoughtfully in the eyes. "Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." Leonard found himself with a new respect for the younger man, nodding his approval at the quote.

"Bob Marley. You know he also said: 'I don't know how to live good. I only know how to suffer.'" Kirk's mouth turned up at the side, and the medical side of Leonard started to mentally examine the cuts and bruises on his companion's face as, through a slightly swollen lip, Kirk replied, "Sounds like a man who was often in love."

Leonard paused, looked over at the shuttle exit where he'd last seen Lee, setting his resolve. _Damn._ He had to focus now, on his future, and the Academy. Jocelyn had gone to great lengths to point out how he was failing in life - his medical degree worthless if he did nothing with it, and he had a daughter to role model for. "Yeah well, I can't afford to lose that game again. I already lost the planet, I can't afford to lose the stars."


	2. Chapter 2 - Free Fall

1 YEAR LATER

* * *

 **FREE FALL**

* * *

 _Mamihlapinatapei (Yagan, an indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego): The wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start._

* * *

"Y'know I'm all for livin' a little dangerously, but a death wish I do not have," Leonard was adamant that he would not be strapping into the base jumping packs, and he watched helplessly as Anaya snapped on the harness and secured it across her chest.

"Come on Mac, you know you're going to have to take the test for this in a few months anyway, consider it practice," Anaya said. She took a hair tie, and pulled her long, red locks up into a ponytail before wrapping it around and in on itself, fastening it with a clip. Hair secure, she turned to look into the eyes of the worried doctor. "It'll be _fine,"_ she reassured him, turned to look at Jim as he pulled on a boot after changing.

"Yeah well, I don't like it," Leonard said, there was a sulking displeasure to his voice which matched the vulnerability in his eyes. Anaya flashed him a sympathetic look, but refused to budge on her decision. To her it was just another day at the office, her security job taking her through daily rigorous routines that would send Leonard's blood pressure through the roof if he knew the whole story. But he didn't, his time was spent in the medical bay, learning the complexities of medical care aboard a starship.

Leonard found himself strangely out of his league when it came to the risk taking that Anaya and Jim seemed to live for, yet they had proven to be fierce and loyal friends in the last twelve months, and where one was, the other two were never far away. This could especially be said about Anaya and Leonard. They'd danced around each other for months now, enjoying the witty banter and the quiet thrill that coursed through them when they were in each other's company. But stubbornly, the pair had kept everything at friendship level, building on their networks within Starfleet.

"We ready?" Jim asked, he looked over at Leonard and narrowed his eyes at the more cautious doctor. "I thought you were only afraid of flying?"

" _Dying_ while flying," Leonard corrected him. He moved to look down over the cliff they were currently standing on, the only thing any of them could see was a bank of clouds fifty metres below them. "This qualifies."

"You know there's a test for this?" Jim asked. Leonard turned to glare stonily at the carefree cadet. Jim returned the stare with a look of arrogance. He was right, and he knew it, Leonard didn't like it one little bit, had been trying to come up with a solution to get out of the physical test. He wasn't even sure _why_ a medical officer might need to be able to free fall to their death.

"I'm workin' on it. I think I might find myself coming down with a case of Andorian shingles," Leonard murmured, and then stepped back a few feet when he realised how close to the edge he was standing. Anaya patted him reassuringly on the arm, her face patient and non judgmental.

"We'll be fine," she said, leaning up to kiss his prickly cheek, enjoying the press of his skin to her lips. "That shave does not meet regs, by the way," she grinned before moving to the edge of the cliff, nodded to Jim who could barely contain his excitement.

"Yeah but you love it!" Leonard called out, earned himself a wink.

"Okay Bones, we'll see you at the bottom then," Jim said and Leonard scowled unhappily at them, a frown permanently etched into his brow.

"As your attending physician, I go on the record as saying this is completely unnecessary and risky," he called out as the two jumpers exchanged looks of glee.

"Noted!" Anaya said. She took a moment to blow him a kiss, and then high-fived Jim. They jumped, Jim with an exhilarated _whoop,_ Anaya with a short happy laugh.

They hit the cloud bank in seconds flat, blinded for a moment before coming out the other side and into the darkened crevice. "Whooooo!" Jim called out over the radio and she turned to look at him, expressed her approval with a thumbs up, as they barreled down the side of the sheer drop.

It was one of the longer jumps around, hundreds of people came to do it every year. The reviews Jim had tossed to his friends were that it was like finding god, floating down a tunnel of lush green walls, and landing in a mossy field near a beautiful pristine lake.

"Down the rabbit hole we go," Anaya breathed as they spiralled down and around, the wind ripping around their wingsuits.

"Let's go find the Mad Hatter," Jim replied, glanced at the altitude monitoring system attached to his wrist.

"1000 metres!" He called out and Anaya straightened out, pushing her trajectory toward the centre of the drop.

"Engaging wings," she reported. "700 metres." As the AMS hit the mark, she spread out the wings of her suit, felt the lift instantly as she slowed down and started to glide.

"500 metres!" Jim called out. She looked over at him, gliding 20 metres away from her with the biggest grin on his face. "This is awesome!"

"Mac, you should have come, this is amazing," Anaya breathed into the comm, taking in the sights around them as they circled down in a spiral. The varying shades of greens, mixed in with the blue of the lake below was breathtaking. Leonard was monitoring their descent from the transport, his keen mind on their heart rates as the AMS fed their physiological data back to the computer. "Look at how blue that lake is Jim."

"Probably full of blue-green algae," Leonard replied, "let's see how awestruck you are when you're stuck in the bathroom vomiting with diarrhea, your skin covered in puss-filled red rashes."

"And I was starting to think the sunshine had gone away," Anaya smirked.

"I'm a doctor, if you saw what I had to see on a daily basis…"

"Yeah, yeah, we'd be as old and cynical as you, Bones," Jim cut in, the humour in his voice.

"Well we can't all just rush into fights, guns blazin' … some of us…" Leonard's retort was cut short by Jim.

"Coming up to the pull out point, preparing to engage chute," he said, and Anaya nodded, although he hadn't looked at her. "Now!" Came his call and she pulled on the ripcord, waiting for the chute to catch. The material ejected from the pack and caught for a second, followed by a ripping noise as it tore from the suit. Anaya cursed, tumbled over herself and felt the breath catch in her throat.

"Lee!" Jim saw her distress, was unable to do anything more than watch as his chute pulled him up and away from her. Leonard looked up when both of their heart rates shot up without warning. "Emergency chute!" Jim ordered, and she snapped back into her right mind, grabbed the red cord and yanked. For a moment in time she hung suspended, and then the horrifying sound of material tearing sent Anaya spiralling into another freefall.

"Jim!" Anaya's breath caught as she saw the ground coming up on them, Leonard felt himself pale when he heard the panic in Anaya's voice.

"God dammit… what's goin' on?" Leonard asked.

"Glide!" Jim said over the comms. Anaya threw her arms out without question. "I'm coming for you!" He added when he saw her descent start to lessen. It took her a moment to realise what he was saying, and before she could refuse he had ejected his chute and was in freefall once more.

"Jim, no!"

It was too late, he shot toward her like a bullet. She gasped as he got closer, but they both knew physics, it would take a miracle for him to reach her in time. Leonard watched their positions from the AMS in the transport and bit his lip.

"Guys, ground is coming up real fast on y'all," he said. Anaya looked down at the lake, the cavern had never seemed so large, she would hit the ground before she could traverse across for a water landing. Jim wouldn't get to her on time, she had to look for an alternative. Green flashed past her as she spiraled around with the wing suit still out.

Trees. On the side of the cliff she saw them and aimed toward them.

"Lee! They won't hold you!" Jim called out, his voice was pitched higher, she could practically feel his panic.

"Neither will your chute!" She yelled back. With the trajectory she was on, she might be able to pull up using the wings at the last minute, and use the trees to break her fall. Jim cursed at her through the comms and she took a long, deep breath, focused on the small window of opportunity. She glanced at her wrist. "300 metres," she muttered, it was now or never.

Jim yelled at her one more time as she hit the wall climbers. Their branches whipped across her face, and she screamed as her momentum carried her through the first group. She slowed, bounced off the cliff wall and heard the telltale snap of her arm as she rebounded out toward the next copse of green.

Like falling through a series of wind sails in a 21st century comedy, she plummeted closer to the ground, desperately reached for a handgrip but didn't find one. Finally the fabric of her suit caught on a branch, and just like that she stopped. Pain rippled up through her useless arm, and she hung suspended a few hundred metres from the ground. With a gasp, Anaya struggled to suck in another breath, realised she was about to hyperventilate before being swallowed by darkness.

Leonard saw Anaya's free fall come to a sudden halt on the screen, Jim reaching her altitude a moment later and then start to slow. "Jim! Are you there? Lee?"

"She's okay," Jim's voice crackled over the radio. "The trees caught her. I'm landing now, I'm approximately two hundred metres below her."

"Lee, answer me!" Leonard snapped. Silence.

"She's out," Jim's voice. "Get down here."

"On my way," Leonard replied. He eased the transport into gear and flew it over the edge, circling down the ravine. He thumbed the controls, levitated the transport down to a mossy bed. "It'll be fun, Bones. Don't worry sunshine, nothing's gonna happen. There's a test you know?" He muttered under his breath as he jumped out of the transport, grabbed his med kit along with a hover pack. "Over my dead body am I going to do this. I'd rather suffer six weeks of the Kamaraazite flu..."

"Bones!" Jim called out, racing toward him.

"Dammit Jim, if she's…" Leonard couldn't voice it. He swallowed back his fears, strapped into the hover pack and shared an agonised look with his friend.

"She's not," Jim insisted. "She's just unconscious."

"I'm getting her down," he announced.

"Be careful," Jim replied with a nod.

"I'm the only careful one here, I think I got it Jim," Leonard grumbled and Jim's pained look showed just how distressed he was at the situation. Leonard pushed the guilt out of his mind, turned his thoughts to the woman dangling precariously from the trees above him.

He activated the hover pack, felt his feet lift off the ground with a lurch to his stomach. Leonard fought the urge to vomit as he started to rise through the air, deftly maneuvering the pack until he was floating alongside Lee. "Dammit Lee," he said. "Please be okay."

Immediately the injury to her arm was obvious. It hung at an odd angle, broken. He grimaced, but it looked like it was a clean break, if that was the extent of her injuries, she was going to get off easy. He examined her head, looked for any evidence that she'd hit it when she'd impacted with the cliff face. There was no blood, or swelling, he let out a breath and noted that it was promising.

"Can you move her?" Jim's voice sounded over the comms.

"Maybe," he answered, continued his examination. He was concerned with the speed she'd hit the trees. The wingsuit had slowed her descent a little, but he knew from medical school that it didn't take much to damage human spines. "I'm not sure we have a choice." His eyes lifted to the branches that held Lee suspended and contemplated: they didn't look like they'd hold her until help arrived.

Leonard cursed lightly under his breath. "I'm not risking it, call it in Jim. If we have to move her before medical gets here, I will, but I want a back brace here if possible."

Four hours later, Leonard was loitering in the medical bay where Anaya was resting, lightly sedated after her arm had been set, and they'd scanned her for any spinal or cranial injuries, finding none. He still didn't want to leave her alone, and the rest of the team had kept a wide birth since his impatient snap at the last person to try and suggest he take a break. He was taking her pulse by hand, any excuse to touch her, when Anaya woke to a splitting headache, and then an overwhelming urge to vomit. She rolled, coughed, and Leonard moved swiftly to grab the nearby trash can, as she emptied the contents of her stomach into it.

"Well, that's one way to announce you're awake..." drawled Leonard. He reached down, rubbed her back as she gasped for air. His tone was light, teasing, but Anaya heard the underlying relief that was buried in those simple actions.

"Good to see you too, Mac," she smiled, sitting back with a groan. In silence he stared into her watery eyes, reached down to hand her a glass of water and a cloth. She sat back, took a long drink and then extended a hand out to him, felt the way her heart raced with such a simple gesture. Her eyes were plain. _No more._ He met her halfway, fingers laced through hers and squeezed softly. _I'm here,_ his eyes replied. Without words they communicated the longing, fear and care they'd been hinting at for almost a year.

"Well, I hate to say I told you so…" he said finally, the silence broken by his soft words.

"Did I not promise you..." Anaya said, pulling him closer with their linked hands. "It'll be fine… is this not fine?"

"No, _Anaya_ ," Leonard said as he stood over her. "This is definitely _not_ fine." Anaya's eyes widened at the use of her first name, and a twinkle sparkled in his eyes and told her he'd finally, after all this time, looked at her records. Of course, how could he not after she'd just landed herself in the medical bay? Absently, she wondered why it was she'd been so stubbornly holding out on telling him, but it had become something of a game to them. Him trying to guess, and she repetitively shaking her head. " _Seriously? I look like a Kate?"_ But now she heard him say it, with his accent, it was as if her name had been created for the sole purpose of him to speak. Anaya wished she had told it to him sooner.

"I could've lost you down there. You could have _died."_ The anguish in his eyes flowed over her like rich molasses.

"I know, Mac," Anaya said softly. "I was scared too." She breathed in deeply as his free hand brushed along her cheek, much as it had on the top of the cavern. This time it was with a lot more unspoken feeling.

"Dammit woman, you will be the death of me," he muttered, plunged his fingers into the hair at the base of her neck, holding her head still as he closed the distance between them. He paused, lips hovering mere inches from her mouth and sighed. "This is a mistake." She nodded, eyes wide and full of need, fear and hunger.

"Tell me something I don't know, sunshine," she replied, yet her eyes begged him to kiss her. He frowned, then relented.

"I always did have a weakness for redheads," he muttered. When his lips pressed to hers, Anaya thought she might stop breathing. She pressed back into his touch, reached up to touch his face and gasped in pain. Scorching hot fire ran the length of her arm, and she recalled the audible snap accompanied by the white-hot surge of pain as she hit the cliff face… she flinched, lips broke from the kiss with a whimper. Leonard looked down at with a frown, his lips pressed tightly together as he sympathised with her agony.

"That arm is going to be out of commission for a while," Leonard said, gently trailing his fingers along the cast. "Fortunately I have an excellent bedside manner." He smiled, kissed her again, and when she responded with another moan, he tilted her head back, seeking a deeper entrance to her mouth, tongue searching for and finding hers as they circled together, joined at last.

* * *

AN: To my Supernatural fans who are also following this, there will be an update soonish - because I do entire episodes in those chapters, they are _considerably longer_ and more involved. I'm about 2/3 of the way through _I Believe The Children Are Our Future_ and hope to have it up inside of a week, all going well.

Please read and review! It's always great to get feedback and encouragement.


	3. Chapter 3 - Shadows of the Past

AN: I am far from a Star Trek expert - I just love the JJ Abrams movies, and while I've seen bits and pieces of the various TV series, Voyager is the only one I've watched from start to end. I'm learning a lot from the Wikis right now :) I was reviewing timelines with regard to McCoy's ex-wife and learned that in the newer movies - alternate timeline (after Nero changed everything) McCoy's ex-wife was called Pamela, and there's no mention of the daughter. But I went with TOS database when I started writing - hence the daughter and ex-wife's name Jocelyn - the divorce reasons are all TOS.

I'm also slipping in a few references to things that are in the wiki timelines, from comics, but I haven't read them, so if I write reflections on anything about those cases, it's all from my own imagination based on summaries from the Wiki. And some of it is just purely made up on my part :D You have been warned.

Reviews encouraged, always enjoy reading your thoughts!

Disclaimer: I know nothing, Jon Snow, this is all just for fun. Oh, and I don't own anyone but Lee.

* * *

 **SHADOWS OF THE PAST**

* * *

6 MONTHS LATER

* * *

 _L'esprit de escalier – French - The inescapable feeling you get when you leave a conversation then think about all the things you should have said._

* * *

 _Falling. Anaya's breath was knocked out of her as she stumbled backwards, fought the sickening feeling of that moment where she teetered on the edge of the cliff, arms flailing, reaching for something to save herself; then the fall._

 _There was nothing to save her this time. No wingsuit, no parachute, no strategically placed trees to break her fall. She was plummeting to her death, a silent scream etched onto face. They would never find her, not Leonard, not Jim, not anyone. Nobody knew she was here._

Leonard was already sitting up in bed, shaking the sleepless night from his weary head, when Anaya bolted upright in bed, gasping for air. He turned, a frown crossing a face that had until that moment been smiling, recalling their previous evening's activities and the reason for the lack of sleep.

"Are you okay?" He asked when Anaya took another deep, gasping breath. She nodded, her messy red mop of hair bouncing around her face. She clutched the sheet to her naked body like it was a shield, brought her knees up to her chest in a semi-fetal position. Leonard was moving in an instant, sliding across the bed to sit beside her, he hand slipping around her back.

"Bad dream?" His voice was gentle, inviting her to speak as he brushed several strands of hair from her cheek, tucking them behind her ear.

"The same one," Anaya nodded. "I'm falling, and no one can save me."

Leonard's frown increased, his eyebrows furrowed into a scowl of concern. Anaya noticed and smiled, her eyes seeking out his as she mentally pushed the dream from her mind. "I'm fine," she whispered, "don't worry, Doc." She only ever called him that when he was in the medical examiner mode, fussing about her health, or mental state, or any other injury she'd been subjected to in training.

He found that her definition of _fine_ was vastly different to his own. He didn't need a medical certificate to know that Anaya was still mentally suffering from nearly losing her life. He also knew that he was not overreacting to the situation, and would have been as concerned about any other cadet in her situation. The fact that he happened to be sleeping with her, so able to witness first hand the ramifications of that fateful day, just made it easier to diagnose a problem.

Anaya had been through a lot, her father had tried to pull her out of Starfleet following the news, but she'd - in true Anaya form - told him to 'stick it where the sun didn't shine'. Leonard couldn't have said that any better, and still chuckled whenever he pictured the look on the man's face. An advisor to the Governor of California, Joshua Lee was not often spoken back to, nor at a loss for words: something his daughter seemed delight in reminding him.

Her eyes were currently begging him to let it go, but if one thing could be said about the last eighteen months Leonard and Anaya had known each other, stubbornness was a trait that was alive and healthy in both of them. Leonard's eyes narrowed a little at the casual dismissal of her dreams. "I'm going to refer you to speak with Doctor Lovell," he said.

"The shrink?!" Anaya asked, and he nodded. "Oh come on, Mac, that is totally unnecessary, I'm fine, it's just the after effects of the … arm." She couldn't bring herself to say it, even though her voice was light and airy to appease her lover.

"You nearly _died,_ Anaya," Leonard said. "You're not fine."

"It was six months ago," she stated with a huff. "Another year and I won't even remember." Leonard didn't like the way she easily stepped over the symptoms of what was clearly - to him - post traumatic stress, but he understood it. Anaya was one of only a handful of women in the Security division. She was in the top ten percent of her class before the broken arm, that had lowered when she was unable to participate in half the activities. She was angry, frustrated, and feeling like a failure. The last thing she wanted was to explain herself to a psychologist in order to prove that she was fit for duty. Again, Leonard understood, but still he worried he was letting his feelings for her cloud his better judgment.

"I won't ever forget it," Leonard said softly, his voice dropped lower and she paused to look at him.

"I know, and I'm sorry. If I could take it back…"

"You wouldn't change a thing," he finished for her. She sighed, her eyes hard and defiant, wanting to argue. But he was right; they both knew it.

"Yeah, okay, I would do it again," she admitted. "But I'm sorry you had to go through that."

He smiled and raised his eyebrow at her in a cheeky, challenging query. "How sorry?"

Anaya laughed softly at the question, leaning closer to bump her nose against his, her breath ghosting over his cheek. She opened her mouth slightly, pressed soft lips to his and flicked her tongue across his lower lip. He didn't move, eyes narrowed as he watched her with a flicker of humour mixed with want, and need.

"Very, very sorry?" She said, sliding her hand along his arm. He was definitely letting his feelings get in the way, he admitted to himself. Tomorrow, that might need to change. Today, however? Today was his day off, and he was going to enjoy it.

Leonard grinned, pushing her back against the pillows as he positioned himself above, his hands falling either side of her ribcage, pressing down on the mattress. He looked deeply into her eyes, seeing the genuine apology mixed with her teasing advance, and leaned down to claim her lips in a lingering, dance of tongues and hot breath.

"Well…" he breathed, when they broke the kiss. "I am a doctor…"

"Yes?"

"I suppose I should give you a physical, make sure you're fit for duty, Cadet Lee."

"Oh, Doctor, you know…" Anaya turned sultry eyes at him from under long lashes. "Now that you mention it, I have this pain… really more of an ache…" she moved his left hand to between her thighs, "right here…"

Leonard started to trace wide circles along her sensitive skin, his grin turning into more of an amused smirk. "Well that is concerning. Tell me if this hurts…" Anaya groaned as he started to trail light touches along her thigh, moving slowly up toward her centre.

She made a mental note that maybe they needed to get more organised in scheduling their days off, escape the dorms - especially the medical academy, which cautioned great discretion in any student relationships - and spend more time as just the two of them. She found herself more and more wanting to wake up with Leonard - especially following the dreams; these kinds of mornings were by far and away her favourite.

* * *

LATER THAT DAY

"Would you stop fidgetin'" Leonard chastised as Anaya flattened out the buttons on her jacket once more, lifted her head to glare at him.

"I'm nervous, okay?" She snapped and he sighed, brushed a hand along her soft, white cheek.

"You have nothing to be nervous about, Lee," he said, smiling to himself that even after six months he rarely used her first name. It was just as curious to him that her use of _Mac_ had stuck, and sent a quiet thrill through him whenever she used it.

"Easy for you to say," she muttered, closing her eyes and willing herself to calm. He watched her pull back into herself, the nerves folding in on themselves until she was able to tuck them into the very inner reaches of her mind. There, properly settled, she took a deep, centred breath and opened bright blue eyes to look intently at him.

"This is worse than waiting to find out if I was accepted into Starfleet," Anaya commented and Leonard grinned, shook his head a little.

"It's just my daughter, Pumpkin," he slipped his fingers around the back of her neck and pulled Anaya in for a soft distracting kiss, eliciting a quiet moan of frustration out of her.

"I hate it when you do that. And I told you, stop calling me Pumpkin, my hair is not orange!" She pulled away, grabbed his hand as the train pulled into the station. Today they had swapped out their Starfleet uniforms for civvies, and Anaya was enjoying the looks she'd been getting from her companion as they travelled inland to his daughter's sixth birthday party.

"As you wish, Butternut," Leonard replied, falling into step alongside her, ignoring the glare that she tossed in his direction. They stepped in to one of the carriages, quickly found seats as the transport started to move, and fell into a companionable silence when they rolled out of the city and headed South.

Anaya viewed the San Mateo range in the distance, felt a dull ache in her arm and subconsciously rubbed it, recalling the earlier dream. She'd been cleared to return to full duties but still felt anxious about it. Not that she wanted to admit that to Leonard, and had been shoving her fears behind a wall of bravado.

"Does that still hurt?" He asked, breaking the silence when he saw her absent-mindedly touch her arm again.

"No," she replied. "It's like… a phantom ache. There's no pain, but I feel like there should be."

"How did the last few days training go?" He asked, his demeanour changing from carefree to attentive doctor.

"Good, no problems at all," Anaya replied with a reassuring smile. "We're leaving for the Pinnacles in two days, training exercise."

"Climbing? Already? Are you out of your fiery mind?" Leonard snapped, twisting in his seat to look at her straight on. "You only just fixed that thing, you want to try snapping it again?" He didn't know where the reaction came from, but later Leonard would come to realise that a part of him was as scared for Anaya going back into the field, as she was.

Anaya frowned. "This is different, Mac, we're going as a team. It's part of the training, I don't have a choice. You cleared me for duty."

"I meant _light duties,"_ Leonard said, "not going up some mountain where you can get yourself killed."

"Your report didn't _say_ light duties," she countered.

"Yeah well, I can change that," Leonard threatened. Anaya found herself believing he'd actually do it.

"Don't you dare, there's nothing wrong with me and you know it!" She snapped, eyes flaring up with anger. They'd had a passionate six months, acting on the initial attraction that had been there when they met, but unlike her easy rapport with Jim, Anaya didn't always see eye to eye with the Leonard. She trusted him with her life, and together with Jim, they were some of the fastest rising cadets in the Academy. But she couldn't deny that Leonard's personal feelings tended to influence their professional relationship.

"Dammit Lee, I'm worried about your mental state, you haven't recovered fully and I didn't spend the last six months patching you up just to see you break again," Leonard said, and she heard it: the fear, the worry, hidden beneath his blustery surface. She just wasn't about to let it change her course.

"Well get used to it, because this is who I am Mac, and I'm here to do my job." She crossed her arms over her chest and slumped back into her seat with a heated sigh. "You didn't see me interfering two months ago when you got caught in that Rigellian Fever outbreak from those refugees…"

"Now hold on just a precious moment there, _I_ am a doctor, dammit! That is my job!"

"And this is my job, Mac. Sure, it's not going to win a Federation Award for Outstanding Medical Achievement, but _dammit,_ my job saves lives too. It's important."

"Anaya…"

"Don't…" she shook her head.

"Come on, you know I'm proud of everything you've achieved at Starfleet."

"Are you?" She asked, looking at him. "Because sometimes it's like you want to put me in a bird cage; and sure you'll put the cage by the window so I can see the sky, but Leonard, it's not the same as being out there, _in the sky,_ free."

A pensive looked crossed Leonard's face as he recalled the last time she _flew._ She wasn't the only one still suffering nightmares of that day, but he didn't tell her that. In fact, his seemed to be coalescing into a patchwork quilt of events, all where Anaya had been placed in danger - from the most recent fall, to the serial killer attack by _The Doctor_ a year earlier where she'd been attacked by nanobots. He couldn't talk, and he knew it, they'd all been in danger at one point or another during the last eighteen months of training. Leonard just wished that Anaya had chosen to enter into tactical training along with Kirk - she'd been offered - but instead, she'd decided to stay in Security, accepting a well coveted position at the Space Security College.

"I just want you happy," he said finally, brushing a finger down the bridge of her nose. Anaya closed her eyes at the gesture, smiled.

"I _am_ happy, there's nowhere else I'd rather be right now," she relayed honestly, opening her eyes and locking gazes with him. The train started to pull into the station and she frowned, their trip had already come to an end. "Well, actually, there's a dozen other places I'd rather be, _with you,_ right now…"

Leonard chuckled a low and hearty laugh, kissed the sensitive spot behind her left ear, and then pulled her toward the door of the carriage. "Believe me, I'm not looking forward to parts of this anymore than you are, Pumpkin." She rolled her eyes at the use of the name, secretly loved it because it was something he only used when they were alone, and disembarked.

"Welcome to Santa Clara," Leonard drawled, and she smiled up at him.

"Maybe when we're done with our _duties_ , we can take a look around the city?" She asked hopefully. They had until tomorrow morning to return to the Academy, she had been secretly hoping they could stay in the city overnight, and catch an early train back.

"Already waaaay ahead of you," he said with a smile, pulling her into his arms and leaning down to place a relatively chaste kiss to her lips. "We're booked into the White Sands B&B, check in after the party." He quietly took in the excited joy that spread across her face, and then thought about the next couple of hours to come. It was his daughter's seventh birthday party, and it had been almost six months since he'd seen her in person, his training taking up the majority of his time.

He could have been a more attentive father, that was true. Even before the divorce he'd let his studies interfere. Now it was even worse because, he still struggled to be around his ex-wife. He hadn't been over-exaggerating when he'd told Jim and Anaya that she'd gotten the planet in the divorce. While Jocelyn had quickly moved on and remarried to the man she'd had an affair with (the cause of the marriage break-up), it seemed to Leonard that he had been made out to be the villain in all of this. She blamed his long hours away in medical school as having placed a burden on their marriage, especially when she felt she was left alone to raise their daughter.

One evening Leonard had come home unexpectedly to find the house empty. He had discovered her infidelity when Jocelyn and her lover had come home from a 'date'. The pain had been so shocking, he'd said nothing and simply gone back to the medical college; but he'd slipped into drinking more and more to dull the pain of what he knew. Anaya only knew parts of this, and he'd deliberately left it that way. He found himself seeking out her hand as they caught a transport to Jocelyn's new home.

While Anaya called him sunshine, a joking reference to his lack of optimism at the best of times, she was without a doubt the ray of light that had pulled him out of his depression. This would be the first time he'd seen Jocelyn since the divorce, and his stomach churned at the thought.

Anaya was blissfully ignorant of all this, naturally, as the transport whirred into the curb by the spacious mansion set on the outskirts of town. She whistled appreciatively at the decadence of the high walls and wrought iron gates: the fifteen bedroom estate sprawled out behind an immaculately landscaped garden, featuring a large water fountain in the centre of the driveway showcasing willowy mermaids.

"Wow… you should have fought harder in the divorce, you handed over all this for the stars?" Her tone was light, teasing and Leonard grimaced as they stood out the front, looking around.

"This all belongs to the new husband," Leonard muttered under his breath. "She left me before I'd started making any decent money."

"Lucky me," Anaya quipped, kissing him on the cheek. "All those riches and glory to come."

Leonard laughed, "Darlin', if you think we're getting riches and glory from Starfleet, you need to go running back to your daddy," he said, cringed a little when her eyes darkened.

"He can keep it, all I need are my bones and the stars, right?" She recovered quickly, smiling at him brightly. "And a little sunshine."

Leonard chuckled again, turned to her with his trademark raised eyebrow. She stared up into those hazel eyes, watching them shift in colour, darkening with his desire for her. "You know, there was an actor back in the 21st century, funny guy. He said 'The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk.'"

Anaya smirked, raising her eyebrow at him. " _Your_ coconut milk, doctor?" Leonard's smile opened into one of amusement, pleased she'd caught the double entendre.

She tried to hold it in, the image of their morning romp still fresh in her mind, and realised that Leonard had been waiting to use this quote for some time now. She laughed, grabbing at his arms. It wasn't a dainty laugh by any means. It rippled through her from her stomach and up, she leaned into his chest, her forehead pressed against the soft fabric of his shirt as she started to cry tears of hysteria.

"Coconut...milk…" she blubbered, bursting into another fit of laughter.

Leonard watched her with a broad smile on his face. He loved her when she broke into her moments of uncontrolled laughter. "Oh my god, Mac, that is the… the… _funniest_... " The gates started to swing open on automatic hinges, and she felt him stiffen beside her, the laughter falling instantly from her.

Anaya wiped at her eyes, instantly regretting that she'd probably smudged her mascara, and turned to see a woman, as immaculate and well groomed as the house and gardens surrounding her, standing by the gate - an amused expression on her face. "Mac?" She asked with a slight upturn of her mouth. "How cute."

Leonard cleared his throat, and Anaya stepped back to give him some room to breathe. He stepped with her, not letting her separate for even a moment, his fingers moving to lace with hers as he turned his southern charm on, and smiled at the woman now watching them closely.

"Afternoon Jocelyn. Permit me to introduce Anaya Lee; Anaya, the mother of my daughter, Jocelyn Darnell," he said smoothly, but Anaya could feel the tension radiating off him, a stark contrast to their light-hearted banter only moments earlier. He'd deliberately used Jocelyn's maiden name to irritate her.

Anaya extended her hand out to Jocelyn, found it met with a strong, firm grip. "Jocelyn _Treadway_ ," the woman corrected. "Charmed. Please, come up to the house," she turned stern eyes to Leonard. "You're late, Joanna is waiting."

Without any hesitation, she turned on her high heels and Anaya found herself wondering how she'd missed the approach of the woman. She realised with a start she'd been laughing so hard at Leonard's comment that she'd lost awareness of her surroundings. Chastising herself for being so lax, even on a break, she resolved to work on that.

She found herself watching the woman as she walked. The graceful sway of her slim hips, the impossibly perfect cut of her hair - red of course - piled elegantly upon her head in a coil and secured with a clip boasting diamonds, emeralds and rubies. Next to Leonard, in a simple pair of black dress pants, an emerald green shirt under a matching black blazer, Anaya felt herself suddenly dwarf in comparison.

"She's something else," Anaya breathed, quietly awed by the poise of her lover's ex-wife.

"Well... that's one way o' puttin' it," Leonard said, sobering as he thought about those dark days following his realisation of her infidelity. While Anaya was seeing nothing but competition, and feeling inadequate, he was quietly wishing they could get out of there as soon as possible. No good was going to come of this day, he was certain of it.

Several hours later the party was everything he'd dreaded, and more. The clown was off entertaining what appeared to be the entire population of the boarding school Jocelyn had thrown their daughter into. The cowboy was giving pony rides in the back yard, and he was downing his third whiskey, wishing he could drown himself in the olympic sized pool.

Anaya had disappeared into the house with Joanna; they'd been headed for the rooftop terrace to set up the telescope they'd picked out for her - so she could watch when Daddy went up into space. He felt a presence behind him, hoped Anaya had returned, but found himself suddenly wedged between an oak column holding up the patio, and the last person on earth he felt like talking to.

"It's good to see you, Leonard," Jocelyn said softly, looking out over the party surrounds.

"Is it now?" He quipped, shaking his head and sipping from his tumbler.

"Still drinking, I see?" She retorted, raising her eyebrow at him, but otherwise her porcelain perfect face stayed unmoving.

"Only in the presence of cold-blooded reptiles," he muttered under his breath. If she heard it, she didn't let on.

"Your new redhead is pretty," Jocelyn changed the subject.

"What's it to you?"

"She'll have to go, of course," at this Leonard turned his head to look incredulously at her.

"Come again?"

"I need you here, Leonard, you need to come home to your daughter." It wasn't a question. Leonard reeled at her presumptuousness.

"Listen, Jocelyn, there ain't a wild bronco on this _planet_ that is gonna…"

"She's _dying,_ Leonard," Jocelyn cut in. "You're needed here."

Leonard thought his heart might stop, turned to stare into his ex-wife's eyes, seeing the fear and worry lodged deep down inside her cold heart. He knocked back the rest of his whiskey with a scowl. The tiniest of tears slipped out from the corner of her eye, and Leonard felt his heart melt just the slightest. She was the mother of his child, after all, and he _had_ loved her, once. He sighed, reaching out to pull her into his arms, "yeah, all right, don't worry, I'm here."

He held her familiar body in his arms, mind turning to Joanna and what could possibly be wrong. His medical mind started turning over, running various scenarios as he mentally diagnosed his daughter from the day's events - she didn't _look_ sick, so it had to be something not obvious, something neural, or maybe lymphatic… his thoughts were interrupted by the press of lips to his, and he felt the sharp graze of Jocelyn's perfectly manicured nails slide through his hair, pulling his head into hers as she kissed him hard. He was stunned for a moment, freezing as she continued to assault him with touches and tongue. He pulled back, heard the slam of the front door echo down the hallway to where he was standing, his ex-wife still wrapped up in his arms. He cursed, pushed her away, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Are you out of your flippin' mind?!"

* * *

Anaya had watched the scene unfold in front of her with a quivering lip. The afternoon had been grueling, to say the least. Leonard and Jocelyn were on their best behaviour, one wouldn't have even known there was a feud between them; a couple of times she even saw them share a laugh. Jocelyn's new husband was suspiciously absent, and she'd started to hear rumours that he was abroad, and how 'things were going to change soon', from the other guests at the party.

When Joanna had told her that she was sick, and how her dad was going to come home to them because of it, Anaya had put it down to the fantasies of a little girl, but then she'd heard it - from his own mouth - " _Yeah, all right, don't worry, I'm here."_ He could have cut her open with a scalpel, it hurt that much. When they'd started to kiss, she had to run. There was no way she could face this here, not during a little girl's birthday party, and Anaya knew she didn't have it in her to play happy homes while waiting for him to break the news to her.

Anaya used her training to silently run toward the front door, tears threatening to spill in her eyes as she got out to the front porch, the door closing with a louder reverberation than she'd intended, and then started to run in earnest. She saw the last six months flash before her eyes as she flagged down a transport and climbed in, telling the driver to head for the train station as quickly as possible.

 _He's broken, still in pain from the divorce, hurting…_ she'd known it when she met him, hadn't realised how much so.

Her comm beeped on her wrist communicator and she glanced down at it, ready to reject the call, only it wasn't Leonard. Jim's name flashed up and she clicked the screen as the transport pulled up in front of the train station. She exited, and took his call.

"Hey Lee, a couple of us are going up early to the Pinnacles, you coming or are you all tied up with Bones?" His voice was light, teasing, and quietly she sucked back a sob. Looking at the screens, she located the next train to San Francisco: she was in luck, there was one just leaving. Hurrying across the platform, she waved her wrist over the check in, hearing the computer beep, and jumped through the doors as they were closing.

"I'm in," she said. "I'll be back at the Academy in an hour."

"Yes! Bring your marshmallows, we're going camping." He ended the communication and Anaya sat back in the train, her mind returning to Leonard.

Joanna was sick. He'd do anything for her, even return to his former life. _It was always going to end like this,_ she thought to herself. She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing it from her mind. She'd known going in it was a risk. Why else had she denied his advances for the better part of a year? Now that it was happening, she found herself more shattered than she thought.

' _This is a mistake.'_

He'd said it from the beginning.

"Yeah," she muttered as the words rattled around in her brain. "Tell me something I don't know, Doc."

* * *

Anaya disembarked the train with a heavy heart, stowed it deep inside when she saw Jim running toward her, his face all flushed. He paused, taking in her mixed expression, and then noted that Leonard wasn't with her.

"What's wrong?" He asked, instantly realising that he'd hit a nerve when her face crumpled, and tears started to shimmer in her eyes. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lee, what's going on? Where's Leonard?"

"He's...he's…" she waved her hand absently in the air. "Gone."

Jim froze at the words, stunned. He'd never in all this time thought his best friend would be the love 'em and leave 'em type. In fact, quite the contrary. He'd not seen Leonard McCoy go home with a single girl the whole first year of their training: until Lee. She was the man's kryptonite, they all knew it.

With a single step he'd pulled her into his arms, squeezing her tightly as she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest.

"Dammit Bones," he muttered under his breath, felt her shake her head.

"It's… it's not his fault, it's mine," she said into his shirt, her words causing Jim to frown.

"You want to run that by me again?"

"He… he needs to be with his family," she replied, and Jim found himself certain that he'd missed one hell of a story that had unfolded in the last twenty-four hours. The last he'd seen of the dynamic duo, they had been heading back to Leonard's quarters for the night, with plans to visit his daughter for her birthday the next day: today.

"Okay..." he said, not really understanding what she was talking about. He shoved the thought to the back of his brain. His keen mind turned to the complicated mess they were now in. He needed Lee to be the top of her game, now he was worried she was an emotional wreck, and that didn't bode well for what he had to tell her.

"You're gonna have to fill me in later, Kitten," he said, using a nickname he'd coined after her near-death miss. So far she was on eight lives remaining, and he was counting. "We got a mission."

Anaya stiffened in his arms, sniffed back her tears and pulled her head back to look at him. "A mission? What mission?"

"Walk with me, no time to explain," he said, and he wasn't lying. Almost as soon as he'd gotten off the comms with her, he'd been summoned to Captain Pike's office, where he'd received the most exciting news of his life.

"There's been an attack on the outskirts of the galaxy, an Earth colony, _Imara._ You know it?" Anaya nodded, she'd been made privy to the recent intelligence reports stating that Klingons had been in the area, staging attacks on the newly settled colony. She stated as much to Jim, who nodded and smiled proudly at her.

"As such, we're going on a peacekeeping mission," he said.

"Jim, that's insane. We're barely out of Starfleet diapers, how can we be on a mission?" She shook her head, trying to take it in, wondered if he was pranking her. Surely that was it, he was trying to cheer her up, the only way he knew how…

"First off, we've been on missions before, we're not that wet behind the ears, Lee. Second, this is Pike, and I don't know, he's always had a thing for me. Third… half of Pike's team is down with the Levodian flu, they are out for the count for the next two days so they're pulling in anyone who is available. We gotta move now, we're on the first shuttle up to the _Farragut_ in half an hour."

"Half an hour?!" Anaya felt the blood drain from her face. "Jim I can't, I… what about Mac? I mean…" She stopped, looked at the people standing around, Jim waited beside her.

"He'll still be here when we get back," he said softly. _And so will whatever is going on with you two._ It went unspoken, but as Anaya looked into his eyes, she got the message, nodded. Maybe this was exactly what needed to happen. A clean break. She found it ironic that their whole relationship had started with a clean break of her arm, now it was ending with one too - only this time it wasn't her arm that was breaking, it was her heart.

"Okay," she said, nodded again. She spotted a familiar face in the crowd, moved to intercept. "Katira!" Her roommate stopped, smiled and waved.

"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't back until tomorrow," Katira asked, her blonde ponytail bobbing up and down as she walked up to them closely.

"Yeah, change of plans. Listen, I need you to get a message to McCoy, when he turns up."

"Sure, what is it?"

Jim was already handing her a tablet, an anxious look on his face as he glanced at his wrist watch. She scrawled her message quickly before passing it on to Katira.

"Tell him… just tell him I'm sorry, okay?"

She left her confused roommate standing in the middle of the courtyard, took Jim's hand, and together they ran for the shuttledock.


	4. Chapter 4 - Angina Pectoris

AN: It's late, I've rewritten this chapter several times now, trying to get it in the direction I wanted to go. This is it, I apologise if some of it doesn't make sense, or is just plain crap!

* * *

 **ANGINA PECTORIS**

* * *

 _La Douleur Exquise (French): The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can't have._

* * *

"What the hell were ya thinkin' woman?" Leonard was furious with his ex-wife, more so when he realised that her little stunt had been witnessed by Anaya, and it had been her exiting the mansion that he'd heard. "You think you can just snap your fingers, and I'm gonna come runnin' … how demented do you think I am? I'm a doctor, not a dancing monkey."

"Calm your voice, Leonard, we have guests," Jocelyn's exterior hadn't changed in the slightest. Leonard found his heart racing with the urge to punch her in the middle of her smug face. He had no doubt in his mind that she'd orchestrated the whole thing, probably been planning it for days.

"Somethin' you didn't seem to be worried about when you were pawing all over me like a Corellian sloth in heat," Leonard retorted. He shook his head, waved a hand at her and started to hurry down the hallway after Anaya. His exit was halted by the sound of Joanna coming down the stairs, and she called out to him as she saw him reach the door.

"Daddy! Are you leaving?" He stopped, torn in two between his duty to his child, and the love he knew he had for the woman who was now running - half a story in her fiery head - and likely on her way back to the Academy.

"Dammit, I knew this day wasn't gonna end well." He turned back to his daughter, and put on a bright smile, if there had been anyone he'd managed to feign delight for in life it was Joanna. He'd been a poor excuse for a father in the last few years, he knew it, and that needed to change, starting now.

* * *

By the time Leonard reached the dorms, Anaya was nowhere to be found. He pounded on her door, for the third time that evening, and was finally rewarded with a reply. Katira padded to the door in sweatpants and a crop top, looking up at his red-ringed eyes, the result of too many drinks in too short a time.

"Evenin' Katira, where's Lee?" He said, pushing the door back and stepping into the room. It was comfortable. Anaya's side was the opposite to her roommate's. While Katira went for the cluttered, fresh out of high school look with shelves of photographs, and feminine products like nail polish and make-up, the picture topped off by clothing piled on the end of the bed; Anaya's bedroom was practically spartan. She liked her surroundings simple, serene, and often sighed at Katira's mess. She's erected an old world Japanese screen down the centre, blocking the majority of the view, and the only decoration to her side was green, luscious plants. Leonard had always loved it. He glanced around the screen, hoping to find her hiding, sighing in frustration when she didn't step out into the room.

Katira blinked and stepped back, a frown crossing her face. "She isn't here."

"Well, that much is obvious, so where is she?" Leonard asked, spinning on the young cadet. He felt as if his heart was going to hammer out of his chest, had been replaying the whole afternoon in his mind. If ever he'd needed Lee to snap into one of her indignant rages, it had been then. The fact that she hadn't, instead choosing to run, was all the more reason for concern; it told him how much it had hurt her. And hurt people did stupid things.

Katira turned and grabbed a tablet off her desk, handed it to him silently, a little wary of his actions. He flipped it on, eyes adjusting to the brightness of the screen as he read Anaya's messy handwriting. " _Mac, she's a beautiful little girl. You must be very proud. I wish you all the best, find your sunshine."_

"She said to say she was sorry," the girl said, drawing his attention away from Anaya's words.

"Sorry? Oh good lord this is a nightmare. Where is she?" He repeated, looking up at the woman who was fidgeting with the end of her long plaited hair.

"Offworld, some mission or something," she said with a shrug.

"A mission? _Offworld?_ Where?" Leonard's face couldn't have been more surprised if you'd just told him he was the son of a Klingon. He wondered how Anaya had gotten herself on a mission, in space, so quickly.

"I don't know, but she and Kirk were in an awful hurry when I saw them," she replied.

"Kirk? _Jim Kirk?"_ He asked, she nodded. "Jesus H Christ could this day get any worse?" He muttered, and he stormed out of the room, taking the tablet with him.

* * *

 ** _Imara, the edge of the Milky Way._**

The flight to Imara had been uneventful and she'd immersed herself in the task at hand, familiarising herself with her station, ensuring that she was ready for action at a moment's notice. She need not have worried, the training they'd received to date had put her and Jim in good stead for what was to come. The _Farragut_ was not built for military action - none of the Federation ships were, but they were armed as best as possible and ready to negotiate a ceasefire and truce with the Klingon, and take defensive action as needed.

"Lee, are you listening to me?" Jim asked as she stared down at the small green planet, framed by the window. There was a storm brewing on the surface, the white clouds of the stratosphere were circling around into a spiral, and she shivered involuntarily, glad she wasn't on the planet itself. Imara was a new colony, and it had been plagued by a variety of challenges when the colonists had first settled there. After a decade they had finally learned that the fish they'd been trawling were part of a very delicately balanced eco-system, and when the populations dropped, a dangerous algae had started to bloom, making almost fifty percent of the planet's fresh water undrinkable. The colony had filters to deal with the issues of food and drinking water impurities, but their mission to keep the pristine beauty of the world was paramount. Within twelve months they had made the changes necessary to restore the lakes of Imara to the way they had been - a treasure trove of waterfalls and rivers washing through high canyons and green valleys. Anaya had been asked to join a survey team once defenses for the colony had been established, and for all her excitement, she was still dwelling on Leonard.

"Huh?" Anaya asked, glancing behind her. "Sorry Jim."

"Are you sure you're good for this? I need you here, now, Lee. No distractions." He leaned heavily on the table between them, his eyes watching her carefully, a deep, knowing look exchanged with her. He knew she was struggling to hold it together. She nodded her reply, pushed Leonard and the kiss she'd witnessed to the back of her mind. It had been almost twelve hours and she was exhausted.

"Yeah, I'm good," she replied, wrapping her arms around her waist as she turned. Jim's face softened for a moment, and he moved to take her arms in his hands, searching her eyes - she could see the confusion there, the desire to help her through whatever was going on. She also knew they didn't have that luxury with their current mission. Everything had to be put on hold, especially their personal problems. "We get through the next few hours, Kitten, and then you can tell me what the hell is going on with Bones, huh? I'm sure it's not as bad as you think."

Anaya shoved everything behind her professional mask, biting down on her quivering lip. "It's worse, but I should have seen it coming," she said. "Let's get this job done, what's next?"

"Security briefing, we need to run some logistics on defense for the colony, and come up with some short term solutions to warn us about incoming attack." He continued to rattle off a list of things that tactics would need, she took notes, locking the events of the day in the back of her mind where she couldn't look at them.

* * *

 **THREE DAYS LATER**

 ** _Earth_**

The last three days had been pure torture for Leonard as he walked around in a daze, uncertain of how to proceed. Everything had come crashing down around him, as surely as the Romulan offence had crumpled at the Battle of Cheron. Leonard found immersed in the nightmares of his father; dreams that had been buried years earlier, now resurfaced with the new threat to his family.

" _Son, I am begging you, help me..."_ The words were some of the very last Doctor David McCoy had ever spoken. His genetic condition had deteriorated so quickly, no one had been able to do anything about it. For Leonard, fresh in medical college, a difficult decision had to be made. Did he watch his father die in agony, unable to control a single bodily function? Or did he give him a dignified death?

The answer at the time had seemed so simple, but now, faced with the knowledge that Joanna carried the same anomaly in her genetic make-up, he questioned if he'd made the right decision to help his father end his life. It had driven him into a 24-hour drinking session, resulted in many drunken messages sent offworld to the _Farragut_ to both Jim and Anaya, and ended with him face down on the snooker table in _The Wild Turkey._ Which is where he had stayed, until Cadet Uhura had found him, escorting him back to the quarters he shared with Jim. With coffee, and soup, she'd nursed him back to sobriety with barely a word, her dark eyes saying it all – she didn't need to know his pain to know there was something wrong.

Eventually, Jocelyn had sent for him, and he'd arrived via town car with a packed bag, his silver flask tucked into the inside pocket of his leather jacket, and a three day growth covering his chin. He hadn't looked this _civilian_ since he'd been recruited. Somehow he felt just as lost now, standing in the large living room of his ex-wife's home, as he had back then.

She'd just informed him of her plans, and how they involved him – he listened, slightly gobsmacked by her presumptuousness, and yet strangely comforted by the familiarity of having her boss him around. There was one thing, at the very least, he could count on to stay the same: how much he loathed his ex-wife. As they waited on confirmation from her husband as to whether they would to proceed, Jocelyn looked over his ragged appearance and shook her head.

"You look a sight, Leonard," she commented and received a glare in reply. "Pull yourself together. I'm sure you can survive a few months without your little girlfriend," Jocelyn's voice was dripping with sarcasm as she spoke.

"Now see here, Jocelyn, I've about had enough of you and the petty excuses to just … dig the knife a little deeper." He made a motion in the air like being stabbed, twisting the handle as he punctuated each word.

"I haven't even had a chance to _speak_ to Anaya since all this happened, and you want to lecture me on responsibility? Well, maybe I ought to have a word with Clay about that _kiss?_ You and I both know it was nothing more than one of your carefully staged dramatics, don't think me a fool. It was created for one thing, and one thing only - to get Jocelyn _Honey_ Treadway whatever, and whomever, she damn well wants, when she wants it!" His voice had progressively grown louder, his accent stronger the more his anger started to rise. Jocelyn took it all in stride with a little smile, knew that she had won this battle. At the end of the day she knew as well as Leonard, he would do his duty.

"You done?" She asked, and Leonard sneered at her, walking over to the bar that was tucked away in the corner, and poured himself a whiskey. When he didn't reply verbally, she clicked her tongue in smug satisfaction and moved to the wall where a large screen, that spanned the size of half the room, was located. She activated the call, took a few steps back with the click clacking sound of heels on tile, and waited for communication to establish on the other end.

Leonard observed from the corner of his eye as the link connected and the round face of Clay Treadway, Jocelyn's current husband - also the man she'd cheated on him with - came up on the screen. "Did you speak to them?" Jocelyn asked without any introductory precursors.

"Yes, and they have agreed to take us with them, have you spoken to Leonard?" Clay's voice echoed into the room, and to answer, Leonard stepped forward, raised his glass to the one man he pitied more than himself.

"Evening Clay," he said. "I'm listenin',"

"Good evening, Leonard," replied the man, equally as cordial. Leonard pushed back the desire to roll his eyes, and set his mind to the priority here - Joanna. Clay continued, "the doctor I have been working with in the peace corps is exceptional. This is his speciality. His name is Professor Roger Korby. He's a scientist, and a doctor, he has been studying this illness in others for several years now on Earth and Vulcan. He has started humanoid trials for a cure - he's close. With a mind like yours, Leonard, he just might get there quicker." Leonard didn't even blink at the compliment. He knew the man was nothing more than a walking, talking bag of compliments designed to broker peace treaties and garner sympathetic support from government agencies.

"He's agreed to take Joanna into the pilot program?" Jocelyn asked, receiving a nod in reply. Leonard didn't have a choice, felt his heart sink at the thought that his ex-wife had been right, he was needed here. But that didn't mean he was their puppet, he had commitments, responsibilities that would need to be addressed.

"I'll need to speak to the Academy," Leonard said, his voice resigned.

"Already done," Treadway replied. "You've been granted a six month leave of absence." The speed with which the man worked was admirable, that much was certain.

"Well don't you all just have this wrapped up with a tidy bow?" Leonard drawled, glaring at Jocelyn.

"It's what we do, Leonard," Jocelyn replied. "You fix people, we fix everything else."

Leonard scowled, shook his head and looked over at Clay. Jim and Anaya were offworld, and nobody knew when the _Farragut_ would be returning – he'd done all that he could to get Anaya to talk to him. His daughter was the priority now, he knew Anaya wouldn't begrudge him that. He didn't see that had a lot of options, and he could call them from Vulcan, just as easily as he could Earth. "When do we leave?"

"As soon as you can get Joanna, and yourselves to the shuttle."

* * *

 **1 WEEK LATER**

 ** _Vulcan_**

Space was a big place. Leonard had been trying to connect with Anaya since they'd arrived, but there were reports of subspace relays being out due to solar flare activity on the edge of the galaxy - making long range communication near impossible until they were repaired.

His time had been thrown into research and getting himself up to speed with Dr Korby's theories. In the evenings, when he was free to indulge, he'd write a message, asking for her to get in touch with him.

To add insult to injury, the _USS Farragut_ had been delayed in its return from a peacekeeping exercise, and a Vulcan starship had been dispersed to prevent the situation escalating into all out war. He found his time spent worrying about Jim and Anaya, and the ship that was for all intents and purposes a research and exploration vessel, now engaged in a Klingon standoff.

He'd fall into sleepless nights full of nightmarish dreams where Anaya was in danger, and he was millions of miles away, unable to intervene. By morning there was never a reply, and he felt his heart sinking fast.

Bathed in the stark, white light of the lab, Leonard scowled at the current read-out of figures on his screen, glancing over from time to time at Joanna, who had taken to the journey like any child would - with all the excitement and curiosity of being on a new world that he should be exhibiting. "Penny for your thoughts?" Sounded a soft voice beside him and he turned to see Korby's assistant Christine Chapel standing beside him with a smile. Leonard realised that he should have analysed the report in front of him half an hour ago, but his concentration was shot.

"Oh, nothin' worth worrying you over," he said, looking back at the screen.

"Are the readings coming out as expected?" She asked, and he nodded.

"So what's with the frowny face then?"

"It's personal," he replied, and she heard the warning tone in his voice. Her face fell slightly, she glanced down at her hands and then over at the children who were playing in the room next door, separated by a glass window.

'I'm sorry if I intruded," she said. Leonard paused, taking in the young woman's appearance. She was definitely attractive, long blonde hair pulled into a knot at the base of her neck, sharp brown eyes that took in her surroundings with ease. He found himself taking to discussing the research with her, her company easy to be in. More importantly, she had done nothing to deserve his dark moods.

"My fault," he said. "Just… well it's a long story."

"How about I buy you a cup of Illidan tea, and you can tell me all about it?" Leonard smiled, made the decision to be less of a misery guts, and to actually get out of the lab and distract himself from Jim and Anaya.

"I'll go you one better - how about we skip my problems, and you tell me how it is that you ended up out here, among all these green-blooded goblins, doing biochemistry?" He asked, earning himself a bright smile from the young research student.

Christine nodded, extending a hand out to him. "You have a deal," she said, squeezing his hand when he joined it with hers.

* * *

 ** _Imara_**

"He did _what?!"_ Jim asked incredulously. It had taken Anaya a week to fill him in on the events at Joanna's birthday. Partly because they'd been caught up in trying to stop a war, partly because it was still too fresh: Anaya was finding it easier to pretend it hadn't happened at all, that she was just away on a mission. But at the end of her shifts, she was drawn back into the ache that sat permanently inside her chest.

"Well, I don't know what I was expecting, Jim. I mean, you saw him when we met, he was hurting - but it wasn't hurt of his choosing. _She_ did this to him…"

"Which makes it all the more … _insane._ Why would he want anything to do with her?" Jim asked. Anaya had been giving it a lot of thought.

"His daughter is sick, she told me herself. She said that Mac was going to come home to them, help her get better," she paused and Jim looked at her dubiously.

"I dunno, Lee…"

"You can't just turn off your feelings like a tap, Jim. Of course he still has feelings for his ex, why wouldn't he? _She_ was the one who left him… maybe…"

She couldn't bring herself to say it, even though she'd thought it often enough. _Maybe he was trying to fix what she broke._ Jim had been reading Anaya for a long time, years in fact. He might have shared a dorm room with Leonard, but he spent just as much time in Anaya's, hanging out on her bed, watching scary movies from a time when television was 2D and limited to the senses of sight and sound. Their tastes were simple, their friendship easy, and he knew her heart as well as she did – though he would never admit to being such a soft-hearted romantic.

"You think she asked him to come home, for the girl, and he just fell into bed with her?" Jim asked. Anaya nodded and he shook his head.

"That's not Leonard, and you know it," his voice was gentle, certain. "He's an old fashioned country boy, he doesn't cheat. There's something we're missing here."

"I know what I saw, Jim!"

"And I'm not saying you are making it up, Lee, I swear. But don't you think we should talk to him? Get his side of the story?" Anaya felt her heart almost stop at the thought. She couldn't bring herself to face Leonard yet, not this soon. Jim sighed, ran a hand across his weary face.

"This is _the worst time_ for us to be offworld," he said, and she wholeheartedly agreed, even though running into Leonard wasn't high on her list of things to either. "Let me call him, I'll find out what's going on."

"No!" Her voice was louder than she expected and he raised an eyebrow at her, leaning forward on the table between them, his palms resting flat on the surface. Anaya threw him a pensive look. "I'll… I'll do it, just not yet. We need to focus on the mission. This can wait."

Jim wasn't convinced, and secretly resolved to get a message to Leonard. when the klaxons started to blare, and the Captain's voice sounded over the comms. " _Red alert. Battle stations, all hands."_

"Just another day at the office," he grinned at Anaya, and she returned the smile, excitement gripping at the pair of them as they exited the room, and bounded down the corridors to their respective stations.

* * *

 **2 weeks later**

 ** _Imara_**

Anaya stared at the screen, biting her lip. There were at least a dozen messages from Leonard sitting in her databank, waiting for her to replay them. The attack from the Klingons had knocked out subspace relay stations and left them with only short-range communications. This meant no mail from home. When they'd been restored, she found her listings inundated with messages from the one man she'd been trying to get out of her head.

There was a knock at the door, she waved her hand across the screen to set the picture to one of a dark forest with the sun shining through the treetops. "Come in," she called out and heard the hiss of the latch opening. Captain Pike stood on the other side, his hands locked behind his back, he took a couple of steps into the room as she stood to attention.

"Captain, how can I help?"

"At ease, Cadet Lee, these are your quarters," he said with a smile. She relaxed instantly and nodded, moving to the small kitchen shared by her and the other two crewman in this room.

"Can I offer you some Cardassian tea?" She knew it was one of his favourites.

"Another time, I won't be staying," he said, saw her face fall. "But I have some news to put a smile on your face."

"Oh? What is it?"

"How would you like to stay on the _Farragut?_ Continue your training under Lieutenant Commander Giotto?" He asked.

"Are you serious, sir?" She said, startled by the offer.

"Indeed. Before your accident you were in the top of your class. These past few weeks have proven that you still are. Giotto has personally selected you, along with Cadet Rey, to train with him. You'll learn the ship, work alongside me in tactics, and in three months I'll send you to Earth for intensive combat training. What say you?"

"I… I am completely blown away, Sir. Yes. Of course, I would be crazy to refuse." Anaya felt the twist of excitement in her stomach.

We're

The Captain paused, looked carefully at her before questioning: "Tell me, Cadet. You and Kirk, you're close?"

"Yes, sir," she nodded.

"I've asked around, you two spend a lot of time together when you're off duty. Is there anything I need to know, as your commanding officer?" His eyes were serious, but gentle. Anaya contemplated what he was saying, eye widened as the implications of his suggestions hit her.

"You think… you think Jim and I are… that we're…?" She could barely get the words out. Pike looked down at the floor, and then up at her again. Anaya let out a short laugh, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth.

"Oh no, sir. We're not… it's not like that. Jim's like a brother, to me. I'd give my life for him, but… you have nothing to worry about, we know our duty." She squared her shoulders slightly, feeling as if she should stand to attention.

"Brotherly love can be as detrimental as romantic," Pike mused. "But you both drive each other the excellence. I have a mind to offer him a position as my navigation officer, bring him with us. He will need to return to the Academy, after the three month tour, of course, but I think it would do him good to see how the chair works."

Anaya smiled, excited by the prospect of exploring space further with Jim, and nodded. "Yes, sir."

"I'll have the orders drawn up," Captain Pike said, "enjoy the rest of your evening."

"I will. And thank you, Sir. For believing in me,"

"Nothing to thank me for, you did it all yourself Miss Lee." As Pike left the room, Anaya sunk into the seat by the viewscreen, contemplated what she'd just learned. Glancing at the clock, she realised she had a little time before her roommates returned from their shift. Even though she was hurting, she wanted to share this news with Leonard: he would be happy for her and Jim, an opportunity to explore space like they'd always wanted.

With a trembling hand she decided to skip listening to them, spoke out loud: "Computer: What is the current location of Doctor Leonard McCoy?"

There was a pause, and then: "Doctor Leonard McCoy, current location: Vulcan City, Vulcan."

Vulcan? That made no sense! "Computer, what is the local time on Vulcan?"

There was a blip, and then "Local time on Vulcan is 1433."

Taking a deep breath, she nodded. "Computer, connect a call to Vulcan, quarters of Doctor Leonard McCoy."

While the call was put through she paced in front of the viewscreen, wondering what she was going to say. She'd barely given thought to anything else the whole time they'd been on the _Farragut,_ knowing that she'd have to face him eventually - find out that he was leaving her.

When the call patched through she found herself looking not at Leonard, but at Jocelyn, the red-headed woman was as lovely and pristine as the day they'd met and Anaya shook her head slightly, trying to reconcile the face of this woman in Leonard's room.

"Hello Anaya, Leonard's not here right now, he's in the lab. Can I help you?" Anaya reacted the only way she could with the emotions running through her head. She hung up. Sinking down on the chair behind her, she rocked forward hugged her knees, trying to suppress the pain that was shooting through her chest.

* * *

 _ **Vulcan**_

Leonard could barely believe someone had finally returned his call. He was in the lab when it came through, and hitting hold, he rushed to his quarters to take it in private. He observed Jim on the viewscreen: he looked unexpectedly angry, and it put Leonard on alert instantly.

"Jim, it's about time someone started returning my calls."

"Why'd you do it Bones?" Jim asked, and Leonard ran a hand over his mouth, his eyebrows bunched together as he frowned.

"Do what, exactly?"

"I told her, I said there was no way you'd cheat on her, no way in Hell," Jim said and Leonard felt relief that at least one person was seeing sense. "But then you ran off to Vulcan with your ex."

"Are you out of your cornfed mind?" He snapped, moving to stand in front of the viewscreen. "I'm not cheatin' on Lee, that's insane!"

"You're _on Vulcan,_ Bones. And she was in your room!"

"My room? What are you talking about?" Leonard struggled to understand what was going on, his mind was spinning its wheels, racing to catch up.

"Lee called you a week ago, had a nice chat with your wife, in _your room_. You trying to tell me it was some kind of mistake?" Jim asked, crossing his arms. He looked through the screen at Leonard, who quite frankly did look like he could use a few good night's sleep, and a haircut, but otherwise sane and competent.

"Mistake?" Leonard said, pausing for a moment. "No, no I doubt it was a mistake. That woman doesn't do random, she doesn't make _mistakes,_ Jim. It was cold, and calculated, and designed to get _exactly the reaction_ she got out of Lee."

"You're saying you're being set up?" Jim asked, his mind doing a 180 and grasping for the straws that Leonard was offering. When he'd listened Leonard's stories about the manipulations of his ex-wife, the way she'd been carrying on a relationship behind his back for years, and then made it seem as if he was the bad guy, he thought it was just the usual ramblings of a man who had come out the raw end of a divorce.

"That's exactly what I'm sayin'!" Leonard replied, throwing his hand up in the air. "Good lord man, I thought you trusted me."

"I do," Jim said, "but I'm not the one you're slipping the sausage to… if you catch my drift." Leonard rolled his eyes.

"Classy, Jim, real classy. And, I thought she trusted me too!" Leonard snapped, collecting one of his ales from the refrigeration unit in his room, and taking a drink. "Heck, she didn't even come and accuse me of anything. If ever I needed her fiery temper to kick in, it was then." His voice dropped to barely a whisper. "But she ran, _with you,_ straight onto a damn starship, and ended up on the other side of the galaxy!"

"Hey, don't blame me in this!" Jim replied.

"Of all the half-cocked, cardiac inducing, ludicrous ideas you and Lee have come up with over the years, she acted like any one of the lovesick, recruits straight off the shuttle!" He swept his arm out to the left of him, as if gesturing to the rest of the Starfleet Academy, Jim bristled a little, feeling his defensiveness for Anaya kicking in.

"You, were _kissing another woman!"_

"I damn well wasn't, and you know it!" Leonard argued. " _She_ was kissing _me._ And _obviously_ she has also been waiting for that call from Lee, so she could continue the whole charade. And it was bought, hook, line and sinker! Anyone would think we were talking about you. I'm not the love 'em and leave 'em type, she should know that! Dammit Jim, I don't jump into bed with the first thing that comes along. I haven't been with another woman since the day I met her. We were sittin' across from Uhura and I didn't even notice her on the shuttle. You were there, you know as well as I do, there's only been one woman for me since that day, and it's her. It's always been her."

Jim nodded, suddenly feeling very tired. "I'm sorry man, I just… she was so sure, and she was hurt," he offered.

Leonard waved dismissively at his friend and flopped down on to the couch in front of the viewscreen. "It's okay, don't worry about it. Just tell me how we're gonna fix this. When do you get back to Earth? I'll come join you, we can talk it out."

Jim's face paled on the screen and Leonard looked up sharply. "What is it?"

"We're not coming back, Bones," came the reply. "We've been offered a position on _The Farragut,_ for the next three months. We break orbit tonight."

Leonard drained his ale and slammed the glass down on the table in front of him. "Of all the … blasted... " He sighed. "The _Farragut?_ The same _Farragut_ that is now on it's way Diotama III to investigate rumours of a Klingon secret base?"

"How do you know that?" Jim asked, looking surprised. Even he wasn't supposed to know, he'd overheard it on the bridge, and then had it confirmed by the Captain shortly after when he asked.

"I hear things, Jim," he said. "People talk. Especially when they come down with the Elevosian Flu on a stop over from Eviosa. I had the pleasure of doing a round at the Embassy, overheard more than I shoulda."

"Well, I'm sure we'll be fine, she's smart, as you know. I'm perfectly capable of navigating us to Diotama and back, sunshine."

Leonard scowled at the name."Don't you start, or I'll have you confined to med bay and tested for Thuros ringworm – a procedure I assure you isn't pleasant."

Jim pulled a face. "I'll take your word for it." He looked through the viewscreen at his friend who was slumped forward, his head in his hands.

"I'm a doctor, Jim, not a magician. I don't know how to fix things with that woman."

Jim looked at him contemplatively, frowned slightly and then shrugged. "You can't fix what wants to stay broken. She's got a lot to prove to herself, before she'll ever think she's good enough for anyone else. You know why she ran..."

"I never gave her any reason to think she wasn't good enough for me," Leonard argued.

"I know, but that doesn't mean she doesn't feel it anyway." Even as he said it, Leonard knew Jim was right. Anaya had always been running from the shadows of her father and brother, she was desperate to prove herself. The only problem with any of this was that she could put on a brave face, but she was insecure, she didn't trust Leonard to stay faithful, because she didn't truly believe she was good enough for him.

"I'm a tired old man, Jim," Leonard said with a sigh.

"You're not old, Bones," Jim replied. True, the doctor was a good decade older than him, but that had never seemed to bother any of them.

"Galloping around the cosmos is a game for young," Leonard said, pressing his fingers to his temples where a migraine was starting to form.

"...and you are coming with me," Jim grinned in reply.

"I'm not _galloping_ anywhere. This prize stud is going out to pasture," Leonard replied with a shake of his head. "Lee, she's the one you want on your boat when you get out there, just like she is now."

"And I'll have her, you too. You two think you can get away from me that easily? I'll draft the pair of you if you don't sort this out," Jim said, he smiled but that soon dropped from his face when he saw his friend's expression. "Listen, Leonard. You've got enough on your plate. Maybe you need to just let her have this, let her run. How long are you gonna be over there?"

Leonard sighed, shrugged. "Six… maybe another nine months," he said.

"We'll be back in three," Jim mused. "You know how you feel, and she feels the same way, Bones. I promise."

"Yeah well, fat lot of good that does me here," Leonard's voice was heavy with unhappiness.

"You can't fix this from Vulcan, not with that meddling ex-wife of yours around. Fix your daughter, she's what's important here. I'll talk to Lee , explain what happened."

Leonard nodded, let out a long sigh. "Yeah, okay, my friend. Let's just ride the wave for a while, huh?"

"Seems like the best thing to do."

"I hate surfing," Leonard lamented. "Almost as much as I hate roller coasters… which I hate more than flying."

"Good lord man, it's a miracle you get out of bed in the morning with that attitude. Come on, it's three months, give her some time to miss you." Jim was chuckling at the fully grown man, recalling the day they'd met, when Leonard had quoted prose at Lee about keeping his feet on the ground. Seemed to Jim that Leonard had done more travelling than most of them with this latest trip to Vulcan. Of course he, along with Lee, was now on their way to smashing that record.

"This better work, Jim."

"Hey, trust me! What could go wrong?"

"That's what I'm afraid of," Leonard muttered.

* * *

AN: Relatively short one, and no real interaction with McCoy and Lee, but that'll come. I needed to get us from A to B. Next up, I'm taking a page out of the TOS book, and looking at Kirk and Lee's first deep space mission on the Farragut together. Somewhere I read that in the AU Abrams version – perhaps in the comics – Kirk went on a few missions before th e movie. I'm going to be doing my take on the Tycho IV Dikironium Cloud Creature encounter! With a spin. Always with a spin.

Hope you're enjoying the story! Please leave a review :)


	5. Chapter 5 - The Farragut

**THE FARRAGUT**

* * *

 _Ya'aburnee (Arabic): "You bury me." It's a declaration of one's hope that they'll die before another person, because of how difficult it would be to live without them._

* * *

 **SIX MONTHS LATER**

 _ **Earth**_

Leonard held his breath and squeezed the edge of his seat under his knee as the shuttle lifted from the _Marionette_ that had just arrived in Earth's orbit. As the transport lurched forward, he closed his eyes and thought about anything other than the fact that it would take nothing more than a stray mini-asteroid freakishly appearing out of nowhere to zing straight through the hull of the shuttle, which had no real shields, and send them plummeting to their fiery deaths.

His return to Earth had been unexpected. He'd spent the last six months throwing himself into his work with Dr Korby. Together they had progressed Korby's theories, and started some therapies on Joanna and the other test subjects, thirty-three in total. The results had been mixed, especially with his daughter who failed to respond at all to the initial treatment. This had sent him into a spin, night and day working until he'd lost track of all time, and before he knew it, four months had passed.

Leonard had found himself staring at the viewscreen one day, subconsciously waiting to hear from Jim, and then received a notice that the Farragut had been commissioned to another three months in deep space. The last he'd heard they had been in the Tycho system. Until now.

Leonard had replayed the conversation in his mind over a hundred times on the sudden journey from Vulcan.

" _You need to get back here, now." Uhura's tone was not going to take an argument, even if he'd been inclined to question her judgment. "It's Jim…" For a moment her voice wavered, which frightened him more than anything: Uhura and Jim fought like cat and dog, so for her to be emotionally choked up, it was bad._

" _What's happened?"_

 _She had sent him the reports from the Farragut's last mission, he'd scanned it. 202 dead, another 152 near death. Jim was one of them, as was Captain Pike. When Leonard got to Lee's name, he noted she was alive and breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll be on the next vessel to Earth," he'd told Uhura, and then he'd sprung into action._

 _When the call had ended, he'd shoved a few essentials into a bag, headed for the lab to inform Korby that he was taking a leave of absence._

 _"Leonard, where are you going?" Jocelyn's voice rang out down the corridor from behind him, he rolled his eyes, turning to face her._

 _"Earth, as soon as I can, " he answered with a no-arguments look. They'd had a disagreeable relationship since he'd found out Jocelyn had been in his room and led Anaya to believe they were back together, the only reason he hadn't left altogether was their daughter._

 _"Why?"_

 _"Tell me how that is any of your business," he snapped and she crossed her arms, steel cold grey eyes glared at him._

 _"It's my business when my daughter is involved._ Our _daughter, Leonard." He blew out a hot breath, scrubbed a hand across his face._

 _"Joanna is fine, the newest treatments are starting to take effect, the neural damage is reversing itself - you know this. Roger can handle it," Leonard said. He turned, started to walk toward the door. "I gotta get back to Earth."_

 _"To what end?" The woman asked, starting to follow him. "What are you chasing? What good will it do for you to return to Earth now? In a few months, Roger assures me we can return to Earth, continue the trials there. But for now, Leonard you have work here, important work, to do. For Joanna."_

 _"_ This _is important! My best friend is on_ death's doorstep _, so excuse me if I want to go and see what can be done for him, if anything. I'll send for my things, and see you on Earth in two months."_

* * *

Uhura met him at the Starfleet Medical Hospital. This place had been a second home to him a year ago, now it felt stark and alien. For the first time he was on the other side, the family member, the friend who had a loved one in intensive care and was looking to the experts to save them.

"How is he?" Leonard asked when he saw her. Uhura looked at him with concern, noting his eyes were dark, tinged slightly red from fatigue as he hadn't slept since he'd gotten the news 36 hours earlier.

"Stable," Uhura said. He nodded and breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Stable was good. Stable could be improved, most of the time.

"What the hell happened out there?" His voice was low, and he leaned in to Uhura, moving as one through the corridors toward ICU.

"Reports are still sketchy, but preliminaries say they encountered a toxic gas near Tycho IV and it knocked out half the crew. Dead. Just like that."

"Toxic gas? What's the makeup? Why didn't the analytics pick up a toxin?" Leonard's medical mind was filled with more questions than answers, the forefront being the one he couldn't voice: _What are the survival chances?_

"Doctor, they arrived seventy-two hours ago, the crew is still very disoriented. Doctor Puri is leading the investigation with Starfleet HQ. If you're up for it, Captain Pike has asked you to assist in the interviews." Uhura led them to the left as they entered the secure area, Leonard looked around with a sinking heart. The ward was overcrowded, extra beds had been crammed into cubicles not designed to house more than one. Every single person in a bed was stationary, lying flat on their backs and hooked up to blood bags.

"Are the transfusions making a difference? Leonard asked.

"Minimally," Doctor Puri stepped in beside Leonard, removed his glasses and wiped them with a cloth. He took his time, Leonard and Uhura waited for the slightly built man to finish his task. "Welcome back Doctor McCoy, a shame it's not under better circumstances."

Leonard nodded, his brow furrowed in concentration. "Do we know what caused this?"

"The remaining crew, who are conscious, have been talking about a strange cloud, one that seemed to pick them off one by one. It makes no sense, I have called for psych evaluations on all of them. I don't know what happened out there at Tycho, but something has them scared."

"Symptoms?" Leonard asked, moving to stand at the foot of a young man. His skin was as white as snow, breathing shallow and labored.

"Severe haemoglobin deficiency. The dead had no red blood cells left in their body at all."

"What could do such a thing?" Leonard glanced at his colleague and mentor, running through possibly diagnoses in his head.

"Nothing I can think of," Puri noted as Leonard reached the same conclusion. He inclined his head toward another observation room. There were eight beds in this room, four more than it was supposed to accommodate. Leonard's step faltered when he saw the third bed.

"God, Jim," he muttered, stepping up beside his friend. Initially Jim seemed like he was resting, in need of a weekend at the beach, but a glance at his chart painted a very different picture to the doctor.

"This room has the crew who are responding best to treatment," Puri told Leonard and Uhura. Leonard turned to observe the other crewman on the beds, the wrinkles burrowing even deeper into his forehead.

"Well that ain't exactly a comfort, doctor," he said, walking down to stand beside bed five. "This man is dead."

* * *

Anaya had been confined to quarters for the last few days. If they had been her quarters it might have been a comfort, but along with the forty-seven remaining conscious crew, they had been moved to the psychiatric ward, and given _soothing_ white rooms, followed by hours of interviews. She lay, half-conscious, half-dreaming on her cot, the blinding white light overhead made it impossible to sleep outside of the designated sleeping hours unless you were beyond exhaustion.

" _What is that, Sir?" Jim's voice echoed through her mind. She'd turned to see a white vaporous cloud materialise before their very eyes on the screen._

" _Magnify," Captain Pike said to the helmsman, who responded but hitting a few buttons._

" _Magnified 2.0, sir." The cloud was no more distinguishable by the zoomed in effect. Pike sat up straighter in his chair, and suddenly the cloud was moving toward them._

" _Fire front phasers!" Pike ordered. Anaya's fingers twitched on the controls as she froze, watching the cloud reach the Farragut. "Fire, Cadet, now!" Thrust into action, Anaya aimed and fired. The blue light of the front phasers had no effect as the cloud continued to move smoothly over the hull of the ship._

" _Deflectors up," Pike ordered. "Secure all vents and hatches."_

" _Deflectors up," Anaya confirmed._

" _Captain, if you seal off the propulsion vents we run the risk of overheating the warp core," came Ensign Larudo's voice over the comm._

" _We'll just have to take that…" Pike's voice stopped and he stood up, sniffed the air._

" _Sir," Anaya said. "We have a red light on the number two impulse vent," she cut in. "It's inside the air ventilation shaft."_

" _Does anyone smell that?" Pike asked._

 _Anaya took in a deep breath, looked around - it was like she was standing in her grandmother's garden as a child - sweetness filled her nostrils, like a warm summer day with jasmine mixed in with honeysuckle. "I do, sir," she said. Her eyes widened as a fine white mist began to seep into the bridge through a vent._

" _Sir! We've been breeched!" Jim's voice sounded as if it was coming in slow motion, from a very far distance. Time started to stand still as the cloud moved toward Jim, enveloping him in it's vaporous mass._

" _Jim!" Anaya unholstered her phaser, pointed it at the cloud._

" _Wait, you could hit him!" First Officer Garrovick yelled. The second in command ran at the cloud, passing through and into the mass. She paused, watching in horror as the cloud separated for a moment, and then Jim was thrust out of it, hitting the floor unconscious. Garrovick cried out in distress as he became surrounded by the gas, and Pike yelled for engineering to reverse the air intake lines._

" _Jim!" Anaya called out, dropping beside her friend, feeling for and finding a weak pulse at his throat. Then the scent returned, and she looked up to see the a fine white mist all around her, the scent overwhelming in its intensity._

"Jim!" She sat up in a cold sweat, hair a tangled mess around her shoulders as she gasped for air, wiping the tears from her eyes. Turning to glare at the cameras that were monitoring her, she stood and started to pound on the door. "Let me out of here! I want to see a doctor! Where is Captain Pike! Jim?!"

* * *

"She's been sleeping for the last five hours, we had to sedate her," Doctor Holland reported to Leonard as he stood, looking in the one-way window at the young woman who he had yearned for with every cell in his body for the last six months.

"Can I sit with her?" Leonard asked, glancing over at the tall, dark-haired man. "She's a friend."

Holland shrugged and pressed a code into the door, Leonard waited for the clunk and hiss of the releasing mechanism to kick in. "I don't see that it will do any harm," he replied. "Maybe you can get some sense out of her when she wakes."

Leonard nodded, stepped into the room. It was softly lit from globes in the side of the wall. No windows, save the observation window which appeared as a mirror, gave any respite from the stark, whiteness of his surrounds. He had never seen how anyone could improve mentally in such as place - surely the monochrome surrounding would be enough to send him mad after a time, if he wasn't already. He wondered absently whether the same perception would be held by someone who wasn't in their right mind?

Pulling a chair up - padded of course - he took watch beside Anaya's bed, reaching out to gingerly take her pale, soft hand in his own. His palm and fingers dwarfed hers, and he pressed them to mirror his own, smiling sadly at the way they'd done that so long ago.

"C'mon Pumpkin, you gotta wake up and tell me what's goin' on here, don't go leavin' me now," he said softly, brushing the straight red strands of hair from her face. She didn't reply, and he released her hand, sitting back in the chair, watching.

* * *

Anaya woke to the feeling of being watched, instantly tensed like she had for the last few days. The cameras were always on, and only added to that feeling of observation, but this was different. Opening a single eyelid, she peeped out from one eye and then gasped, sitting up straight. Leonard was slumped down in the chair beside the bed, fast asleep. She raised her hands to her mouth, shook her head a few times, a variety of responses running through her head.

She went with one that was screaming the loudest in her head - _get closer, touch him, see that he was real_ ; scooting to the end of the bed, she swung her legs out from under the thermal blanket that had been placed over her. The floor felt cool under her bare feet, and she rubbed briskly at her arms, the cotton scrubs she was currently wearing didn't offer a lot of protection from spirit chills. The room itself wasn't cold, it was her soul.

Leonard looked as she remembered him from the day they'd first met. Not the clean-shaven, Starfleet recruit of the last few years, whom she'd grown to care for and make love to, but the gruff, unshaven, and slightly intoxicated doctor who had come aboard a shuttle cursing and hiding in bathrooms. She loved them both, but worried more about this one. The last six months looked to have taken their toll on him.

He stirred in his sleep, adjusting for the uncomfortableness of the chair. Anaya reached out a shaking hand, wondered if perhaps she was dreaming, or delirious. Maybe the cloud had finally caught up with her, pulled her into that never-ending slumber, and this was Heaven? Leonard's mouth fell open, and a snore escaped from deep in his throat, it startled him awake and hazel eyes shot open in the semi-darkness to see her hand extended mere inches from his face.

"Argh!" He cried out, jerking his head away, then, as she startled and moved away, he grabbed the hand and held it like it was a lifeline. "You're awake, thank god…you scared me half to death… again."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, eyes wide as she took him all in. Jim had relayed to her, months ago, about what had really happened during the birthday party. She didn't find that it eased the ache in her heart. No longer upset with Leonard, she was furious with Jocelyn, but more so with herself. She'd betrayed the one man she cared about, when she ran out of that house. She still didn't know if there was any atoning for it.

"How do you feel?" He asked, instantly falling into medical mode.

"Uh," Anaya's mind reeled to catch up with the sudden change in familiarity. "Anxious. Sad. Like someone hit me over the head with a sack of bricks."

Leonard smiled at the last statement. "Yeah, the sedative they gave you will do that to you, it'll pass, I'll get you some water."

"Why are you here?" She asked suddenly, a look of suspicion settling across her pale face.

"What sort of question is that?" Leonard asked, sitting forward. "I came as soon as I heard, Lee." He wanted to add in that nothing in the last six months had changed for him, his feelings were still as raw and true for her as they had been the day she'd boarded the _Farragut,_ but he held his tongue, the feelings flitting behind his eyes for a moment and then they were gone.

"Jim…" Her face paled, if that were possible. "Is he okay? Is he…?"

"He's fine," Leonard said, rising to place his hands on her shoulders, and push her back down on the bed when she tried to stand. "Well, he's stable. Fine might not be the best word, but he's not in any immediate danger."

"How do you know that?" Anaya asked suddenly. "That… thing… it could be here right now! We wouldn't even know it! It's smart, it's coming after us… it hungers for us. We're all in danger!" She sprung to her feet, even with Leonard holding her shoulders, stepping into his warm body and then looking up into his eyes, her hands coming to rest on his hips. "This is all my fault."

Leonard frowned, looking down at her resolute face. "Anaya, that's not true. This isn't your fault."

"Yes it is! I could have stopped it, I… I froze, Mac. I should have shot it, I was running security and I froze… if anything happens to Jim, it's on me. I take full responsibility."

Leonard stared down at her, saw the conviction in her eyes and grew discontent with what he was hearing.

* * *

"What is she talking about?" Leonard was sitting in a conference room in the psychiatric ward with Doctor Holland, Captain Pike, investigator Commander Goran, and another psychiatrist Doctor Amanim, from the planet Betazed. "From what I've seen of the reports so far, she did exactly as ordered. Why does she think this is her fault?"

"I have no such belief. In fact, I'm recommending that Ensign Lee is promoted, and awarded the Federation Star for Bravery. Given this is her first deep space appointment, she acted admirably in the face of adversity," Pike offered. Leonard wasn't surprised at all with the report, he wouldn't have expected Anaya to perform any other way.

"Why is she still being held?" Leonard asked, the question was clear, she had been deemed innocent of any wrongdoing, he should be able to take her home.

"I'm concerned for her mental health," Doctor Amanim. "I'd like to conduct some tests."

"What kind of tests?" Leonard tensed, instantly on edge. He didn't like the idea of anyone messing with Anaya's head. She was confused, upset, sure, but did she need to be poked and prodded like a test rat in a laboratory? He wasn't so sure.

"I have developed a method using sensory isolation and focused breathing to retrieve unconscious memories from a patient," Amanim said, Leonard turned to look the man over carefully.

"Is that why she's in that room?" He asked, pointing in the direction of where he knew Anaya was locked away. "You've been planning to experiment on her all along?!"

Commander Goran opened his mouth to speak, "Cadet McCoy…"

" _Doctor_ McCoy," Leonard corrected him. "I might be new to Starfleet, but you can bet your britches I was handing out diagnoses while you were still popping your first pimple, _Commander_."

"Doctor," Captain Pike pushed in, his voice was softer than the tones used by the others, sought to ease Leonard's suspicion. "No one means Miss Lee any harm, we know she's a good friend of yours, and Cadet Kirk's. My concern is that she is talking about leaving Starfleet."

"She's what?!" Leonard couldn't hold his tongue. "Is she out of her mind?"

"It would be a shame for Miss Lee to throw in all the hard work she has put in over the years because of this one incident. She has nothing to be ashamed of, she hasn't done anything different to any other officer on that bridge. I need her back on my ship, doctor, for her own good." Pike's eyes were understanding, his body language different to that of the investigator - who seemed more interested in pushing for answers about what happened aboard the _Farragut -_ and the psychiatrist who wanted to mess around in Anaya's head.

"I have received permission to do the testing," Amanim announced. "Cadet Lee is to undergo a series of sessions starting this afternoon. The question, doctor, is whether you are going to help me?"

"Help you?" Leonard asked incredulously. "Help you pry into the very thoughts and feelings, those things most private and dear to a good friend of mine? I'd be doing great disservice not only to her, but to that of my profession to pretend that this is all right. I don't know who funds you, or who you're getting your orders from, but I intend to take it further. Those crewman have been through enough, they've witnessed two _hundred_ of their fellow crewman killed, another hundred and fifty injured. Have some respect man, they're traumatised enough."

Amanim looked at Holland and then Pike, closed his file and crossed his hands deliberately and calmly in front of him on the table. "I told you this was a waste of time."

"What are you talking about?" Leonard asked, then it dawned on him, the erratic behaviour of Anaya, the fact that she was jumping at shadows, and had to be sedated when any normal person would have passed out from fatigue by now. "You've already tried…" he surmised, a scowl crossing his features. "You tried and she didn't give you what she wanted, she didn't cooperate."

The look Amanim shot him was answer enough. Leonard felt a surge of pride rush through him as he thought about Anaya and her stubbornness. Yes it had worked against him in the past, and there was a lot to repair, but at least she hadn't changed who she was.

"Doctor McCoy," Pike said, standing. "Walk with me, please."

The Captain limped out from behind the table. He was moving stiffly, and his skin was still rather pale, but not as bad as Jim or anyone else in intensive care. He led Leonard out of the room, where a conversation rose behind them, drowned out as soon as the door closed behind them. Pike stopped. "I know Lee means more than just a friend to you," Pike said, turning to look at the man. "I have pushed this as far as I can without causing discord in the ranks. Lee will be subjected to this testing, whether she agrees or not, and I can tell you right now that if she resists, they will tie her down. Do you really want that?"

"What is this, the dark ages? It sounds like the bloody Spanish Inquisition!" Leonard snapped, throwing his hand out to the side. "This is wrong, Captain."

"My concerns for Anaya are valid, she's a good cadet, one of my best. I would hate for her to throw away her career over something that isn't even real." Pike glanced sideways down the hall, looked as if he half expected to be followed. "I suggest you talk with her, Doctor. Get her to agree to the testing, satisfy Amanim's curiosity, whatever the Hell he is after, and make it go away."

"I'm hardly her favourite person right now Captain," Leonard said, raising his eyebrow. "I don't know how much she's gonna listen to what I have to say."

"You're more important than you think. She didn't ask for Kirk, or her family, or anyone else when she came to after the attack. The first person she wanted to talk to was you, McCoy. So get in there, and get her talking. And when you're done, I want a report on my desk within 24 hours."

"A report, Sir?"

"You know her best, Doctor. I want to get Lee back in the saddle as quickly as possible before she loses her nerve. She's not going to like it, but it's imperative that we do so. I've seen many a good pilot or technician grounded for much less. I want her back on duty, aboard the _Farragut,_ and on mission." Pike said. "But only if you're certain it won't damage her. I'm trusting you to know what's best for her."

"Dammit, I'm a doctor, not a psychiatrist," Leonard snapped, and then remember to whom he was talking, shifted uncomfortably until he was standing a little straighter. "Sorry, Sir."

Pike smiled, placed his hand on Leonard's shoulder. "Today you're both, Doctor McCoy."

Leonard nodded, crossing his arms over his chest and raising one hand to his chin, grasping it as he contemplated everything he'd learned in this meeting. Was it wise of them to bring him in on this task? He didn't know if he was the best choice, but from where Leonard was standing he was the only person conscious - Jim certainly couldn't - who might convince Anaya to cooperate. He thought long and hard on the fact that he now held her career in his hands, one small slice of the scalpel and he could ground her for life - keep her on Earth, near him. Leonard couldn't deny the attraction of that, but dismissed it almost as quickly as it came into his mind. Anaya was born to walk the stars, and by god if he was going to ground her it wouldn't be without good reason.

"Are you sure that you're ready to return to the chair yourself, Captain?" Leonard questioned, received a smile and a clap on the back.

"I've already passed my psych, doctor. I'm ready. I believe Lee is too - with some gentle reminders about what she is here to achieve. I'm leaving it in your capable hands, I want that report by the end of the week."

* * *

"How's Jim?" Anaya asked when Leonard entered her room. She was crouched, knees up to her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them, on the bed where she had been sleeping earlier.

"No change," Leonard sighed. "How are you?"

"Oh you know, fine," Anaya shrugged.

"You are not fine," he replied, pulling the chair closer and sitting in it. "Tell me what you remember."

Anaya hesitated, biting down on her lip. The light was hitting her hair in such a way that it looked like crimson halo around her pale face. Leonard had to restrain himself from reaching out and taking her in his arms like he had a dozen other times in the past.

"What's there to say? I nearly got Jim killed, Mac."

"You blame yourself," he reflected to her and she nodded.

"I delayed firing at it," she said, closing her eyes and resting her head back against the wall.

"You had a normal reaction, Lee. You were startled. The records show that you delayed firing for a grand total of two seconds," Leonard replied. He'd reviewed everything that had been caught on camera, read all the reports by Goram that had been released so far. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Anaya had done all she could to defend _The Farragut._

"If I hadn't delayed, it would have been killed," Anaya insisted. Leonard paused, watching her face.

"Captain Pike doesn't seem to think so. His log entry is quite clear on the subject," he looked down at the report in his hand. " _'Ensign Lee is a fine young officer who performed with uncommon bravery._ '"

"Mac, don't you get it? It killed two hundred crewman, many more might die!" Anaya said, looking up at him with tear filled eyes. "I could have killed that thing if I'd fired soon enough the first time."

"You can't know that, Lee," he replied. She shook her head, scooting forward on the bed and taking his hands in hers.

"I'm scared, Mac. I can't help how I feel, there's an intelligence about it, a malevolence. It's evil. It must be destroyed."

Leonard watched her eyes, saw the way they didn't waver. She believed everything she was saying. "How can you know it's even sentient?" He asked.

"I…" she hesitated. "When it attacked Jim, and Commander Garrovick intervened, the thing came after the rest of us. I could _feel it,_ Mac. As I lost consciousness, I could feel the intelligence of the thing. I could sense it thinking, planning. I knew it would kill us all."

"You're here, though. You state that it happened just as you lost consciousness," Leonard said, and she nodded her confirmation. He held her hands in his, glanced down at them and then squeezed as he looked up. "A semiconscious mind is a tricky thing, Anaya. You can never know how much is real, and or how much is imagination."

"I'm not making this up, Mac," she whispered. "I know what I saw."

" _Like you know what you saw the day of the party?"_ He nearly asked, feeling ashamed of himself almost instantly for even considering bringing their personal life into the evaluation. Leonard bit down on his lip, then looked back into her eyes.

"There's a psychiatrist here…"

"Aminam," she sneered, clearly unimpressed. "Mind butcher."

"He's got permission to subject you to questioning, Anaya. With or without your cooperation," he let his concern flood through his voice as he leaned in to her.

"This is crazy, Mac. How can they? What gives them the right?" She asked, shaking her head. She dropped his hands and wrapped her arms around her body, hugging herself.

"I don't know, and I will look into this, I swear. But Lee, you gotta listen to me. I know I'm the last person you want to trust here, but I am on your side," Leonard said, lifting a hand to cup her cheek. "Give him what he wants, I will be right there with you, and then let's get you out of this freak show."

Anaya's eyes locked with his, scared and uncertain. She bit down on her lip, contemplating everything that he said, knowing that he would not push her without reason. "You'll be there?" She asked.

"Every second," he promised. Anaya felt the encroaching walls recede just a small amount with the presence of Leonard. She had to get out of here, return her dorm, get her things. The only way she was getting out of here, was to cooperate. Reaching out a hand, she caressed Leonard's left cheek, letting her fingers trail across the rough stubble on the surface.

"That shave isn't regulation, doctor," she smirked, catching a smile from the over tired physician.

"Yeah, well, regulation ain't the top of my priorities right now, Pumpkin," he said softly. Anaya's reaction wasn't what he expected to the nickname. He'd been hoping to soften her, but instead her facial expression changed and he watched her recede behind a cold, collected poker face.

Anaya was thinking about how Leonard needed to return to Vulcan, to his responsibilities of his daughter, and that he was here for nothing more than to ensure that she and Jim were going to survive their ordeal. She couldn't afford to get attached, not now, not again. It had been six torturous months without him, but she had weathered the storm, coming out the other side. Falling for the doctor's southern charm and warmth was insanity, and destined for heartache.

"Tell him I accept, then I want to go home, I'm done with Starfleet" she said, pulling back on to the bed. Leonard sighed, standing to walk back toward the door.

"And Mac?" He turned at her hopeful tone. "I want to see Jim."

* * *

The _inquisition_ as Leonard had called it, went as well as could be expected. Anaya was subjected to sensory deprivation of sight, and sound. First it seemed as if there was no correlation to the events of the _Farragut,_ and the questions she was subjected to. Anaya spent the next hour answering queries into her emotional state, her family, whether she had a personal relationship and whether that person was in Starfleet. Leonard had interrupted at that point, wanting to know what that had to do with anything.

"Ensign Lee has a very strong bond with Ensign Kirk, it's only logical that she might hesitate in the line of duty if he were in danger."

"What are you Vulcan? Don't be ridiculous man!" Leonard snapped. "You're not Starfleet, I get it. We all have those bonds, it happens after years of coming up through the ranks together. Heck, I'd hesitate sooner than Lee, if Kirk were in danger. It doesn't prove there's a relationship, or even if there was, that it is detrimental to her position."

Anaya glared at the psychiatrist. "Did you ask Captain Pike about his personal relationships, or is this just for the women? Because they are incapable of managing their emotions?" Leonard nodded that he was thinking along the same, sexist lines, and waved a hand in her direction.

"She raises a good point, _doctor."_ He was livid, the fury he felt barely contained beneath a calm exterior. Aminam quickly retreated on the question, changed his tactics and moved on to the events on the _Farragut_ specifically.

Anaya was sent into a meditative state, and then Aminam pulled a cruel stunt. He had the room filled with a sweet gas, one that mimicked the scent the survivors had reported smelling before the attack.

Anaya panicked when she first smelled it, pulling the mask she was wearing over her eyes from her face, and looking around urgently. "Don't you smell that?" She asked, when the psychiatrist didn't move. "How can you not smell it? It's sickly sweet… like honey washing over us." She stood up, paced the room and Leonard frowned from his position in the corner. "Mac, we need to get out of here!"

"What are you seeing, Anaya?" Aminam's voice sounded through the darkened room.

"What?" Anaya asked, turning on him, looking at the doctor, yet not really seeing him. Her mind was filled with the faces of the bridge crew as the white cloud creature attacked.. "What are you talking about? We are _all going to die!"_ Aminam gestured toward two orderlies who flanked the woman either side, escorting her back to the lounge she'd been reclining on.

"It's part of the sensory testing, Anaya. To trigger your memories. Describe what you are seeing," he provoked and she sucked in a deep breath, pulling in on herself and closing her eyes.

"White cloud, so thick you can't see through it. So evil you cannot escape it. It hunted us down, one by one, and God knows why it didn't kill us all. Maybe because it had it's fill on the lower decks before finding its way to the Bridge, maybe we just got lucky - I don't know. But that _thing_ was deliberate, it was there to kill. Why won't anyone believe me?!" She sprung to her feet, ran at the wall with a frustrated cry, beating at the door. "Let me out of here!" She whimpered in pain as a crunching sound of the wall giving slightly - that or her finger Leonard thought - echoed through the room.

"Anaya!" Leonard jumped up, taking her in his arms, she fell into his chest, sobbing and wrapping her arms tightly around him. Aminam watched her thoughtfully, detached as if he wasn't even hearing what she was saying.

"Interesting," he commented. Leonard stared daggers at the man.

"I think this is over, Doctor," he said. "She doesn't know anything more."

A short time later, when she'd calmed down, Leonard took Anaya to the intensive care. Jim's colouring was starting to return to his cheeks, his vitals had improved, and there was an optimistic belief, between Doctor Puri and his colleagues, that Jim was going to wake up. Leonard sat with his two best friends in the whole Universe, and felt like a stranger to them. His pain was so great that he turned inward, thinking about what had to come next, trying to push from his mind that the very woman he'd been pining for all this time was sitting on the other side of Jim's bed, holding his hand.

Leonard wanted nothing more than to reach out, take her away from all this. Beg her to forgive him for not coming sooner and setting the record straight. Yet he didn't. He thought for a moment about how it was fortunate, almost pre-destined, that they'd had that misunderstanding at the party - and that Joanna had been so sick that Jocelyn had already pulled him from the duty roster when Captain Pike called on cadets to fill his crew. Leonard could have easily been on the ship with them during the cloud attack without such a major intervention. Surely the odds of all three of them having pulled through would have been infinitesimal. He didn't want to think about what might have happened.

Instead he turned his thoughts to Anaya, and how she was like a tightly wound coil ready to spring. She was to running. It was within his power to ensure that she didn't. He could do what she wouldn't, he could make the decision of forgiving her for her actions - even when she couldn't grant herself the same mercy.

* * *

 _ **3 days later**_

Anaya ran through the corridors of the hospital, looking for her target. "Computer, where is Doctor McCoy?!" She said angrily, waited for the response to tell her that he was in the recovery room. She bolted along the grey linoleum floors, eyes flicking from left to right in search of her prey. As she rounded the screen in front of her she stopped. There, sitting in front of her, was Jim - awake - and next to him, laughing raucously at a joke was Leonard.

"How could you?" She snapped, drawing attention from them both, and a questioning look from Jim. She walked forward, slapping the report from Leonard down on the table that spanned the width of the bed. The pfft sound it made echoed through the room, and Leonard glanced around at the other patients, most of whom were sleeping, three others had awoken at the same time as Jim.

Anaya seemed less concerned for them, frowning at him with icy cold blue eyes. "You had me reassigned to the _Farragut._ You're sending me offworld!"

"Lee, there's a good reason…"

"What?" She asked, throwing her hand in the air. "That your wife and daughter are heading back to Earth in a few months? That it'll be _easier_ for you to have me out of your way?"

"Lee, even I can see that's ridiculous," Jim cut in and she held up a hand to their friend's face. Leonard scowled at the childish behaviour, rolling his eyes at Anaya.

"He's right," Leonard backed up Jim. "I no more have feelings for Jocelyn than I do a ...a..."

"A Space Amoeba!" Jim chimed in. Leonard stopped mid-rant and looked incredulously at the smiling man.

"Uh, thank you Jim," he turned to Anaya with the same look they'd shared many times over something crazy Jim had said - he received no matching expression. "A space amoeba," Leonard finished, slightly thrown. He stepped around the end of Jim's bed, turning her to face him. "I did this for you, Lee."

"I don't want this," she whispered. "I can't go back out there, Mac. I can't … it's too dangerous. You said it yourself… space, it's cold, and dangerous, all wrapped up in darkness and silence. I should never had gone out there, I know that now."

"That's nonsense, are you out of your plant lovin' mind?!" Leonard's voice was harried, but gentle. "I'm sending you back out there because _you need to do this._ " He squeezed her shoulders in his hands, his heart pounding as he sought her understanding. "Pike asked me to write a medical evaluation on you, and I did."

"Whoa, Bones," Jim said. "You're not exactly a psychiatrist."

"Thanks for the support here, Jim," Leonard glowered at their friend before he turned back to Anaya who was silently shaking beneath his grip. "I'm not, but anyone can see that there's nothing wrong physically with you, Lee. You're just scared." Leonard said, looking to Jim for backup, who this time mercifully kept his mouth shut and opted to nod.

"Of course I'm scared," Lee said irately, stepping back and breaking free of his hold. Leonard groaned in frustration, crossing one arm over the other. Jim observed the pair, catching on quickly to what Leonard had intended with his report.

"You don't do this now, you may never do it again," Jim said. Anaya laughed in amusement.

"Jim, I don't want to do it again."

"Well, we're not letting you make that call," Leonard said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Pike wants you out there, you leave in the morning."

"I'll resign my commission," Anaya threatened.

"You better not!" Leonard reproached.

Jim reached out to take Anaya's hand from where he was sitting. She turned to look at him, her chest heaving from the panic attack that was threatening to overtake her.

"Kitten, we will be right here when you get back," he said gently. "You can do this."

"And what makes you think I want to see you, either of you, when I get back?!" Anaya snapped, pulling her hand back. "Friends don't hang their friends out to dry."

"We're not, and you know it," Leonard's voice softened, he looked at her with sad eyes.

"I can't believe you did this to me…" She ran for the door, not hearing either of her friends as they called her name. The last few weeks had been pure Hell. All she could see when she closed her eyes was that cloud of… whatever it was. The creature. It haunted her dreams, and she knew beyond a doubt that she'd gotten the crew killed. She wasn't fit to run security at a local uranium mine, let alone anywhere else. She slowed her gait to a fast walk as soon as she hit the exit, blinking a few times to take in the sunlight.

"Lee!" Uhura's voice called to her, stopping the young woman dead in her tracks. Turning she looked at the communications major and mustered up a smile.

"Uhura, hi," she offered lamely, as the young cadet came skipping up to her. She was dressed in their regulation uniform, a red tunic dress, and black boots. Anaya preferred to pair opaque black tights with her uniform, found the whole feminine skirt thing a little impractical for security, this didn't seem such an issue for the bridge crew, or medical bay.

"Did you see Jim? How is he today?" Uhura asked. Anaya nodded, ran a hand through her hair to straighten it.

"He's fine, I guess."

"You guess?" Uhura asked curiously. "Isn't that where you're coming from?"

"Uh, yeah. But we didn't really talk about him,' Anaya confessed, looking guiltily down at her hands. "McCoy had me re-assigned to the _Farragut._ I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Wow," Uhura breathed. "How do you feel about that?"

"You know, you're the first person who's asked me that?" Anaya sniffed. "Mac, he just… made the decision with barely even talking to me."

"That's not like him," Uhura defended the doctor. Anaya sighed, looking defeated. Uhura's keen observation noted the stance of her companion and she nodded, her long black ponytail bobbing up and down. "Come with me, there's someone I'd like you to meet." Uhura took her hand and smiled, tugged the young cadet toward the Academy tactical training rooms.

* * *

"Bones, didn't I tell you to stop screwing things up with her?" Jim asked, frowning at his friend as Anaya left the building.

"Dammit man, I'm not a miracle worker!" Leonard signed, sunk into the chair beside Jim's bed and ran a hand across tired eyes. "It was the only way she would stay in Starfleet, Jim. Maybe she's not ready - true, but I need her to be, _we_ need her to be, because I can't imagine a life in Starfleet without her, and neither can you."

Jim nodded his agreement. "Yeah. Okay, you're right. You did the right thing."

"That's if she'll come with us now," Leonard sighed with a heaviness to his chest. "I hope I've done the right thing."

"My mother always said, 'if you love someone, let them go, if they love you they'll come back'," Jim mused. Leonard found that curious, coming from Jim - the love them and leave them class jock that nearly every girl was throwing herself at.. He thought wryly that he and Anaya had already gone through that test, what did it mean that he was sending her away again? Did he not know this was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with? Would it not have been more prudent to ground her, keep her with him? Work on fixing their relationship?

Yes.

But he knew, as did Jim, that the woman with her feet planted firmly on terra firma wouldn't be Anaya, she would be a slim shadow of who she'd once been. He only hoped Pike knew what he was doing, and would help her find herself again.

* * *

Anaya watched the unfolding Kobayashi Maru scenario in front of her from the instructor's observation deck. There was a tall Vulcan, half Vulcan she surmised when he turned and she saw his eyes, testing some sequences in the room. Uhura hit a button and the mirrored surface shimmered to clear glass, catching his attention. She raised a hand and smiled, he returned the gesture albeit a little more stiffly. Uhura shrugged when she looked at Anaya. "Vulcans. He's impossible to read sometimes, but I assure you, he can help."

"Help with what, exactly?" Anaya asked.

"Controlling your fear," she said.

"What makes you think I need that?"

Uhura raised a thin eyebrow at her, and Anaya laughed. "Yeah, okay," she admitted. "I'm terrified, how can I go out there after everything that has happened? I can't just pretend it didn't happen. My hands shake at the thought of it. I can't do my job if all I think about it that… that… _thing_ enveloping Jim, and Commander Garrovick."

"Good afternoon ladies," the Vulcan had joined them on the upper deck of the simulator, looking at them curiously.

"Spock," Uhura smiled. "I'd like you to meet Ensign Lee, she is about to return to duty on _The Farragut."_ Anaya waved her fingers lightly at him and he inclined his head.

"Ensign," he said quietly. "I trust you're well rested and ready to continue your journey?"

"That's...why we're here," Uhura said, turning to him. "We need your help."

A short time later Anaya found herself in a quiet office with Spock and Uhura, sitting upright in a comfortable armchair, her hands resting lightly on her thighs.

"Ensign, you are allowing your fears to guide you. You must learn to exercise control over your own imagination." Spock said from a twin chair, sitting opposite her. Uhura perched behind him, a hand resting on his shoulder, Anaya curiously noted their familiarity with each other, smiling slightly when the man didn't shake Uhura's touch off.

"Easier said than done, Mr Spock," Anaya replied grimly. "And please, call me Lee, everyone else does."

"Lee, very well. Tell me about this creature you encountered on Tycho IV."

Anaya shuddered at the thought, closed her eyes. "It was… evil, moved with intent, picking us off one by one. And the smell…"

"Do you think you will encounter it again, if you were to return to _The Farragut?"_

"Yes. Maybe. How do we know it's gone from the ship?"

"The return of this creature is one possibility," Spock conceded. "However, your emotional reactions are preventing you from accurately judging how unlikely this is to be true."

"I can't help it, I'm still scared," Anaya whispered.

"You are perfectly capable of helping it," Spock said. "Vulcan children learn to detach themselves from their emotions at an early age."

"Well I'm not Vulcan!"

"Just the same, you have the intelligence and capability to purge your emotions relating to this encounter." Spock replied without any hint of frustration, judgment or other emotion. Anaya marveled at the permanent state of serenity surrounding the tactical officer.

"How?"

"First, focus on the object of your fear," Spock said. Anaya frowned, seeing a different image flash into her mind's eye as he said fear: one of Leonard walking away from her, and she standing alone, never to see him again.

"My fear?"

"Yes, the creature you saw at Tycho IV," Spock supplied. Anaya nodded.

"Right."

"Picture this creature in your mind. The image will be accompanied by an emotional response. Describe this to me," Spock continued. Anaya closed her eyes on the two in front of her, focused not on the cloud creature from _The Farragut,_ but instead on the image of losing Leonard.

"My stomach is tied up in knots. I feel like I want to run, but my feet are stuck to the ground," she replied.

The room seemed to close in on her as she zeroed in on her emotions. There was more that she didn't speak: it felt like her heart might break in two, like she would rather die than see Leonard come to harm or death.

"If you could see this fear in physical form, what would it look like?" Spock asked. She saw a flash of red hair, Jocelyn, as she moved in and turned into a red vaporous cloud that surrounded Leonard. Anaya swallowed hard as she started to see him fade from sight.

"Red… a dark cloud."

"Then imagine a strong wind pushing away that cloud. Watch as your fear grows more distant," Spock instructed. Anaya took a deep breath, imagined it was a fierce wind as she exhaled it, watched as the effect played out in her mind and started to blow away the darkness surrounding Leonard. "It is no longer a part of you," Spoke continued in a monotone voice. "Once you start to detach yourself from your emotional response, you come closer to controlling them. Eventually, if you chose to continue with this practice, they would be eliminated from you altogether."

Anaya opened her eyes, feeling her stomach relax. She did feel better, had started to as soon as Leonard's face had returned to her. She nodded at Spock in gratitude, a slight smile touching her face. "Do you live your whole life without emotion?" She asked.

Spock paused, inclined his head. "More accurately we strive to control our feelings."

"Do you ever get scared?"

Uhura was watching him intently, clearly interested in the answer. Spock turned his head slightly to his right, looking at the hand on his shoulder. "No," he replied.

"Never?"

"Emotions defy logic," he said. "To abscond logic would be… illogical." Anaya smirked, shaking her head at him. She liked him instantly. There was more to this half-Vulcan than met the eye, she was sure of it. Uhura would not be sticking around for an emotionless drone.

"Thank you," she said honestly. "I feel better. I think I'll utilise this some more, I'm sure it'll be of use with my work."

"You're going to go with Captain Pike?" Uhura asked. Anaya nodded and let out of a short breath.

"Starfleet is an honourable career. You have, presumably, put in years of study and work. It would be illogical to give it up over one incident," Spock chimed in. Anaya didn't like it, but he was right. Jim and Leonard were correct in their judgment of her. She sighed, nodded.

"I think I need to go and apologise to Mac," she said softly.

"First, you need to eat," Uhura stated. "We all do. Join us for dinner?"

* * *

It was morning before Anaya worked up the courage to eat humble pie. The hospital was a flurry of activity as she moved through the corridors to find Leonard.

"Nurse, what's going on?" Anaya asked as a harried looking blonde rushed past her.

"The _Farragut_ crew," she said quickly, walking as Anaya followed. "They're crashing," she replied. "Those who aren't awake, it's as if their bodies are shutting down." Anaya froze, and was back on the bridge again, the white cloud, now tinged red with the blood of over two hundred people pressed in around her. She stopped walking.

"Where is Doctor McCoy?" She called out to the nurse's retreating back.

She didn't get a reply. Another alarm sounded, along with an announcement over the PA system for all doctors and medical staff to attend at the intensive care ward. Anaya stifled a sob as a group of medical students pushed past her, talking rapidly among themselves.

"Isn't it terrible?" Said one.

"The worst! Could you imagine? Only thirty-nine have awoken from their comas, that's less than a hundred survivors!"

"Which isn't even a quarter of the whole crew," another pointed out.

She didn't know what pushed her to do so, but Anaya followed as they turned right down a corridor,and listened in on the continuing conversation which was breaking about three different Starfleet regulations that she could pinpoint off the top of her head. Anaya made a mental note to speak with Doctor Puri first chance she could about his students and their lack of discretion and privacy - for now, she used it.

"Some of the crew is returning to _The Farragut_ today," the original nurse whispered.

"I wouldn't be going back out there _ever again,"_ stated a short doctor as she adjusted some settings on her tricorder.

"That would be illogical, Kate," stated a young male who had pressed the button for the lifts which would take them to the isolation ward.

"Oooh, someone has been listening to _Instructor Spock,"_ laughed one of the girls and the young man turned bright red.

"Well it _is true,"_ he said. "There is danger anywhere we go, even right here. Or are you forgetting that outbreak of Rigellian Fever not long ago?" The women bobbed her head and the tension of the group went up a notch as they murmured among themselves.

"Therefore," the man continued as the doors opened and they stepped on to the lift. "It is only logical that one would learn to control their fear, and not have it control them. And continue to do their jobs in honour of those lives lost." The door closed and Anaya stood staring at the shiny chrome for a moment.

Her mouth twitched as she thought about all the crew upstairs, fighting for their lives. The cadet was correct, how could she throw away everything she'd worked for, _everything the dead had fought for,_ over her own guilt?

" _Oftentimes the biggest monster chasing us is guilt."_ Leonard had said this to her only a few days ago. With a nod to no one in particular, she pushed the fear from her mind, turning on her heel, and melted into the busy corridors as she moved toward the sunshine.

Sunshine.

It would be months before she might feel it on her face again. As she turned toward the shuttle dock she looked down at her hands. Ready or not, she had to do this. Jim was right, they'd be here when she got back. Straightening her shoulders, Anaya started a brisk jog toward the shuttle that would carry her up to the _Farragut,_ in her wake she left behind the red cloud of doubt and fear, thinking instead of the stars and the journey to come.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

This was a bit of TOS and a smidgeon of Voyager woven in with my own take on the events aboard the _Farragut._ Next we move into the movie, which I'm looking forward to adapting with Lee in it :)

Thank you everyone who has taken the time to leave a review, or send me a PM, it's always great to get encouragement.

I will go back and fix the age thing with Joanna, I was humming and haa'ing over the age at one point which has led to the confusion. Also, yes, Jocelyn is a right royal bitch - I'm playing around with a possible role for her in _Into Darkness_ which might make things interesting for _Beyond_ (which I still HAVEN'T SEEN because I missed it when it was out in theatres here :( :( :( ) Just need to sit with that for a little while.

For my Supernatural readers: I _promise_ there's an update not too far away. The difference is that I write up _entire episodes_ into one chapter for that. Which is more like 20K-30K words per chapter, while these are considerably shorter. I am not abandoning Dean and Beth, all is well. I'm just also in the middle of final assessments for my term, and moving in a few weeks so packing packing packing - still aiming for a new chapter to _Between Heaven and Hell_ in the next few weeks.


	6. Chapter 6 - Reunion

**AN:** We start the movie now :) Parts will be skipped if I can't find a way to tell it from Leonard or Anaya's POV. This is their story, as seen by them.

* * *

 **10 MONTHS LATER**

* * *

 _Retrouvailles (French): The happiness of meeting again after a long time._

* * *

 **REUNION**

 **Vulcan**

Anaya circled around her sparring partner, crouched low in the defensive pose as he pulled a sword. She raised her eyebrow at the Vulcan, he was perfectly calm, in complete control. He watched her, curious as to her reaction. His dark eyes took in her stance, feet wide, body well balanced, hands in front of her and ready to strike or defend.

"What is your heart rate now, Lieutenant?" Sedok asked. She refused to give him any further satisfaction, past the amused glance she had already thrown him.

"Steady," Anaya replied.

"Interesting," he quipped.

"Hardly," she retorted. Lifting her chin, she threw a challenging look at him, and he smirked.

"Pride…" he said, as he stepped forward. "Is still an emotion, and a weakness, Miss Lee." He swung his arm around with the sword, and she jumped to the side, rolling at the last moment to avoid the arc of the blade which breezed past her back. She threw herself to her feet, landed a quick punch to Sedok's kidneys, then kicked his knee forward so that he fell to the floor. Swiftly, she disarmed him, turned his own blade and pressed it to his throat.

"Then perhaps you should work on releasing that, Mr Sedok," she said quietly as he knelt on the floor of the training room, breathing hard. Anaya felt the muscles in her arm start to tremble, but hid it from her opponent: he would never know from her, how close he'd come to overpowering her and winning the spar. She'd spent three months here, training in the Vulcan martial arts of Suus Mahna, she was by no means an expert - it took many years to master, but Anaya felt that she had progressed well in the time she had been here. Captain Pike's suggestion to focus her anger into self-defense and hand-to-hand combat had been a good one.

Without warning, light flooded the training room and she blinked. It was long enough for Sedok to retaliate. He sliced his arm upwards, taking the blade with the movement of his hand as he rolled his throat away from the sword. He disarmed her with a flick of a wrist, and Anaya found herself looking down at the tip of the weapon, pressed into her chest where her heart lay.

"Surprise will get you killed," Sedok said. She swallowed, looked him in the eyes and saw no reproach. He was teaching, not being condescending. Anaya nodded, feeling the fatigue of the session wash over her, a couple of beads of sweat running down the side of her face.

"Thank you, sir," she said with gratitude. She brought her hands up, took a step back and joined them mere inches away from the blade in a prayer like gesture, bowing to Sedok. When she looked up, he nodded, dropped the sword to his side and turned.

"You may come in, Captain Pike," Sedok called out, and the door to the training room opened, revealing the older man on the other side.

"Mr Sedok," the Captain smiled casually at him. "I hope you haven't been damaging one of my star cadets?"

"Quite the contrary, Captain. Lieutenant Lee has come quite close to beating me, today."

"You're too kind, Mr Sedok," Anaya said, dropping her head to look at her feet. "My success was purely due to your letting me win."

The Captain smirked, and stepped closer. "I do not believe Mr Sedok would give you a false sense of achievement like that. You should learn to take a compliment, Lieutenant."

Anaya smiled, nodded slightly, and then looked up at the Captain. She saw a sparkle in his eye, became curious almost immediately. "What is it, Captain?"

"How would you like to return to Earth?" He asked. Anaya felt her heart skip a beat at the question. She had been working hard and releasing emotions that were detrimental to her work in the last six months, however nothing could have prepared her for the mix of feelings rushing through her now. Anger, pain, love, joy, guilt… anxiety.

"Might I enquire as to why?" She asked, and he shook his head in amusement.

"Time to check on our favourite upcoming Starfleet captain, I think," he replied and she did feel excitement then. It had been months since she'd seen Jim, close to six now that she thought about it. She'd spent an afternoon with him at the Botanical Gardens talking about their training during a return to Starfleet Headquarters in the Summer. She hadn't seen Leonard at all, he'd been away on a medical aid mission to Ktaris at the time. She didn't know if she felt relieved or disappointed. She knew this time, that she would go out of her way to encounter him. To set things right.

"Walk with me," Captain Pike said, and they both bowed respectfully to Sedok who nodded and turned toward the other entrance to the room. Together, Pike and Anaya stepped into the corridors, and she could see that he was leading them back to the shuttle docks.

"I'm be reassigned," he said, she looked up at him in alarm. Reading her panic he chuckled, shaking his head. "Relax, Anaya, I'm taking you with me. How would you feel about heading up Security… on The Enterprise?" Anaya gaped at him, felt her feet start to falter in their strides.

"Me? Sir? I...uh… are you sure?" She managed to sputter out, and Pike nodded, tossed her a smile.

"I thought you'd like that. I'm bringing on a new crew." He paused. "Kirk and McCoy will be among them." Anaya hid her reaction behind the well trained mask she'd been working on with the Vulcans. She inclined her head, and continued to walk. Perhaps it wouldn't be so long before she saw Leonard after all.

* * *

 **Earth**

 **Starfleet Academy**

It was a beautiful day, that's how Leonard knew that something was going to go wrong. He clasped his med kit in one hand, blinked rapidly as he and Jim moved from the darker interior of their last class on Early Starfleet History, and down the stairs into the brightness of the afternoon.

"Why are you so happy?" Leonard asked of his friend as Jim turned to look at a couple of female cadets.

I don't know what you're talking about," Jim replied as he locked eyes with one of the women. Leonard scowled, shook his head.

"No, I don't suppose you do," he commented as the girl blushed from Jim's stare. As they passed the two men, Jim turned his wide, bright eyes and threw her his best pick-up smile

"Hello, ladies," He said. Leonard kept walking, so he was quickly forced to leave the flirting for later. It didn't matter, he surmised, he was off to meet Gaila for an afternoon interlude, and then he was going to execute his plan. Jim turned to Leonard, excitement in his voice.

"I'm taking the test again," he announced.

Leonard's eyes widened in disbelief as he kept walking across the well-manicured lawn of the Academy. "You gotta be kiddin' me," he said. This wasn't the first time Jim had come up with a new plan to get his Captaincy fast tracked, the only thing was that Jim was the only person who didn't see himself failing at it… again. Leonard continued his walk across the compound, intent on getting back to the Hospital where he had a surgery scheduled.

"Yeah, tomorrow morning, and I want you there," Jim said, skipping a bit to keep up with the doctor's harried pace.

Leonard's brows furrowed into displeasure at Jim's stubbornness. "You know, I've got better things to do than to watch you embarrass yourself for a third time," he said. " I'm a doctor, Jim, I'm busy."

Jim wouldn't be deterred, he jumped in front of Leonard and placed his hand on the man's left shoulder, bringing him to a stop. "Bones, it doesn't bother you that no one's ever passed the test?" He asked.

Leonard growled, narrowed his eyes at his overenthusiastic roommate. "Jim, it's the Kobayashi Maru. No one passes the test, and no one goes back for seconds, let alone thirds." He realised it was simply Sisyphean to lecture the man - Jim had clearly made up his mind and that was all there was to it. His friend was looking expectantly at him, he sighed and barely nodded, giving him the answer he wanted to hear: he would be there for the test.

With a big smile, Jim clapped him on the shoulder, his eyes falling to the legs of yet another new cadet. "I got to study," Jim said and Leonard snorted, watching as the young man started to jog across the green grass to meet up with a green-skinned Orion girl. Leonard knew her name to be Gaila, and she was a computer tech, but other than that Jim had been rather silent about his involvement with her; but then, sometimes a cigar was just a cigar, and Jim wasn't known for his deep and meaningful relationships.

"Study my ass," he said to no one in particular. He watched as Jim moved across the compound, his shoulders squared, a pleased spring to his gait, and felt a twinge of jealousy. It was true, both he and Jim had achieved a lot in the last year - it had not been without some cost. He found himself, not for the first time, wishing Anaya were there with them to at least provide another perspective. He was at a loss on what to do about Jim's no-holds-barred, full forward thrusters and warp six projection at getting his own ship. It was obsessive; Leonard worried it was going to get him killed if he succeeded.

He had enough to worry about, what with his studies, and then his daughter's slow, but not radically positive response to the treatments Dr Korby and he had implemented. His biggest worry was Anaya traversing the stars with Captain Pike. He felt himself strangely incomplete without her, and the fact that they'd yet to reconcile on the way he'd reassigned her to The Farragut weighed heavily on his chest.

* * *

 **Later That Night  
Jim & Leonard's Dormroom**

Leonard had settled into the evening with a book, a classic from the twenty first century. _The Anatomy of Deception_ was a mesmerising thriller, that had drawn him into the operating rooms and back alleys of 1880s Philadelphia for the last few days. He was cringing at the barbarity, of what was a routine medical procedure in the nineteenth century, when Jim came bursting through their door, carrying a six-pack of beer.

"Bones! You're here?" He grinned and Leonard looked at him with a quizzical expression.

"Yes I'm here, where else would I be at…" Leonard paused to look at the clock on his nightstand, continued, "ten o'clock at night, Jim?"

"Huh," Jim said, shrugging. "True. You know, you used to be gone a lot more when Lee was around," he said without any care whatsoever. Leonard frowned, turned off his datapad and placed it beside him on the bed.

"Yes, well, I had better things to be doing when she was around," Leonard scowled.

"We gotta get you a girl," Jim slurred, holding out a beer to his friend, which was hesitantly accepted. Leonard opened it and took a sip as Jim flopped down on his bed. The two men were as different as night was day. Jim's side, which was clearly defined by the duct tape that ran the length of the room down the centre, was a mess. Dirty clothes sat in piles on the floor, the bed was unmade, his books stacked haphazardly on a desk that seemed to bear the weight of the world in empty caffeine cups, and discarded candy wrappers. Leonard's room was neatly staged; a place for everything and everything in its place. His favourite part of the room was the shelving unit he'd installed at the head of his bed, and Anaya had decked out in succulents - she'd done the same for Jim too, stating that he needed more oxygen to study.

"I have a girl," Leonard reminded the man. "And, just because she's off planet hopping…"

"...totally all your fault," Jim cut in.

"...doesn't mean I'm going to shack up with the next best thing to come along," Leonard finished without missing a beat. Jim leaned back on his elbows, sighed.

"You don't even look at other girls, Bones."

"That's because I don't want to," Leonard muttered. "There's only one girl for me, Jim, and you know that. Hell, she'd know that if she'd stop long enough for us to have an actual conversation."

Jim fell silent in the wake of his declaration. "She's still running, I guess," he said quietly. He missed Anaya beyond belief. Leonard wasn't the only one suffering the loss of what felt like one of their limbs. "Well, I'll fix that soon enough," he announced, putting a cheery smile on his face.

"Oh good golly, not that again," Leonard rolled his eyes. "Do you know how unlikely it is that you're going to be able to beat that test tomorrow? No one beats the test."

"Well, guess you'll just have to tag along and see in the morning, eh?" Jim laughed. He leaned forward, glancing conspiratorily around the room. "So, I was off with Gaila, and in comes her roommate, right? She shoves me under the bed, man! Under the bed!"

"Charming," Leonard smirked. "Obviously trying to protect her reputation."

Jim gaped and then chose to ignore the comment. "So guess who her roommate is?"

"God, do I really have to do this? I was here, ten minutes ago, enjoying my book, the peace and quiet…" Leonard's complaint was quickly interrupted.

"Uhura!"

Leonard groaned, taking another long drink from his beer.

"You know, I still don't know her first name? What the hell is up with that? Lee told me her name almost right away," he disclosed. Leonard spat out his mouthful of beer, and sat up, looking a little chagrined at the spray that had hit his friend.

"You knew?" He asked. Jim's eyes widened, realising he'd broken Anaya's confidence. "You knew all this time?!"

"Uh, well, you know… it's not important Bones. What is important is that …" Jim stopped, frowning. "What the hell was I going to say?"

"And you think you're going to beat the test tomorrow?" Leonard asked skeptically. "You haven't been studying - not that it would help anyway, and instead you've been out drinking and doing the nasty with your girlfriend..."

"Oh god!" Jim interrupted. "She told me she loved me!"

"...and breaking hearts, by the sounds of it."

"You should have seen Uhura's…" Jim sat up, made grip like gestures with his hands, like he was cupping Uhura's breasts. "That woman… perfect."

"You really should show her some more respect, Jim, she's a brilliant linguistics officer," Leonard frowned.

"Oh! That's what I was going to say!" Jim said dismissively. "Uhura was in long-range sensor lab tonight, she picked up and translated an emergency transmission from a Klingon prison planet."

"Huh," Leonard said. "Go on."

"Yeah, a Klingon armada was destroyed, forty-seven ships, Bones!"

Leonard didn't like the sound of that. Who or what would have the power to take on a Klingon armada? They weren't exactly a passive people without defenses. "Has this been reported to Starfleet Security?" He asked.

"What for?" Jim asked. "Klingon warbirds being destroyed isn't a problem for us."

"You haven't stopped to think about who might have done that?"

Jim paused, frowning. "Well, I'm sure Uhura told someone, she's smart like that. It is interesting, that's for sure. I need to mull it over some, come up with a theory. Now tell me, what the hell am I gonna do about Gaila's declaration of love?"

"That is so weird," Leonard mused.

"That's what I said!" Jim exclaimed.

"Why on Earth would a girl fall in love with a bumbling idiot like you?" Leonard asked, drawing a shocked and insulted look from Jim.

* * *

 **The Next Day  
Kobayashi Maru Scenario**

Anaya watched the unfolding scene from the cloaked observation deck. The mirrored glass hid the identities of the instructors, and the select other viewers. She smiled over at Spock, who was typing on a datapad, adjusting some settings, and waited for him to look at up at her.

"Thanks for letting me watch," she told him and he nodded.

"I understand that Mr Kirk is a good friend of yours?" He asked.

"Yeah," she breathed, looking out at the team of cadets taking up their positions on the simulator bridge. They were all dressed in long-sleeved blue tunics, and looked as if they belonged on the bridge of a ship. Her eyes smiled at Jim as he joked around with one of the cadets, then said something to make Uhura glare at him. Finally her eyes dropped to Leonard who was taking up the security station, and pursed her lips together. He seemed to be impatient, and short tempered with Jim, who was goofing around like usual. "I haven't seen them in a while."

"Them?" Spock asked curiously.

"Oh, Uhura, McCoy… they're all friends from my time at the Academy," she covered and Spock nodded.

"Perhaps you should be in there, manning the security station?" He suggested, but she shook her head, crinkled up her nose.

"I wouldn't want to interrupt Jim, he's got enough on his plate - I can't believe this is his third try."

"The man is persistent," Spock agreed.

"That's one word for it," she chuckled. Her laugh was drowned out by one of the instructors starting the simulation. Soon enough the team below them was well into the scenario.

Jim looked around him, smiling, he was excited. Today he was going to be the first cadet to ever beat the Kobayashi Maru scenario. Uhura turned to him, seemed almost amused when she announced, "We're receiving a distress signal from the USS Kobayashi Maru. The ship has lost power and is stranded. Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them." Jim smiled sweetly at Uhura, swung his chair around to face the front of the simulator.

"Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them, _Captain_ ," he infuriatingly corrected her, softening it with a grin, Leonard rolled his eyes as Uhura turned back to her station with a flick of her high ponytail.

"Two Klingon vessels have entered the neutral zone and are locking weapons on us," Leonard announced as a klaxon started to sound. He pressed a couple of buttons on his station, and Jim shrugged, looking rather nonplussed in his seat. On the screen the two Klingon warbirds arrived, and the tension in the room went up a notch as alarms started to blare, and the cadets scurried to fulfill their roles. They might not be in the Captain's chair, but they were still marked on their performance today, every little interaction going on their file.

"That's okay," Jim nodded, his voice flippant and light.

"That's okay?" Leonard questioned, throwing his hands up in the air and narrowing his eyes at the man behind him.

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Jim said dismissively, drawing looks of consternation from the team around him.

"Did he just say don't worry about it?" The instructor next to Anaya asked, turning to his companion.

"Is he not taking the simulation seriously?" The other man asked. Anaya covered her eyes with her hand, rubbing her eyes as she internally groaned. She didn't know what Jim was up to, but she knew he wasn't going to win any points by acting his usual, gung-ho, nonchalant self.

"Three more Klingon warbirds decloaking and targeting our ship." Leonard said, throwing his hand in the air and gesturing to the screen. "I don't suppose this is a problem either?" He asked sarcastically. Before them, there were multiple unfriendlies moving to surround the broken down Federation ship.

"They're firing, Captain," one of the cadet's announced, Jim nodded.

"Alert medical bay to prepare to receive all crew members from the damaged ship," Jim said. Leonard shook his head and turned back to his station.

" And how do you expect us to rescue them when we're surrounded by Klingons, _Captain_?" Uhura crossed her arms and punctuated the use of Jim's title, causing Anaya to silently giggle. Jim sat calmly in the chair, the corners of his mouth turning up.

"Alert medical," he repeated.

Figures flowed up on Leonard's screen as more alarms went off, screen and he turned his back on Jim to hit a few buttons. "Our ship is being hit. Shields at sixty percent," he told Jim.

"I understand," Jim replied, reaching down beside him and pulling out an apple.

"Well should we, I don't know, fire back?" Leonard strongly suggested to the complacent captain.

"No," Jim replied, taking large bite out of the crispy red skin.

"Of course not," Leonard said with a sigh. He was starting to think his friend had lost his damn mind, too much sex and drinking and not enough study. He made a mental note to consider putting Jim through a psych evaluation once they got out of here.

Anaya was watching in disbelief, her eyes locked not on Jim where they should be, but Leonard as he tried to direct their friend from a certain fail. She didn't know what Jim's game was, and frankly she didn't care right now. When Leonard had turned around, replying dubiously to Jim's instruction, she saw his eyes flash with the fire that had always drawn her to him. Her stomach twisted, and she struggled with her emotional response to seek him out, just to touch him. She pulled her emotions back under control, the only physical indication that anything had affected her being the the slight shake to her hands.

The lights flickered, and down below the cadets looked around in confusion for a moment as the computers powered down for a few seconds, screens flickered, and then kicked back on.

"What is this?" The instructor asked. "What's going on?"

Below them, Jim seemed to come to life, leaning forward in his seat. "Hmmm… arm photons," he told Leonard. "Prepare to fire on the Klingons."

"Yes, sir," one cadet replied.

"Jim, their shields are still up," Leonard announced.

"Are they?" Jim questioned in a tone that said he knew otherwise.

Leonard checked his instruments again, then frowned in confusion. "No," he said. "They're not."

"Fire on all enemy ships," Jim ordered the team. "One photon each should do it, so don't waste ammunition."

Anaya crossed her arms, saw the Vulcan standing beside her frown slightly, which was as loud a statement to her as if he'd just shouted something was wrong to the entire room.

"Target locked and acquired on all warbirds," Cadet Anderson announced. "Firing." The entire room stopped and stared as the photons hit their target, easily destroying the enemy ships. Jim sat munching away on his apple, smiling and extending his index finger in a _pull the trigger on a gun_ gesture, as the explosions on the screen ripped through space, a fireworks of colour, until there was only the Maru.

"All ships destroyed sir," another cadet informed the happy captain.

"Begin rescue of the stranded crew." Jim said quickly. He looked pleased with himself, springing to his feet. "So, we've managed to eliminate all enemy ships, no one onboard was injured, and the successful rescue of the Kobayashi Maru crew is underway." Jim announced, clapping Leonard on the shoulder. The doctor looked amazed at the turn of events, and Anaya frowned. Jim was definitely up to something she thought as he casually bit into his apple again, chewing loudly.

The observation room was silent for a moment and then everyone started to talk at once. An instructor walked up and scowled at Spock. "How the hell did that kid beat your test?" He asked. The skin between Spock's eyes creased just slightly, indicating his unhappiness.

"I do not know," he replied. Anaya had a feeling that it wasn't going to take Spock long to find out why.

* * *

 **Starfleet Academy Tribunal**

Anaya melted into the sea of cadets, all wearing their red uniforms. She had adapted the more common female uniform from a skirt and boots to include the black opaque leggings. She wasn't quite so boyish to give up the skirt altogether - part of her enjoyed the way Leonard had once admired her in the long tunic - but she needed pragmatism too. As such, she knew she would stand out to the keen observation of anyone who was paying close attention, and she didn't intend to be discovered that easily.

Blending into to a group of new recruits, she wove her way down the stands until she was sitting seven rows back from Jim and Leonard. She could see them unhindered from her position, and they were having a heated discussion - no doubt about the scenario Jim had just defeated - as the panel of judges was assembled at the front of the auditorium for a spontaneous hearing.

It had only taken Spock an hour to discover the subroutine in his coding that had overwritten the scenario, giving Jim the upper hand. How the young tactical officer had thought he'd get away with such a blatant disregard for the entire exercise was beyond Anaya's comprehension - but she had to begrudgingly admit that Jim had always put himself above the rules, and this time was no exception.

Admiral RIchard Barnett stepped up to a podium and looked out over the gathered cadets. "This session has been called to resolve a troubling matter. James T. Kirk, step forward." Anaya watched as Jim rose to his feet, and then sheepishly made his way to the defendant's podium "Cadet Kirk, evidence has been submitted to this council, suggesting that you violated the ethical code of conduct pursuant to Regulation One-Seven point three of the Starfleet Code. Is there anything you care to say before we begin, sir?"

"Yes, I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly," Jim responded. There was movement to Jim's left, and in the third row, Spock stood up wearing the black tunic and pants of an instructor.

"Step forward, please," the Admiral requested. "This is Commander Spock. He's one of our most distinguished graduates. He's programmed the Kobayashi Maru exam for the last four years. Commander?"

Spock took his place at the other podium and looked directly at Jim. Already the man could see that the Vulcan would be a worthy adversary. "Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine to the programming code, thereby changing the conditions of the test." Commander Spock accused.

"Your point being?" He asked.

"In academic vernacular, you cheated," the Admiral replied.

Jim had been preparing for this moment for some time. He had addressed the logic in his own mind, felt confident in his argument. He would win this tribunal, and go down in history as the first cadet to ever win the Kobayashi Maru. "Let me ask you something, I think we all know the answer to. The test itself is a cheat, isn't it? You programmed it to be unwinnable."

"Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario," Spock replied. Jim laughed, shaking his head at the very notion.

"I don't believe in no-win scenarios," he said, quoting the very thing Captain Pike had told him about his father three years ago. He'd embodied that vision of his father, who up until then had been nothing more than a painful shadow in his life - a man he'd never know growing up, someone he couldn't even look to for inspiration. Until he saw it in the eyes of another.

"Then, not only did you violate the rules, you also failed to understand the principle lesson," Spock said.

"Please, enlighten me," Jim scoffed.

"You of all people should know, Cadet Kirk. A Captain cannot cheat death."

Jim bit his lip, shaking his head with an incredulous look. "I of all people," he commented.

"Your father, Lieutenant George Kirk, assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?" Spock was making a point, but it was not the one Jim wanted to make. He pushed down the emotional reaction to the comments about his father, desperately wanting to call the pointy-eared bastard out on the fact that it was his father who didn't believe in the no-win situation. Indeed, if you wanted to look at it one way, his father had won the day Jim had been born. Anaya had said it once to him, late at night, when they'd been out star gazing.

"I don't think you like the fact that I beat your test?" Jim countered, failing to draw an ounce of ire from the Vulcan.

"Furthermore, you have failed to divine the purpose of the test," Spock continued.

"Enlighten me again," Jim replied, unconvinced.

Anaya frowned, watching Jim's reaction to Spock's accusation. The man who had been a brother to her, didn't believe in no-win situations. She knew that, was it really want this was all about? And how did she feel about the fact that he was right - the scenario was programmed to lose every time, Spock had told her that himself.

"The purpose is to experience fear. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one's crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain." Anaya bit her lip as Spock finished, knowing it was going to be a low blow to Jim. While she had worked hard to control the fear that had haunted her since the day she almost fell to her death, only amplified when the _Farragut_ had been attacked, Jim seemed as reckless as ever.

"Excuse me, sir," an Aide said, approaching Admiral Barnett and handing him a datapad.

Barnett paused to read the screen, and then cleared his throat, looking up into the crowd. "We've received a distress call from Vulcan," he announced. Anaya zeroed in on the Admiral, consternation washing through her almost immediately. She had just been on Vulcan not twenty-four hours earlier. "With our primary fleet engaged in the Laurentian system, I hereby order all cadets to report to Hangar One immediately. Dismissed."

Her wristwatch beeped and Anaya looked down at it, clicked the button to answer the comm.

"Sir?"

"Get to the ship, now," Pike's voice replied without any messing around.

Anaya was already on her feet, eyes seeking out Jim and Leonard one final time before she allowed herself to flow to the top of the auditorium and out toward the Hangar, walking quickly for the shuttle. Her mind turned to the task at hand, securing the _Enterprise_ for her maiden voyage, what was going to be a rescue mission, from what they'd just been told

Jim was still trying to figure out his accuser as the entire room broke into movement. Leonard walked up behind him, clapped him on the shoulder as Spock pushed past them, moving toward an exit. "Who was that pointy-eared bastard?" He asked, coining the phrase he'd had run through his mind not a few moments earlier.

"I don't know," Leonard said curiously, "but I like him!"

* * *

 _ **Hangar One**_

As the cadets assembled in the Hangar, Leonard was already thinking ahead, about all the possible disasters that could be unfolding on Vulcan right now. They could be dealing with any number of catastrophes when they arrived: natural disaster leading to physical injury and death, biological attack from a farming or mining accident, Andronesian encephalitis had broken out a few months back, and he'd heard rumours of a particularly deadly strain of Fostossa virus - could it have made its way to Vulcan?

He found himself slightly disappointed when he wasn't assigned to _The Farragut_ but contained his feelings while the rest of their assembled cadets waited in rows for their orders. A Commander was standing on top of a crate, reading out assignments. "...Regula I, Tracy, USS Farragut... USS Enterprise, McGrath, USS ... Vader, USS Hood. Welcome to Starfleet, godspeed."

As the officer wrapped up the call, Jim was left standing alone as the cadets dispersed to their shuttles.

"He didn't call my name," Jim said, frowning and jogging after the man. "Commander! Sir, you didn't call my name. Kirk, James T.?"

The Commander stopped to punch some codes into a computer interface, not glancing up as he replied, "Kirk, you're on academic suspension. That means you're grounded, until the Academy board rules."

Leonard felt disappointment for Jim who, as infuriating as he could be, was just doing what he always did best - bent the rules to achieve the best outcome. " Jim, the board'll rule in your favor," Leonard placated. "Most likely." He wasn't completely convinced that Jim was going to get out this with just a slap on the wrist, academic suspension was rough. He looked over toward the shuttle he was to board, started to feel the urgency of the mission. "Look, Jim, I got to go."

Jim nodded, his head dropping down as he realised his position. "Yeah, get going. Be safe." Leonard turned toward his shuttle, his stomach a hard pit as he walked away from Jim.

"Excuse me," an officer said, pushing past the last remaining man.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry," Jim replied, nodding sadly. Leonard felt compassion, and loyalty, run through his heart, knew he was going to regret what he was about to do.

"Dammit," he muttered, grabbing Jim by the arm. "Come with me."

Jim followed, but with a confused look on his face. "Bones, where are we going?"

"You'll see," Leonard replied, pulling Jim off to a medical bay, ducking down to start rummaging through some medications. In the back of his mind, warning bells were screaming at him, but he didn't have time to rethink this ridiculous plan - all he knew was that he had to get Jim on the ship.

"What are you doing?" Jim asked, as Leonard took out a hypospray and clicked the vaccine he had picked out into place.

"I'm doing you a favour," Leonard replied. "I couldn't just leave you there looking all pathetic. Take a seat," he gestured to a crate that was doubling as a bench. "I'm going to give you a vaccine against viral infection from Melvaran mud fleas," he explained, pressing the hypo to Jim's neck and clicking the trigger. Jim flinched as the vaccine was forced into his skin.

"Ooow!" Jim complained. "What for?"

"Give you the symptoms," Leonard said shortly.

"What are you talking about?" Jim asked, blinking a few times.

"You're going to start losing vision in your left eye," Leonard informed him. Jim shook his head, feeling like his eye was about to bulge out of his head.

"Yeah, I already have," he reported.

"Oh, and you're going to get a really bad headache and a flop sweat," Leonard continued, slipping his hand under Jim's arm and helping him to stand.

"You call this a favour?" Jim asked skeptically.

"Yeah," Leonard muttered, pulling Jim out of the medical bay and toward the shuttle. "You owe me one."

When they reached the shuttle Leonard knew he was going to have to do some fast talking - even for him - to get Jim on board. The male assigner at the door to the shuttle looked at Jim, who was stumbling on his feet, held partially up by Leonard, and frowned. Glancing down at his duty roster he shook his head. "Kirk, James T. He's not cleared for duty aboard the Enterprise."

Leonard launched into his spiel, knew that his best bet was to talk rings around the man. "Medical Code states the treatment and transport of a patient to be determined at the discretion of his attending physician, which is me. So, I'm taking Mister Kirk aboard. Or would you like to explain to Captain Pike why the Enterprise warped into a crisis without one of its senior medical officers?"

The assigner looked hesitantly at his datapad. "I'm going to have to check with…"

"Let them aboard, Ensign." Both Leonard and Jim's heads shot up when they heard Anaya's voice from the top of the shuttle ramp. Leonard's eyes trailed down the curve of her hips, taking in the dark leggings and the knee high boots and felt his stomach flip. Jim smiled broadly and opened his mouth to greet her, Leonard clamped his hand firmly over the opening, gagging the man.

"You heard the lieutenant," he said, taking in Anaya's insignia on the shoulder. The ensign glanced back at Anaya, shook his head.

"Ma'am… it specifically states…"

"Do you know who I am, Ensign O'Reilly?" Anaya cut in, her blue eyes dark and sharp, brooking no nonsense. Leonard couldn't help but smile as she said it. Anaya hated pulling rank on anyone, this would be testing her to the limits. "Lieutenant Lee, Chief of Security," she supplied to the floundering officer. "Captain Pike is waiting for me aboard his ship as we are preparing to depart into an unknown situation, and you are delaying my shuttle launch. I can't very well leave without one of my lead medical officers, can I?"

The man's mouth opened and closed a few times and then he waved Leonard and Jim ahead of him. "As you were."

"As you were," Jim mimicked, causing Leonard to scowl and shove him not too kindly into the shuttle.

"C'mon!" He said, rushing to get Jim on board before the ensign changed his mind.

Leonard frowned, moving Jim further into the shuttle, taking in the blue eyes staring back at him. "What the hell are you doing here? You're meant to be on the _Farragut_."

"Change of plans, Pike had me transferred," she replied.

Jim staggered forward, grabbing Anaya in a huge bear hug, exclaiming, "Lee!" He was already sweating from his forehead, and his left eye was looking a little swollen and red. Anaya pulled back and looked at him, noting the extreme change to his appearance from just a short moment ago.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" She asked, looking at Leonard.

"It's a long story," he said, pushing past them toward the interior and the safety of the seats.

"It always is," she muttered, turning and slipping her arm around Jim, helping him to a seat next to Leonard. As Jim slumped into the chair, she took a seat opposite them, watching Leonard from guarded eyes as he struggled into his restraints.

As they broke out of the atmosphere of the planet, Jim swallowed a few times, then started to look a little green around the gills. Anaya found herself watching him with concern, wondering if she should get an airsickness bag.

"I might throw up on you," Jim muttered, his eyes lifting to hers.

Anaya smiled. "Wouldn't be the first time I've been told that," she replied. She looked at Leonard, but he was steadfastly ignoring her and trying to get a rein on his emotions as he looked out the window at the bright lights of the Earth Spacedock - five starships at bay and waiting on their crew.

"Oh Jim, you got to look at this. Jim, look!" Leonard said suddenly as they started their approach.

"What?" Jim asked curiously, leaning past Leonard to share the window. The _Enterprise_ almost filled their entire visual as the shuttle zipped toward the docking bay.

Anaya smiled at the awe on their faces. _The Enterprise_ was indeed unlike any other ship that Starfleet had built to date. Even the _Farragut_ paled in comparison. She felt a burst of pride when she looked at the starship, knew that Captain Pike was especially proud of the team he'd assembled, and the ship he was taking into space. The expression on Leonard and Jim's faces were mirrored by almost every cadet on the shuttle; she couldn't blame them. She'd felt the same way when she first saw it twenty-four hours earlier.

As they cleared the hangar doors, the shuttle glided into hold, and Anaya breathed a softly spoken greeting. "Welcome to the _Enterprise,_ boys."


	7. Chapter 7 - Destiny: Warp Speed 6

AN: Thank you everyone for your ongoing feedback and support - it really means a lot and keeps me writing! I hope you enjoy the next installment of _Stars Are Blind_. I'll try not to make it so long between updates next time - moving 6 weeks ago just got the best of me, and I was without internet for a month, plus came down with pneumonia. All on the mend now :) There's a Supernatural update on its way too soon! Hope you enjoy this :)

* * *

 **DESTINY: WARP SPEED 6**

* * *

 _Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost._

* * *

As soon as they disembarked the shuttle Anaya walked quickly into the hive of corridors that made up the starship. Her mind was a whirl of emotion at seeing Jim and Leonard. She pushed it behind a cool facade and led the way, intent on getting Jim somewhere that wasn't going to cause a major security meltdown if he was discovered.

The familiar sounds of the ship are no longer a comfort: she barely heard the overhead announcements in preparation for takeoff. The chatter coming from her ear commlink was like white noise, when compared to the thundering roar of blood racing through her ears. She tossed a glance over her shoulder to ensure that Leonard and Jim were still following, and then veered right, down a corridor toward the lifts.

"We need to get you changed," Leonard said to Jim, who had started to sweat profusely. Leonard noted that Jim was having a much worse reaction to the vaccine than he'd anticipated, alarmingly his face has swollen, which is never a good thing. Jim looked as if he was going to gag, and Leonard pushed him out in front of him, guiding him with a hand to his shoulder as they entered the lift and Anaya punched in the level they were going to.

"I don't feel right," Jim complained. "I feel like I'm leaking."

"What did you do to him?" Anaya frowned at the yellow pallor that tinged Jim's cheeks, observing that Leonard was watching his patient with more care than she feels comfortable with. He hasn't said anything, but there was concern in Leonard's voice when he spoke softly.

"It's a vaccine," Leonard said.

"For fleas…" Jim uttered.

"It was the quickest thing I could think of to get him on the ship," Leonard added as the doors to the lift open and they started moving again.

"You could have called me, I could have gotten him on the ship without it." Anaya quipped, regretting it almost as soon as she had spoken. Leonard snorted as she rounded a corner, taking the lead once more.

"Called you?!" He whispered fiercely, getting up behind her as they walked quickly along the corridor. "I didn't even know where you were! It's not like you've been sending postcards."

Anaya bit her lip and looked sheepishly down at the floor, her mouth twisted apologetically, not that he could see it from his position behind her. "Yeah, about that…"

"Hell!" Leonard said as he looked over her shoulder. "It's that pointy-eared bastard." Anaya head shot up to see Spock coming in their direction. He was analysing a datapad and conversing with another crewman, but she knew that he'd see Jim as soon as he was finished with the report - the stowaway was starting to stick out like a sore thumb.

"This way," she urged, pulling Leonard and Jim into a left corridor, just narrowly swerving out of the Commander's line of sight. "He'll be going to the Bridge," she added.

"Do you know him?" Leonard asked, Anaya nodded her confirmation.

"We've met, he's brilliant - especially in computer programming and tactics," she replied.

"I still beat him," Jim boasted, a smile spread across his bulging face. Anaya grimaced at the discomfort she felt, just in looking at him, and turned right down the rabbit warren.

"You cheated," Leonard pointed out, steering Jim after Anaya and struggling to keep up with her swift pace when lumbered with a sickly patient. He pressed Jim forward at a pace that was faster than he liked; while he kept his exterior calm and professional, as any doctor would, inside he was running scenarios and debating what he needed to do next in order to slow down Jim's reaction to the vaccine.

"I improvised!" Jim stubbornly retorted.

Anaya shook her head, hit a button on the wall and suddenly Leonard realised they are going to the medical bay. She knew exactly where he'd planned to stash Jim while he tried to figure out what to do with him, and he didn't even need to tell her. He marveled at how in-sync, once again, they are: always had been, until the day Jocelyn got her claws into him. He pushed that particular memory to the back of his mind, to be dealt with later, and went back to his medical analysis, taking in the colour of Jim's skin, and the trickle of sweat running down the man's neck.

"I caught your little stunt, Jim," Anaya said as Leonard maneuvered Jim out of the way of several nurses who are going about their pre-flight checks. "You know all these years and I kept asking myself why you spent so much time with Gaila… you used her for computer access!"

Leonard shot a frown in Jim's direction as they reached the medical bay. "Oh Jim, tell me you didn't lead that poor girl on…"

Jim groaned loudly and unapologetically, glanced from Leonard to Anaya and swayed on his feet. "We're gonna get into this now?"

Leonard's observation of his friend was that Jim had probably never felt so sick in his life. His concerns for vomiting all over Anaya earlier had been warnings, Leonard had no doubt, not threats. While he and Anaya were accusing him of cheating, Jim's face was turning a sickly yellow, and he looked as if he was struggling to hold himself together. A nurse walked past, the floral scent of her perfume - which was surely not regulation - sent Leonard's stomach into a somersault, and he looked sympathetically at Jim whose expression stated clearly he blamed Leonard for this whole predicament. Anaya, of course, ignored all this.

"Why not?" She asked, as Jim looked at his hands. If she could have read Jim's mind, she would have heard him musing absently that this is how a snake must feel, right before it was due to slough its scales.

"I feel like my skin is gonna run off my bones, can't it wait?" He whined.

Anaya scoffed, looked at Jim like she would a petulant child.

" Just quit it, the both of you," Leonard orders. Anaya's irritated gaze swung to him, and she crossed her arms, her lips thinned into a look of discontent.

"Yeah, great, now you're angry..." Leonard muttered under his breath as he walked off to find a hypospray. He wondered where that anger had been when Jocelyn had been trying to eat his face off. _Again, not the time,_ he chastised himself, reminded his frontal cortex that there were more urgent issues at hand.

"Where are we?" Jim asked, his head twisted left and right to look at the plain, simple interior of the room.

"First level sick bay," Anaya replied, trying to get her heart to stop racing. "It's used for intensive care," she added, to which Leonard nodded. While still manned, this medical area is much less frequented than level six which is larger and better equipped for a broader range of emergencies.

Anaya noted Leonard's approval and crossed her arms. She was angry with him, but it wasn't over what she'd thought. She'd long come to terms with the fact that he'd reassigned her to the _Farragut,_ that he'd been doing what he thought was right for her. Instead, now that he'd brought up the fact that he hadn't known where she was, her reaction had been anger that he'd not looked into it, had just let her go without a fight.

"This isn't worth it," Jim declared, shaking his head to try and clear it, before he looked Leonard and Anaya over. For a short time they had been the most important in his life, still were, even though Anaya had been somewhat estranged since the attack on the _Farragut_. He sighed as he saw how out of sorts they all were, and he can't really blame them: Leonard felt rejected and hurt that she'd not trusted him during the incident with Jocelyn. Anaya blamed Leonard for pushing her away and into a position where she didn't feel ready. Jim knew the nightmares she must have faced - he had them himself, but he had shoved them inside a box, and conveniently stored them away to be dealt with … well, never if he had his way.

"A little suffering's good for the soul," Leonard replied. Though his mind is on Jim's quote, from the day they met. Something about finding the person who is worth suffering for?

"Well, you'd know all about that," Anaya said. Leonard's face fell as he realised Anaya was still angry over what had happened with the _Farragut_. So many times he'd drafted letters to explain his reasoning; each time he deleted them without sending. Before long, Leonard had decided it would be easier to wait until he saw Anaya in person - but she never came back to the Academy, or if she did, it wasn't to see him.

"I'm not the only one with an academy award in suffering," Leonard muttered under his breath; Anaya heard him and glared her response. While his two best friends stared off, Jim spotted a pretty nurse wandering past, and smiled broadly. The girl hurried past with an innocent little smile in the cadet's direction once she noticed his attentions.

"Hi, how are you?" Jim asked, receiving an amused look from Anaya.

"Some things never change," she said.

"Over here," Leonard said to Jim, guiding him to an observation bed that is out of the way of regular foot traffic. He pushed Jim's shoulder until he was sitting down, and then looked up at Anaya. "People don't change, Lee," he said, a hidden message under the heavy words.

"No, they don't. They just reveal their true colours, right _Doctor_?" Anaya asked, wondering if he could see the hurt that was aching in her chest. Leonard frowned at the use of the word _Doctor._ She only ever stooped that low when she was angry with him, or frustrated. Scowling, Leonard was unhappy with the current situation yet felt powerless to change it. He'd imagined his reunion with Anaya under somewhat less urgent circumstances, when they could argue to their hearts content, and _hopefully_ make up at the end of it.

"My mouth is itchy, is that normal?" Jim reported, completely ignoring the looks that were firing between the doctor and security officer.

Leonard looked down at his patient, sighed. "Well, those symptoms won't last long. I'm going to give you a mild sedative." He pushed the hypospray to Jim's neck and looked at Anaya, saying, "you're upset, I get it, but you know me, you know why I did what I did."

"Agh, I wish I didn't know you," Jim complained.

"Don't be such an infant," Leonard chastised.

"That makes two of us!" Anaya snapped, turning on her heel and storming out of the sick bay. Jim flinched again as the spray jettisoned the sedative into his bloodstream, and Leonard looked after Anaya.

"Aggh.." Jim said. " how long is it supposed to…" He didn't even get to finish his sentence before he hit the bed, falling unconscious. Leonard looked down at Jim passed out and then up at the retreating back of Anaya.

"Unbelievable," he muttered, and he wasn't just talking about Jim's intolerance to being sick. "Anaya!" He raced after the girl, seeing her hesitate near the exit and then stop. When she turned to look at him, he saw the raw pain in her eyes, and bit back the sharp comment he was about to say.

"Hey," he said, walking over to her, ignoring the looks they got from the medical staff around. "Would you stop runnin' away? Please? Let's just talk." Anaya stopped, her eyes ran the length of his body, seeing the slump to his shoulders. Finally she nodded, unable to find the words to respond.

A couple of strands of hair had come loose around her face as they'd boarded, and Leonard resisted the overwhelming urge to reach out and tuck them behind her ear - figured it probably wasn't prudent given their current non-existent relationship. Anaya's commlink beeped in her ear as they started to move back toward the bay they'd stashed Jim in. She stopped, held an index finger to her lips as Pike's voice sounded over the comm.

" _Lieutenant Lee, report."_

She pressed the button on the earpiece to accept the incoming transmission. "Lee reporting for duty, sir."

" _Why aren't you on my bridge, Miss Lee?"_

"Sir," she said, scrambled for an excuse. She looked into Leonard's eyes and sighed. "I had reports of a mix up in crew members as we docked."

" _Is it taken care of?"_

"Yes, sir."

" _Report to the Bridge,_ _now_ _."_ There was a beep and the connection was cut.

Anaya looked at Leonard, torn between wanting to sort things out with him, and needing to do her duty. The ship won. "I have to go, I'm sorry," she apologised, looking at him with conflict in her eyes. Leonard sucked in a breath and nodded shortly, he knew better than to argue.

"Yeah, yeah. We'll talk later," he said, waving her off with a dismissive gesture. She wanted to say something, but it was going to take a lot longer than a minute to get out. She reached out a hand, squeezing his forearm, trying to come up with something, anything that would ease the tension. He'd come after her, this time, she knew he wanted to fix things – and she wanted that too.

"Mac..."

"I know," he said. "You need to go, like I said, we'll talk later," he promised, finally taking that moment to reach out and tuck the stray piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm not going anywhere."

Placated, she managed a smile before turning and jogging down the corridor toward the Bridge.

Leonard looked around the ship, frowning slightly. "Why aren't we moving?" He asked no one in particular. He scowled, and started back to the medical bay to check on Jim. "I will never get used to this," he muttered.

Anaya arrived at the Bridge within a minute of leaving Leonard. Pike was standing in the centre of the room, he nodded as she passed him and moved to her station. Anaya punched in the pre-flight checks for securing the different decks while the Captain looked around at his team.

"Mister Spock," he said, a statement more than a question.

"Captain," Spoke replied, looking up from his station. "Engineering reports ready for launch."

"Miss Lee?"

Anaya nodded, satisfied with all the readings that were filing down the screen. "Shuttle bays are secure, Captain, we are ready to warp."

"Thank you," Pike replied. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the maiden voyage of our newest flagship deserves more pomp and circumstance than we can afford today. A christening will just have to be our reward for a safe return. Carry on." He moved to the chair in the centre of the room and sat, for the first time ever, in the place of command for the _USS Enterprise. "_ All decks, this is Captain Pike, prepare for immediate departure. Helm, thrusters."

A young pilot pushed a few buttons on his station and then began reporting. "Moorings retracted, Captain. Dock control reports ready. Thrusters, fired. Separating from Spacedock." The starship started to glide almost effortlessly away from the spacedock, joining the rest of the fleet in the safety zone for warp.

"The fleet's cleared Spacedock, Captain. All ships ready for warp," Anaya reported, connecting with her fellow crewman aboard the rest of the starships, noting that they were ready to proceed.

"Set course for Vulcan," Pike ordered.

"Aye aye, Captain. Course laid in," the pilot replied.

"Maximum warp," Pike stated. "Punch it."

The pilot responded to the order with a flourish, pushing forward the lever and Anaya held her breath, preparing for the moment where time started to stand still, and then fast forward. It never came. The ship rumbled for a moment, but did not enter into warp, the only evidence that the others had moved being the empty viewscreen before them, and the loss of" individual signature tracking from the navigation system. Everyone turned to stare at the pilot, who seemed to turn a shade of red.

"Lieutenant, where's Helmsman McKenna?" Pike asked, voicing the question Anaya had in her head.

"He has lungworm, sir. He couldn't report to his post," replied the lieutenant. "I'm Hikaru Sulu."

"And you are a pilot, right?" Pike asked.

Sulu smiled, nodding quickly. "Uh, very much so, sir. I'm, uh, not sure what's wrong." He turned back to his station, looking over the controls.

"Is the parking break on?" Pike asked.

Sulu chuckled, clearly embarrassed, and shook his head. "Uh, no. I'll figure it out, I'm just, uh..."

"Have you disengaged the external inertial dampener?" Spock asked from the other side of the Bridge, and Anaya noted that the Vulcan had deduced the problem way ahead of the flustered pilot. Sulu pressed a couple of buttons without speaking, and then looked at his screen.

"Ready for warp, sir," he reported.

"Let's punch it," Pike said for the second time. This time when the lever was pressed forward, the ship moved. The was a moment of what, to Anaya, always seemed like time standing still, and then they were moving through time and space at a speed faster than light. She had a moment to wonder how Leonard was reacting to the jump, soon pushing that to the back of her mind as Pike started to assess their status.

A short while later, fully briefed on the Bridge, it was time to announce to the rest of the crew what was happening on Vulcan.

* * *

Leonard had distracted himself with preparations for possible medical support needed on Vulcan, finding himself surprised when a familiar face waltzed up to him.

"Christine! What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Well, can't let you have all the fun," Christine Chapel replied with a cheerful smile. As pleased as he was to see that the woman had finally followed her dream of attending Starfleet medical, he found himself suddenly troubled by the fact that she was on the _Enterprise._ The last thing he needed, despite having been nothing but platonic with the woman, was any confusion around their past, especially given Anaya's propensity to over-react to absolutely nothing when feeling threatened.

"May I have your attention, please?" Leonard looked up at the request which was being broadcast ship wide on all the monitors. A young man, barely out of diapers, was looking out at them and speaking in a heavy Russian accent. "At twenty-two hundred hours, telemetry detected an anomaly in the neutral zone. What appeared to be a lightning storm in space. Soon after, Starfleet received a distress signal from Wulcan High Command that their planet is experiencing seismic actiwity."

"Can you believe this guy? He looks like he needs to go back to school, grow up a bit… learn English," Leonard muttered.

"Our mission is to assess the condition of Wulcan, and to assist in the ewacuations if necessary," the man continued.

"He's actually a child prodigy," Christine commented to Leonard, he turned his head to find that she was standing so close she was almost touching his shoulder blade with her chest.

"Well, you got one thing right," he replied. "He is a child."

"We should be arriving at Wulcan within three minutes. Thank you for your time."

Beside them Jim awoke with a startled shout. "Lightning storm!"

"Uh, Jim, you're awake. How do you feel?" Leonard asked, moving to examine his patient.

"Ah… uh…" Jim started to stutter and held up his hands which had suddenly become swollen.

"Leonard!" Christine exclaimed. "He looks like the Michelin Man!"

"Good god man!" Leonard said, trying to remain calm.

"What? Ah? What the Hell's this?!" Jim asked, holding his hands in front of his face. Leonard pursed his lips together, alarmed.

"Uh, Nurse Chapel," Leonard said, professionally. "I need fifty cc's of cortazone," he said. Christine nodded, going for the medicine. Leonard looked at Jim, frowning slightly. "Reaction to the vaccine, dammit!"

Jim had jumped off the bed and was replaying the message from earlier. He turned to Leonard, panic in his eyes.

"We got to stop the ship!" He announced without fanfare. And then he ran.

"Jim!" Leonard yelled, grabbing the hypo from Christine as he passed her. "Come back here!"

Jim led the way through the corridors and toward the Bridge. "Jim! I'm not kidding, we need to keep your heart rate down!" Leonard yelled as Jim barreled through a group of people.

"Computer, locate crew member Uhura!" Jim ordered, waiting for the computer to announce the location of the linguistics officer. Leonard skidded to a halt beside the man, a concerned frown permanently etched into his face. He started to run a tricorder over Jim, his look of concern turning to alarm. "I haven't seen a reaction this severe since med school…" he muttered to himself.

Jim looked at Leonard, holding his swollen hands up to his face. "We're flying into a trap!" The computer came back to Jim with Uhura's location and Jim pushed past the doctor. "A trap! It's a trap!" He yelled, ignoring the sound of his friend hitting the wall from his enthusiastic shove.

"Dammit Jim, stand still," Leonard said, chasing after the runaway. As Jim slowed down to get his bearings, Leonard stuck the hypo to his neck, injected something into him.

"Ow! Stop it!" Jim protested, spotting Uhura and running for her.

"Uhura, Uhura!"

"Kirk, what are you doing here?" Uhura asked when the man came to a stop in front of her.

"The transmission from the Klingon prison planet, what exactly is…"

"Oh my god, what's wrong with your hands?!" Uhura gasped, seeing the swollen appendages for the first time. Leonard was scanning Jim with the tricorder again.

"It-it-it... look, who is responsible for the Kwingon attack? is the ship Womul…" Jim's voice started to get muffled, his speech hard to understand.

"Is the ship what?" Uhura asked.

"What's happening to my mouth?" Jim asked, looking over his shoulder at Leonard. Numerous people scurried back and forth beside the group who were filling the corridor.

"You got numb tongue?" Leonard asked quickly.

"Numb tongue!" Jim nodded.

"I can fix that!" Leonard announced, leaning down and starting to rummage through his medkit.

"Is the ship what?" Uhura asked, and Jim looked at her.

"Womulan!"

Uhura scrunched up her nose, listening closer. "What?"

Jim swallowed, and slowed down his rapid speech. "Romulan," he said a little clearer.

"Romulan?"

"Yeah!" Jim confirmed.

"Yes," Uhura said, nodding.

"Yes!" Jim exclaimed. Leonard stood up behind Jim again with a new hypo and stuck it into his neck.

"Ahhh, dammit!" Jim muttered as the doctor continued to treat him. He looked at the clock on the screen, his face drained to white, and then he ran again.

"Wait, Jim, come back!" Uhura called out, racing after him.

"Jim come back!" Leonard echoed behind her.

Jim escaped them, turning the last corner and then was suddenly on the bridge, calling attention to himself as the four cadets came to a screeching halt in front of Captain Pike.

"Captain!" Jim called out. "Captain Pike, we have to stop the ship!"

"Jim, no!" Leonard muttered, stopping behind his friend.

Pike looked at Jim in confusion, glanced at Anaya. "Kirk, how the hell did you get on board the Enterprise!?" He asked.

Leonard held up his hand in a futile gesture. "Captain, this man's under the influence of a severe reaction of a Melvaran flea vaccine, completely delusional. I take full responsibility." Jim waved off his friend's confession with the same dismissive attitude he had the earlier scenario.

"Bones, Bones…listen" Jim said, patting Leonard on the chest and then turned to the Captain, his eyes growing serious. "Vulcan is not experiencing a natural disaster. It's being attacked by Romulans."

"Romulans? Cadet Kirk, I think you've had enough attention for one day. McCoy take him back to medical, we'll have words later. Lee, escort them."

"Aye, Captain," Anaya replied, stepping toward her friend.

Jim wasn't going without a fight. "Look, sir, that same anomaly…"

"Mister Kirk…" Pike turned to look at Jim with his no nonsense expression.

"Mister Kirk is not cleared to be aboard this vessel," Spock said, stepping in behind the Captain and frowning - or maybe just giving his usual look, it was hard to tell, Anaya mused - at Jim.

Jim scoffed at the Vulcan, rolled his eyes. "Look, I get it, you're a great orator. I'd love to do it again with you to…"

"I can remove the Cadet…" Spock said. Anaya panicked at the thought, knowing where it would lead. She started to step in, but Jim cut in.

"Try it! This Cadet is trying to save the bridge."

"By recommending a full stop mid-warp during a rescue mission?" Spock asked.

"It's not a rescue mission, listen, it's an attack," Jim replied. Anaya's head was spinning, she was recalling some of the things she'd talked with Jim about when they were new in the Academy… Jim had been reading the dissertation on the _USS Kelvin._

"Based on what facts?" Spock asked.

"That same anomaly, a lightning storm in space that we saw today, also occurred on the day of my birth. Before a Romulan ship attacked the USS Kelvin," Jim looked at the Captain, his eyes pleading with the man to listen. "You know that, sir, I read your dissertation. That ship which had formidable and advanced weaponry was never seen or heard from again. The Kelvin attack took place on the edge of Klingon space and at twenty-three hundred hours last night, there was an attack. Forty-seven Klingon warbirds destroyed by a Romulan, sir. It was reported that the Romulans were in one ship, one massive ship."

"And you know of this Klingon attack how?" Captain Pike asked. Jim took a breath, turned to look at Uhura who suddenly felt all eyes on her. She took a deep breath, then nodded.

"Sir, I intercepted and translated the message myself. Kirk's report is accurate."

"We're warping into a trap, sir. The Romulans are waiting for us, I promise you that." Kirk said.

Spock was listening intently - Anaya looked at him, knowing he was weighing the odds of everything being said. When the Captain glanced in Spock's direction, he inclined his head. "The Cadet's logic is sound," Spock said. "And Lieutenant Uhura is unmatched in xenolinguistics, we would be wise to accept her conclusion."

"Scan Vulcan space, check for any transmissions in Romulan," Captain Pike said to the linguistics station.

"Sir, I'm not sure I can distinguish the Romulan language from Vulcan," the officer replied.

"What about you?" Pike asked Uhura, "do you speak Romulan, Cadet...?"

"Uhura," she replied. "All three dialects, sir."

"Uhura, relieve the lieutenant," Pike ordered.

"Yes sir," she said, moving to her new station. Pike turned to look at Anaya who was running scenarios through her head. They had mere seconds to come to a conclusion, and she had run the logic as quickly as Spock had, was inclined to believe Jim. Her frown told Pike that she was concerned, and he pursed his lips.

"Lee, hail the _USS Truman_."

Relieved to be given a task, Anaya fell into action, moving to her station and punching in the security line to the other starship. She frowned, getting no reply. "All the other ships are out of warp, sir, and have arrived at Vulcan, but we seemed to have lost all contact."

"Sir, I pick up no Romulan transmission, or transmission of any kind in the area," Uhura announced. Pike frowned, looking at the screen in front of him that showed the speed of space rushing past them.

"It's because they're being attacked," Jim pressed.

"They could be jamming transmissions," Anaya agreed. Pike nodded at her and then took his seat.

"Shields up, red alert," he said.

"Arrival in Vulcan in five seconds... four... three... two…" the pilot, Sulu started the countdown. Anaya stared at the screen in front of them, punching in the sequence for the shields, and held her breath.

* * *

As they came out of warp the whole orbit of Vulcan was littered with debris. Anaya gasped when she saw what was left of one starship drifting, a huge chunk taken out of the hull. She tried to see the name of the doomed ship, but it was out of sight.

"Emergency evasive," Pike ordered. Anaya's hands moved without thought, instinct driving her actions.

"Running, sir," she said as other bridge officers began running their reports.

"Damage report," Pike asked.

"Deflector shields are holding," Anaya replied, punching a few more buttons on the console.

"All stations. Engineer Olson, report," Pike said. "Full reverse, come about starboard ninety degrees, drop us underneath and…" his voice faltered as the _Enterprise_ turned and the view screen revealed one of the largest ships they had ever seen. The scale of it was immense, and Anaya's heart dropped. She locked eyes with Pike, shared a concerned look, and then Spock's voice rang through the startled bridge.

"Captain, they're locking torpedoes."

"Avert auxiliary power from port nacelles to forward shields," Pike ordered, Anaya immediately hit the button… a split second… would it be enough? The ship rocked as the torpedoes slammed into the hull.

"Sulu, status report."

"Shields at thirty-two percent," Sulu replied.

"Their weapons are powerful, sir. We can't take another hit like that," Anaya said to Pike, scanning the statistics that were loading on her screen. They were sitting ducks, she had no idea how they were going to survive.

"Get me Starfleet Command," Pike replied. They were running out of time, and everyone knew it. The best they could hope for would be to get out an emergency distress beacon to the rest of the fleet.

"Captain, the Romulan ship has lowered some kind of high energy pulse device into the Vulcan atmosphere. It's signal appears to be blocking our communications and transporter abilities," Spock announced.

"All power to forward shields. Prepare to fire all weapons."

"Captain, we're being hailed," Uhura announced. Leonard frowned, glancing over at Anaya. She was focused on her station, frowning at a read-out. He looked up, as did everyone else, when their attacker came up on the viewscreen.

"Hello," a man said, his face clearly Romulan in appearance. He had the telltale Vulcan-like eyebrows, and intricate tattoos down the side of his face.

"I'm Captain Christopher Pike. To whom am I speaking," Pike asked.

"Hi Christopher, I'm Nero," the man responded, ignoring the title of Captain in blatant disrespect.

"You've declared war against the Federation. Withdraw. I'll agree to arrange a conference with Romulan leadership at a neutral location," Pike said, slipping easily into diplomatic negotiations.

"I do not speak for the Empire. We stand apart, as does your Vulcan crewmember, isn't that right, Spock?" Anaya looked at their Vulcan commander, who seemed surprised that their attacker recognised him. He stepped forward, frowning at the screen.

"Pardon me, I do not believe that you and I are acquainted?"

"No, we're not. Not yet," Nero replied. _Not yet?_ Anaya questioned silently. "Spock, there's something I would like you to see. Captain Pike, your transporter has been disabled. As you can see by the rest of your armada, you have no choice. You will man a shuttle, come aboard the _Narada_ , for negotiations. That is all." The screen went dead. For a moment Pike considered the demand and then stood up. Anaya knew what was on his mind, felt her heart leap into her throat.

"He'll kill you, you know that," Jim voiced what everyone else was thinking.

"Your survival is unlikely," Spock agreed.

Anaya took a few steps toward Pike, looked at him in the eyes. "Captain, we gain nothing by diplomacy. Going over to that ship is a mistake," she said softly.

"I, too, agree," Spock said. "You should re-think your strategy."

Pike had already made up his mind, took everyone's advice on hand and then locked eyes with Anaya. "I understand that," he said. Anaya knew the look he was giving her. He was going over there despite the danger. "Lee, you're with me," he said. "I need any other officers who have been trained in advanced hand-to-hand combat." Pike looked around the bridge, some people hesitated, then Sulu stood up.

"I have training, sir," he announced.

Pike nodded, "come with me. Kirk, you too. You're not supposed to be here anyway. Chekov, you have the conn," he said as he walked off the bridge.

Anaya hurried after the Captain, meeting Jim's concerned gaze. "Sir, you can't seriously be thinking of going over there?"

"We have five minutes before they are going to expect me to be in that shuttle," Pike said as he walked quickly toward the lift. Spock and Leonard had followed with the group as they left. "Doctor McCoy, report to medical, you'll be needed."

Leonard nodded, then veered off toward the medical bay as the lift doors opened. "Yes, sir," he said, his eyes locked with Anaya's as the rest of the team stepped on to the lift. "Be careful," he uttered as the doors came to a close. He fought back a growing panic attack and started to walk toward his station. Pike was clearly intent on taking combatants with him, to what end? They would all die! Four people could not take on an entire ship the size of this. He steadied his breath, stopping for a moment as he leaned his head against the cool wall beside him. It wasn't supposed to be like this: he hated space, and after all he'd been through to get here, he was going to die here too.

Anaya saw the panic in Leonard's eyes as the doors closed and wished she could comfort him. Instead, she turned her attention to Captain Pike next to her.

"What is your plan?" She asked, looking him in the eye. Pike smiled at her, a knowing look that told her he'd expected nothing less from her behaviour.

"Without transporters, we can't beam off the ship, we can't assist Vulcan, we can't do our job," he said as the doors opened to Engineering. "Mister Kirk, Mister Sulu, Miss Lee, and Engineer Olson, will space-jump from the shuttle. You will land on that machine they lowered into the atmosphere that's scrambling our gear. You'll get inside. You'll disable it, then you'll beam back to the ship. Mister Spock, I'm leaving you in command of the _Enterprise_."

"Sir, I think I should come with you," Anaya said, seeing Jim turn to look at her incredulously. Pike smiled, reached a hand out to put it on her shoulder.

"Commendable, but I need you here. You and Kirk have done these jumps before, I know you can pull this off, I'm trusting you to get the job done, Lee." She nodded, steeling her emotions. "Once we have transport capabilities, communications back up, you'll contact Starfleet, report what the hell's going on here. And if all else fails, fall back, rendezvous with the fleet in the Laurentian system," Pike continued. "Kirk, I'm promoting you to first officer."

"What?" Jim asked, genuinely surprised. He wasn't the only one.

"Captain, please, I apologize. The complexities of Human pranks escape me," Spock interjected.

"It's not a prank, Spock," Pike said. "And I'm not the Captain, you are." The doors to the Engineering deck opened and Pike stepped off the lift. "Let's go."

"Sir, after we knock out that drill, what happens to you?" Jim asked.

"Oh, I guess you'll have to come and get me," Pike said, turning to Spock and raising his eyebrow. "Careful with the ship, Spock. She's brand new." The doors closed on the lift, and he looked at the remaining crew as Engineer Olson came running up.

"You have five minutes before we leave to get suited up, make it count."

Leonard didn't have long to worry about Jim and Anaya as he reported to his station. He was dealing with his own emergency - a deck of injured or dead crewmen, and failing life support - when a commlink beeped over a nearby comm. "Doctor Puri, report," Spock's voice echoed and Leonard realised that Pike had put the pointy-eared bastard in charge. He wasn't surprised. He punched the button on his wrist comm, taking a deep breath.

"It's McCoy," he responded. "Doctor Puri was on deck six. He's dead."

"Then you have just inherited his responsibility as Chief Medical Officer," Spock replied.

"Yeah," Leonard snarled, feeling the weight of responsibility hit him like a tonne of bricks. "Tell me something I don't know." Leonard stood up from the dead body he'd been checking on and cursed. "Computer," he said to his earpiece. "Secure line, Lieutenant Lee."

" _Connecting you now,"_ the computer replied.

* * *

Anaya was in Engineering, wriggling into her space suit when the call came through.

" _Lee?"_ She breathed a sigh of relief when she recognised Leonard's voice on the other end.

"I'm here, Mac," she said softly, slipping a belt around her waist.

"He's not really going to take you over there, is he?" Leonard asked.

"No," she replied, imagining she could hear Leonard's sigh of relief. He wasn't going to feel any more reassured however, with what she had to say next. "He's sending us to disable that drill," she said. "We're to space jump from the shuttle as he approaches their ship."

Leonard ran the odds, it was at least a 20,000 metre jump. "Is Jim going with you?"

"Yeah," she replied.

Leonard looked down at his feet, leaned his forehead against the wall near one of the computers which was running a countdown to how long they had for Pike to launch the shuttle.

"Listen, Lee…"

"Don't say it, Mac," she cut him off, her voice was shaky and he could hear the doubt.

"Anaya…"

"Save it for when I get back," she insisted. They both knew she might not be coming back, that the odds of either of them surviving this mission was minimal.

"You better make it back," he growled.

Anaya smiled at the mild threat from him. "Hey, I still got six lives…" She said cheerfully, hoping to lighten the mood with humour.

"Six? What happened to seven?" Leonard's voice was filled with consternation and she chuckled.

"It's a long story."

"Yeah," his voice echoed back at her, "when isn't it?"

Jim came waltzing past Anaya, decked out in the same suit she was now wearing. "Lee, let's go!"

Anaya nodded, closed the locker where she'd put her tunic, and started to follow Jim. "I gotta go," she told Leonard, "duty calls."

"I hate this," he replied.

"I know you do," she said softly. "We'll be _fine,"_ she promised. All Leonard could see was the smiling face of a woman who took a swan dive off a cliff, and nearly killed herself in the process, after telling him the same thing two years earlier.

"You better be," he sighed, and then the connection was cut.

* * *

The four crewmen were crammed into the back of the shuttle, all of them silent and contemplative as Pike manoeuvred it out of the hangar. "Shuttle eight nine, USS Enterprise. You are cleared forward…" a flight crewman's voice barked instructions over the comm as Anaya took a deep breath.

"You got the charges, right?" She asked Engineer Olson, who was sitting next to her. The zealous man smiled, and nodded enthusiastically. He was the only one who actually looked pleased and excited, beaming even.

"Oh yeah. I can't wait to kick some Romulan ass. Right?" He asked. Jim smiled, a little less excited but clearly not wanting to discourage the man.

"Yeah."

"Oh, yeah!" Olson chimed in again. The shuttle hovered across the hangar bay and they out the doors, clearing the _Enterprise._ There was a foreboding feel to the way the ship zoomed through space, dwarfed by the enemy ship, _Narada._

"So, what kind of combat training do you have?" Jim asked, looking at the pilot beside him.

"Fencing," Sulu replied. Anaya raised an eyebrow at Jim who shared a pensive look with her, nodding at the pilot. He grinned, reaching out to take Anaya's left hand in his.

"You'd think we'd get over these jumps, wouldn't you?" She asked nervously, squeezing back as he gripped her fingers.

"Practice makes perfect," Jim replied, his tone a lot more cheerful than his expression.

"We're not in wing suits this time…" She pointed out. He shrugged, licking him lips.

"We'll be fine."

"That's what I told Mac," she said softly.

"And you're right," he replied, his voice determined, stoic. "We do our job, no one gets dead, okay?"

Anaya nodded, unable to voice the fear that was gripping at her chest. She started to breathe slowly, allowing the fear to flow through her, and then out in a cloud of darkness, to be swept away. Jim watched her, and then smiled.

"He's angry, but he still cares," he said softly.

"Some things never change," she answered, Jim laughed at her.

"Especially not Bones."

"Pre-jump," Pike announced, pushing a button which closed the doors between the cabin and back of the shuttle. Jim released her hand, sitting back in his seat to pull his EV helmet over his head. Anaya copied his movements, securing her face mask and took several more deep breaths.

"You are clear from USS Enterprise airspace…" the crewman from the _Enterprise_ stated over the comms. The shuttle moved almost effortlessly from the hangar and out into the space between the two ships. _The Enterprise_ was dwarfed by the enemy _Narada_ and without some kind of negotiation for a cessation of hostilities, they were done for.

"Crewmen, we're approaching the drop zone," Pike's voice flowed into their helmets. "You have one shot to land on that platform. They may have defenses, so pull your chute as late as possible."

" _Three….two…"_ The computer started to count down as Pike finished his speech. The floor started to move beneath their feet as the hatch prepared to open, and the cadets grabbed bars above their heads, holding on as the hatch opened further. Anaya looked beneath them, saw the red and orange swirl of planet beneath them and decided that they were indeed mad, all sanity had left the building.

"Remember, the Enterprise won't be able to beam you back until you turn off that drill. Good luck." Pike reminded them.

"... _One…"_ As the computer finished its countdown there was a pause that seemed to last a lifetime, and then the floor dropped out from underneath the cadets. Anaya's breath caught as she found herself plummeting from the shuttle into Vulcan airspace, the enormous drill appearing to her right as she flew down, a jagged composite of metal that looked hard and unyielding.

The arid red topography of the planet filled Anaya's senses as she fell. The movement was silent, and Anaya recalled Leonard's comment about space, silence and death as she started to count their progress in her mind. Pressure pushed at them from all directions, and Anaya took deep, steady breaths, focussed on their controlled fall. Her altometer read 20,000 metres, falling fast.

"Lee to _Enterprise,"_ she said, glancing at the altitude readout inside the helmet. "Distance to target, five thousand metres."

"Forty-two hundred metres to target," Jim announced from beside her. She looked over to see him in a downward dive, Sulu not far behind to his left, and Olson to her right.

"Four thousand metres," she counted down for the sake of those on the bridge. As they'd entered into the atmosphere, the pressure was almost unbearable, nothing like what she and Jim had experienced in the gorge. The pressure from how high up they were closed in on them, and Anaya found herself grateful she was wearing a mask that fed her oxygen, because their position was higher than any landmark she'd ever experienced. Memories of the fall into the gorge flashed through her mind, the way the chute had failed and she'd started to plummet to her death.

" _Lieutenant Lee, your heart rate just spiked, are you okay?"_ Spock's voice sounded over her comm, and she gulped a breath of oxygen, pushing her fear to the back of her mind, as he'd taught her.

"Lee?" Jim asked, she glanced sideways and saw him looking at her.

"I'm fine," she replied to them both. "Let's just do this."

"Three thousand metres," Sulu announced, his voice echoed by Olson at the exact same time.

They were falling faster, zipping through the air. Controlled, but it didn't feel like it, Anaya focused on her targeting program, eyes fixating on the platform they needed to land on. It wasn't going to be easy, there were a lot of unknowns and no room for error.

"Two thousand metres," Jim announced.

"Pull chutes!" Anaya ordered, yanking on her cord. The parachute caught as it flew from her backpack, and her breath shuddered as she felt herself slow down. It wasn't like any other parachuting she'd ever done. They were still high in the atmosphere, and the speed at which they'd been moving made for fast spiralling down, even with the parachute. Jim and Sulu pulled their ripcords moments after her, Olson was another story. He continued to plummet closer to the platform.

"Two thousand metres!" Olson called out.

"C'mon, pull your chute, Olson!" Jim yelled at him.

"Not yet! Fifteen hundred meters!" The engineer replied.

"Open your chute!" Anaya echoed Jim over the comms.

"Olson, pull your chute!" Jim again.

"One thousand metres," Olson announced, and then there was the visual below them of a parachute catching, and the team could do nothing but watch as Olson slammed into the platform. He hit hard, his momentum carrying him across the small landing, and they all watched in horror as Olson was pulled over the edge by the fabric of his own chute, catching in the energy beam beneath the platform. The engineer disappeared in a split second with a surprised yell.

"Olson!" She yelled, watching as Jim hit the deck a moment later. He rolled, falling over the edge just as Olson had, only barely managing to find a hand grip to stop his demise. "Jim!" She guided her chute to bring her in closer to the platform, eyes never leaving Jim as he clung to the edge of the platform, his parachute trying to pull him over. Suddenly he retracted the chute, and it popped back into his pack.

"Behind you!" She called out on the comm. A hatch opened, and a Romulan climbed up from the interior of the drill. Jim pushed himself to his feet and threw himself at the enemy, grabbing the assault rifle in the man's hands as they both struggled for control of the gun. Shots were fired, the bullets ripped through Sulu's parachute and he lost control.

Anaya attempted to reach for him, only to find her own parachute catch on the drill. She stopped, hanging like a ragdoll, ten feet above the platform as Jim continued to wrestle with the Romulan. Sulu fell the remainder of the distance, hitting the landing with a grunt. His momentum carried him feet first over the edge of the platform, the only thing stopping him was the fabric of his chute snagging on a piece of metal. In a moment Anaya ejected from her chute, dropping the rest of the way to the platform. "Hold on!"

Sprinting toward Sulu, the chute started to retract and Anaya saw Sulu's hand appear at the edge of the landing. She dove, grabbing it and pulled him up. They rolled to the side, away from the edge, and then Sulu stood, ripping his mask off, and pulling a retractable sword from his side. He hit a button and it formed a solid blade.

Turning to look in the direction he was, Anaya evaluated their situation with a quick glance. Jim was still fighting the Romulan that had attacked him, hand to hand as he'd disarmed the man. Two more Romulans had joined the frey, one stood a mere ten feet away and pulled his own sword, looking at Sulu in challenge.

"You've got the ninja," Anaya stated, looking beyond to the larger man who was stalking toward them. She threw herself forward, sliding under the legs of the Romulan wielding the sword. He looked at her with surprise, and she rolled to her side and kicked out the back of his knee once she was past him. He fell with a cry, and then Sulu attacked. Their blades locked, the bigger man on one knee and growling as Sulu put everything he had into the offence.

Anaya kept moving, pushing herself up and on to her feet. She crouched low, balanced and alert as she assessed the Romulan moving toward her. He was double her size, but ambled slowly, wielding an ungainly axe. She circled him, looking for an in, as he prowled after her. She took the offence, attacking with a series of kicks to his hands and then grabbed the axe with both hands. Pushing her feet to his thighs, she yelled and pulled back, taking the axe with her and over her head. The Romulan, refusing to give up his weapon, went with it and hit the deck hard as she rolled to her feet again, kicking swiftly to catch him in the chin.

He grunted, falling backwards and his eyes glazed over for a moment before he struggled to his feet, tossing the axe aside. He gestured at her with his hands and she threw a high kick at him – he was faster than he looked, catching her ankle and twisting. Anaya was forced to spin with it or have it break, hitting the platform face first. Bracing with her hands, she lashed back with a kick from her other leg, hearing a bone crack as she hit his knee. He roared, stumbling backwards, and pivoted on the edge of the platform. His alarmed look was not enough to stay Anaya, as she took the advantage and kicked him square in the chest, sending him to his death.

"Lee!" She heard Jim's voice call out, spinning to see her friend fall off the edge.

Anaya's heart stopping for a split moment. From the periphery of her vision she saw Sulu kill the other Romulan with a stab of his sword through the back of the man. She threw herself at the last remaining enemy, who was attempting to step on Jim's fingers and make him fall. With a shoulder to his back, he was quickly disposed of, and Anaya dropped to her knees, reaching for Jim.

"Give me your hand! C'mon!"

Sulu joined them, grabbing Jim by the elbow and helping haul him to safety. Panting, the three of them struggled to their feet.

"Olson had the charges!" Sulu called out.

"I know!" Jim replied.

"What do we do?!"

"This!" Anaya replied, spotting the rifles that the Romulans had dropped during their fights. Together, she and Jim grabbed the guns and pointed them at the drill, firing. Sparks flew from the metal, causing them to flinch backwards, but then the drill gave, and the energy beam suddenly shut down.

"We did it!" Jim said excitedly.

"Lee to _Enterprise,_ the beam is disabled," Anaya reported, hearing her sentence relayed over the comms to Spock.

She pulled her mask off, taking a deep breath of the thin air around them, almost regretting it until Jim grabbed her with an excited whoop. "We are _awesome!"_ Anaya laughed and nodded, enthusiastically hugging her friend in return as Sulu clapped them both on the back with a huge smile.

Without warning, there was the sound of something entering the atmosphere, and the team looked up to see a small metal object whizz past the platform. Sharing a look of consternation, Jim and Anaya raced to the edge, looking over. Whatever it was, it had just fallen into the hole drilled by the Romulans.

"Kirk to _Enterprise_. They just launched something at the planet, through the hole they just drilled." A crackle sounded over their comms and Anaya frowned.

"This is Lee. Do you copy _Enterprise_?" She asked, waiting breathlessly for the reply.

"Yes, ma'am," a command officer replied.

"I got a bad feeling," Anaya said softly to Jim who nodded his agreement.

"Kirk to Enterprise. Beam us outta here!"

"Standby, locking on your signal," came the reply. The team stumbled as the platform started to retract. Unprepared for the sudden movement, Anaya fell backwards and over the edge.

"I can't lock onto you. Don't move. Don't move!" The transporter officer said urgently.

"Lee!" Jim dove off the edge after Anaya. "Lee! Hold on!"

Unlike the last time, Jim had the advantage of not having deployed his chute and needing to accommodate that. He shot through the air like a bullet, eyes locked on the falling Anaya as she fought to slow her descent. Within seconds he had caught her, the impact sending them tumbling in circles.

"I got ya!" Jim yelled. "Now, pull my chute!"

Anaya grabbed the ripcord at Jim's shoulder, yanking on it, feeling the fabric eject from his pack and for a split second they stopped. Then the familiar, horrifying sound of fabric ripping and the chute failing.

"Kirk to Enterprise! We're falling without a chute! Beam us up!" Jim called out.

"I'm trying. I can't lock on your signal, you're moving too fast," the transporter officer replied.

* * *

Inside the medical bay, Leonard had patched into Anaya's frequency and heard Jim's frantic call for assistance. He looked up at the distressed sound of the crewman trying to lock on to the falling pair and then dropped his tricorder, running out the door toward the transporter room.

As he sprinted, moving without any thought for what he was going to do when he got there, he almost collided with a frantic Chekov who was running from the other direction. "Move, move, move, move, move! I can do that, I can do that! Move, move, move move!"

Instantly Leonard knew what he had to do. "Make some room, let him through!" He yelled at the crewman in the hallway, pushing ahead and clearing the way for Chekov.

"Jim…." Anaya's voice whispered in Leonard's ear, filled with unspoken fear.

"You still got lives Kitten," Leonard heard Jim reply to Anaya as he burst into the transporter room with Chekov hot on his heels.

"Give me radio control, I can lock on!" Chekov ordered, pushing the officer away from her station and taking hold of the controls.

"Beam us out!" Jim's voice ordered over the comms. " _Enterprise,_ where are you?"

"Hold on, hold on!" Chekov said. Leonard watched as the computerised images of Anaya and Jim were tracked on the screen, and Chekov expertly manoeuvred the transporter to lock on to them.

"Now, now, now!" Anaya's panicked voice called out.

"Do it now!" Jim's voice echoed Anaya's. "Now, now, now!"

"Dammit man what are you waiting for? Get them outta there!" Leonard said to Chekov who ignored him.

"Don't move! Hold on! Computating gravitational pull and..." He hit a couple of buttons, and on the screen the red lines of the transporter lined up with that of Jim and Anaya, forming a lock. "Gotcha!"

A second later Jim and Anaya slammed into the transporter pad in front of them, cringing, their eyes closed as if they'd just been about to hit the ground.

"Oh! Yah-my-oo!" Chekov shouted excitedly.

"God!" Leonard exclaimed, racing over the pad.

"Thanks," Anaya said, still clinging to Jim as they lay unmoving.

"No problem," he said with a smile.

"Dammit you two!" Leonard cursed, kneeling down and breathing a sigh of relief.

The door behind them slid open and Spock entered the room, moving swiftly to an unused transporter pad. "Clear the pad. I'm beaming to the surface." Leonard helped Anaya to her feet as Jim pushed himself up.

"The surface of what?" Anaya asked the Vulcan.

"What, are you going down there? Are you nuts? Spock, you can't do that?!" Jim said. Leonard pulled Anaya off the transporter and then reached out for Jim's arm, tugging him away from the machine.

Spock ignored them, kneeling down on the pad and then glancing up at Chekov. "Energise," he ordered.

"Spock!" Jim called out, but it was pointless to argue, the Vulcan was already gone. Jim turned to look at Chekov. "Don't forget our pilot."

Ignoring the missing pilot and Vulcan, Leonard grabbed his two friends in a group hug, squeezing them tightly against his chest. "You two have got to stop doing that to me."

"Hey, he caught me this time," Anaya joked and Jim laughed.

"I didn't let you get as much of a head start," he replied. Leonard took a step back, scowling at the pair of them.

"This isn't funny!"

"Well..." Anaya said with a shrug.

"...It's a little funny," Jim finished for her, chuckling. Beside them a weary looking Sulu materialised on the pad, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Sulu! Welcome back!" Jim said, clapping the man on the back. "Sorry to drop out on you there."

"Well, clinging to a drill was slightly less precarious than falling from it," Sulu smiled.

Leonard shook his head, grabbing Anaya by the arm and pulling her to the side. "You could have died."

"But I didn't," she replied.

"But you could've," he argued. Anaya took his hand in hers, squeezing.

"But I _didn't."_

"Hey, she's still got seven lives," Jim cut in, walking over and clapping Leonard on the back, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Six!" Leonard and Anaya responded in unison.

"Six?" Jim asked, "What happened to seven?"

"That's it," Leonard exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "The pair of you are out of your cotton pickin minds!" He pointed at Anaya: "You...you're not a cat! And you…" He spun on Jim, pushing his outstretched finger into the young man's chest. "...you're reckless, and…"

"Bones! We're alive! You gotta calm down," Jim interrupted, still smiling.

"Don't tell me to calm down, I'm the doctor here!"

"Mac, hey," Anaya cut off the retort that Jim was still trying to come up with by shoving him toward the door. "Come here," she said, pulling Leonard aside. "This is our job, this is what we do."

"I hate this," Leonard muttered, shaking his head.

"I know you do," she replied, locking eyes with him. Almost two years of pent up frustration passed between them as they stared deeply at each other. Finally, unable to take it any longer, Leonard grabbed Anaya and pulled her roughly into him, kissing her hard. She moaned in response, her hands tangling into his hair as she pressed her lips to his. Anaya opened her eyes after a moment to see Jim beaming happily at them both.

"Spock to Enterprise. Get us out now!" The Vulcan's voice sounded over the comm, pulling everyone back into the danger of the moment. Wherever Spock had gone, he didn't have long. Anaya and Leonard broke apart, both of them breathing heavily.

"We gotta talk," he said, looking at her.

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Locking on you. Don't move. Stay right where you are," Chekov said, ignorant of what was going on behind him as he focused on the screen and Spock.

"Are we good?" Jim asked, stepping between Leonard and Anaya, clapping them on the shoulders. "Guys?"

"Dammit man, mind your own business," Leonard snapped.

"Transport in five...four….three….two…." Chekov counted down as the trio continued to talk.

"You two are my business," Jim replied.

"I'm losing her," Chekov said, his voice alarmed. Anaya crossed immediately to the screen and saw one of the people from the surface wavering on the screen. "I'm losing her, I'm losing her! No, I've lost her," Chekov announced. Seconds later five people appeared on the transporter pad. Spock's face was the closest Anaya had ever seen it come to shock as he looked to an empty pad, his hand outstretched.

"Mother..." Spock uttered and the crushing horror of what had just occurred hit them all.

* * *

"Spock!" Anaya raced after the retreating figure of their acting captain, finally cornering him in a secluded corner of the level 1 medical bay. They'd escaped the immediate danger of the newly formed singularity, and now faced the more devastating consequences and choices.

"Lieutenant, how can I assist?" His voice was steady, though there was a ripple of something else underneath. Anaya sucked in a deep breath, not wanting to broach the subject, now of all times, yet not seeing another alternative.

"Comman… Captain… I'm sorry for your loss, I really am. But logistically, I need to know what our next move is. Our weapons are severely damaged, we have no…"

"Lieutenant," Spock interrupted. "We will address this shortly on the Bridge."

"But we need to move now!" Anaya insisted. "Captain Pike…"

"Is likely dead."

Anaya stopped short of what she had been about to say, as if he had slapped her across the face. Pike was like a father to her, to many of them, and she was steadfastly holding to the hope that he could be rescued - not unlike Spock when he had beamed to the surface of Vulcan less than an hour ago.

"I refuse to believe that, he's a fighter, he will be expecting us to go after him," she said, her voice shaky as she started to run various scenarios through her mind. "We can contact Starfleet, get them to send…"

"Captain Pike ordered us to regroup with the fleet, that is our most logical course of action right now," Spock interrupted again.

"But…"

"I will not place the lives of every man and woman aboard this ship at risk on a foolhardy mission," Spock continued.

"How can you say that? Every person on this ship would _die_ for Captain Pike, you can't just…"

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant, but I am applying logic you are emotionally unable to do right now," he said, pushing past her and starting to walk away. Anaya spun around to watch him, feeling her control start to slip.

"Oh for God's sake! How can you _not?_ Spock, what is wrong with you?" Anaya called out, cringing as the crew in the medical bay, Leonard included, looked up from what they were doing. Spock turned slowly, looked at her with the same unemotional face that he reserved for everyone, calm and collected; far from what Anaya was feeling.

"Miss Lee, I suggest you take a moment to get a hold of your emotions, as I know you are perfectly capable of doing, and do your job. You are the head of Security, and the best tactical officer I have under my command, I need you on that Bridge in thirty minutes. Am I understood?" His voice was low, she doubted that the rest of the crew even heard him, but there was an air to his manner that conveyed what he'd said despite the lack of audio.

"Yes, sir," she replied, feeling the tendrils of panic clutch at her heart. Spock was gone before she could add anything further to the discussion, and she wrapped her arms around herself, leaning her back to the wall. Anaya took a few deep breaths, the enormity of everything that had just occurred in such a short amount of time, was proving too much for her body to handle. Every muscle in her body ached from the extremity of what they'd just experienced.

She'd space dived from the shuttle, 20,000 metres onto a drill hanging in the Vulcan atmosphere. Fought off an assailant, and then almost plummeted to her death. Emotionally she was fraught: Vulcan - the place that had been home to her in the last few months - had just been turned into a black hole, taking the majority of its inhabitants into oblivion. Captain Pike was captured, aboard the enemy ship _Narada,_ and they didn't even know if he was still alive. Now it looked as if a rescue attempt wouldn't even be attempted.

Troubled eyes met hers across the medical bay, and she watched as Leonard quickly closed the distance between them, a harried glance in Spock's direction followed by an inquisitive one as he reached her.

"Are you looking to be discharged? Yelling at the Captain in a crowded medical bay?" He asked. As she stubbornly stuck her chin out, he assessed her with his medical mind, taking in that she was none the worse for wear physically - nothing broken or dislocated - but the signs of physical exhaustion were wearing on her, and psychologically they were all feeling distressed regardless of one's relationship with the Captain.

" _Acting_ captain," Anaya replied, her eyes narrowing and at once Leonard knew exactly what the two had been arguing about.

"He's not going after Captain Pike?" He deduced. Anaya shook her head fiercely, sending red tendrils around her pale face. Her eyes filled with tears threatening to overspill.

"How can he do that?"

"Hey," Leonard said, his brow creasing into concern. He reached out and took her into his arms. She melted into him, allowing him to pull her behind a screen where they had some privacy.

"We...we have a seriously emotionally inept Vulcan in charge. He's going to _logically_ take us to the Laurentian System. There won't be a rescue attempt, Mac! He's going to just let him die!" Anaya's lip trembled as she buried her face into his shoulder, her hands gripping his waist tightly.

"Well… he might already be…"

"Don't! Just _don't…._ okay? He's alive, I know it. And if we had any sense of loyalty… of …"

"Lee, Spock is just doing what he thinks is best for the crew," Leonard gently cut in.

"I don't _care!"_ She replied, pushing him away from her and glaring. "He's our _captain!"_

"God you sound like Jim, will you listen to yourself?" Leonard said, his mouth twisting with frustration. "Sometimes sacrifices have to be made, sometimes we have to put the needs of the majority over those of the few."

"And now you sound like Spock!" She snapped.

"You know what, the last thing _anyone_ needs right now is a captain, acting or not, going off half-cocked like …"

"Jim?"

"Yes, like Jim! Okay? The pair of you… you're bull headed, impulsive, emotional and more often than not act without thinking the consequences through…" Anaya's dark expression made him stop, and he sighed, running a hand across his face.

"Why don't you tell me how you really feel Mac?"

"We are _all_ running on adrenaline - we're fatigued and emotionally compromised right now," he offered, reaching a hand for her which she rejected, taking another step back. "Spock is right, Anaya. You need to get a grip, you need to do your job. It's what Pike would want."

"Don't you tell me what he'd want," she whispered. "If you won't help me, I'll find someone who will." Anaya pushed past Leonard, walking quickly for the exit, mind intent on her next course of action.

"Oh, sure, go running to Jim, why don't you?!" Leonard called out after her. "Just like you always do!"

Anaya spun on her heel, and if looks could kill Leonard would most certainly be dead. What he couldn't see was the way his comment sliced through her heart like a knife. "At least I know whose side he's on," she lashed out, and then she ran from the medical bay.

Leonard stared after her, wanting to chase her down, to tell her that he _was_ on her side. He had already weighed up what he thought their next course of action should be - but life in Starfleet didn't give them the luxury of acting on their own principles primarily.

As a doctor, he had to consider the safety of everyone on the ship, and where they were concerned, he had to agree with Spock - regrouping with the fleet at Laurentia was the best option. He scowled, wishing he had the same sense of impulsiveness Anaya and Jim had that enabled them to make decisions most wouldn't.

"Doctor?" Christine's voice interrupted his thoughts and he looked over at her, frowning. "We need you." With a sigh, he let Anaya drop from the front of his mind, returning to the present and the wounded. He had to work through this and then get to the bridge to weigh in on the Officer's Meeting.

* * *

The mood on the Bridge was tense, to say the least, when Leonard arrived. Jim and Anaya were already there, the latter ignoring him as he tried to catch her gaze, while Jim lounged in the captain's chair.

Spock was the last to arrive, moving to stand beside Uhura. "Have you confirmed that Nero is headed for Earth?"

"Their trajectory suggests no other destination, Captain," she replied.

"Thank you, Lieutenant," he said, turning to look at Jim.

"Earth may be his next stop," Jim announced, "but we have to assume every Federation planet's a target."

"Out of the chair," Spock said as he started to pace the room. Jim raised an eyebrow in amusement, but complied, standing up.

"Well, if the Federation is a target, why didn't they destroy us?" Chekov asked from his station.

"Why would they? Why waste the weapons? You know... we obviously weren't a threat," Sulu offered. The crushing reality of that statement could not have been more overstated. _The Enterprise,_ indeed the entire fleet now destroyed alongside Vulcan, had been no match for the sheer size and firepower of the _Narada._

"That is not it. He said he wanted me to see something. The destruction of my home planet," Spock said.

"How the Hell did they do that, by the way?" Leonard cut in, his scientific mind going to the fact that they'd just seen a black hole created out of nothing.

"Yeah," Anaya agreed. "Where did the Romulans get that kind of weaponry? They're not that advanced… are they?"

"The engineering comprehension necessary to artificially create a black hole may suggest an answer. Such technology could theoretically be manipulated to create a tunnel through space-time," Spock answered.

"Dammit man, I'm a doctor, not a physicist," Leonard cursed, still attempting to wrap his mind around what had just been proposed.

"Are you actually suggesting they're from the future?" Anaya asked incredulously.

"If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth," Spock replied without the slightest inflection of sarcasm in his voice.

"How poetic," Leonard scoffed, shaking his head. Spock was dead serious, Anaya realised, which made the premise all the more startling. Romulans, from the future? Just what really was going on here?

"Then, what would an angry, future Romulan want with Captain Pike?" Jim asked, bringing the topic back to the more pressing issue.

"As Captain, he does know details of Starfleet's defences," Anaya responded. She'd already talked to Jim about that possibility, this conversation had played out a dozen different ways in the ten minutes leading up to this meeting: each time they'd come to the same conclusion, Spock was not going to go after the _Narada._ This realisation wasn't going to stop them from trying.

"What we need to do is catch up to that ship. Disable it, take it over, and get Pike back," Jim declared.

"I concur," Anaya said, noticing Leonard roll his eyes at the obvious ploy by the pair of them.

"We are technologically outmatched in every way. A rescue attempt would be illogical," Spock answered.

"Nero's ship would have to drop out of warp for us to overtake him," Chekov mused, the young man turning his mind to the possibilities.

"Then, what about assigning engineering crews to try and boost our warp gear?" Jim countered.

"Remaining power and crew are being used to repair radiation leaks on the lower decks..." Spock answered.

"Okay, alright. There's gotta be some way..." Jim walked up to their acting captain as he spoke, attempted to interrupt Spock's line of thought to no avail.

"...we must gather with the rest of Starfleet, to balance the terms of the next engagement."

"There won't be a next engagement," Anaya cut in.

"She's right. By the time we've gathered, it'll be too late. But you say he's from the future, knows what's going to happen, then the logical thing is to be unpredictable," Jim argued. Anaya marvelled at his quick thinking, easily trying to use the new information about their time travelling attackers to their advantage.

"You are assuming that Nero knows how events are predicted to unfold," Spock replied, locking his hands behind his back and pacing slightly. "To the contrary, Nero's very presence has altered the flow of history, beginning with the attack on the _USS Kelvin_ , culminating in the events of today, thereby creating an entire new chain of incidents that cannot be anticipated by either party."

"An alternate reality?" Uhura asked. Spock nodded.

"Precisely. Whatever our lives might have been, if the time continuum is disrupted, our destinies have changed." Spock walked away from Jim returning to the centre of the room and sitting in the Captain's chair. "Mr. Sulu, plot a course to the Laurentian system warp factor three."

"Spock, don't do that. Running back to the rest of the fleet for a, a, a confab is a massive waste of time..." Jim said.

" ...orders issued by Captain Pike when he left..." Spock countered.

"He also ordered us to go back and get him," Anaya jumped in. "Spock, you are captain now! You have to be..."

Their arguments seemed to be falling on deaf ears. The crew around the three head officers were silent, seemingly unwilling to offer an opinion to support either side of the argument. Spock turned to look at Anaya, infuriatingly unemotional as he had been the entire time, while she felt her temper rising once again. "I am aware of my responsibilities, Lieutenant..."

"Every second we waste, Nero's getting closer to his next target," she argued, throwing her hand up at the currently blank screen.

"That is correct and why I am instructing you to accept the fact that I alone am in command..."

"I will not allow us to go backwards..." Jim announced.

"Jim, he's the captain!" Leonard exclaimed.

"...instead of hunting Nero down!" Jim continued.

The Vulcan stood, looking Jim squarely in the eyes as he argued. "Security. Escort him out," Spock ordered, looking not to Anaya but to the two remaining officers on the deck wearing red tunics. They moved without question, and Jim struggled as they attempted to take his arms.

"Enough, Jim!" Leonard cried out as punches were thrown. Anaya would have stepped in if it weren't for the fact that Jim was actually winning – she reacted too late to Spock's intervention, the Vulcan stepping in as Jim held one of the officers across a station, his back to the acting Captain. With a pinch of two fingers to his neck, Jim went down to the famous Vulcan nerve pinch.

"Get him off this ship," Spock ordered.

"What?!" Anaya exclaimed. "No! Are you crazy?"

"He is creating disorder," Spock replied, turning back to the head officers.

"You can't just throw him off the ship," Anaya pointed out. "There are regulations… how about basic human decency..."

"I am the Captain," Spock cut in. "I am giving you an order, Lieutenant."

Anaya bristled. She wasn't one to disobey direct commands, but this was out of line, and she wasn't about to stand for it. Whatever was going on, Spock might be acting calm and collected on the surface, but he was far from logical in this moment.

"No."

"Lee, for God's sake!" Leonard exclaimed.

"Then you shall join him," Spock announced. "Security."

"Spock, come on, this is getting out of control," Leonard attempted to intervene, stepping up to the Vulcan. "She doesn't mean it, neither of them do, it's been a long, trying…."

"Doctor. I have given the Lieutenant a direct order and she has disobeyed it, what would you have me do?" Spock asked.

"Throw them in the brig, I don't know!" Leonard said, throwing his hand in the air.

"That would give Mister Kirk the opportunity to escape and create more disorder. If the Lieutenant wishes to be confined, she may, but Kirk will be placed on the nearest M class planet." Spock said.

"That'll be Delta Vega, sir," Sulu announced, looking at his screen.

"Thank you Mister Sulu, please prepare an escape pod for Mister Kirk."

"I'll take my chances with Kirk, sir," Anaya said.

"Of course you will," Leonard muttered, shaking his head.

"That is… illogical," Spock replied, looking at the security officer who had crossed her arms over her chest.

"You're talking about stranding a man on an iceblock, I won't abandon my friend," Anaya replied.

"Our duty supercedes our friendships, Lieutenant," Spock pointed out, and Leonard watched Anaya, imploring her with his eyes.

"Dammit woman, listen to the man!" He said.

"Permission to accompany Kirk, _sir,"_ Anaya said stiltedly, staring down Spock who was not flinching in any way at her anger.

"Denied."

"Right," Leonard said, holding his hand out. "There you go. That's settled."

* * *

Moments later Leonard was following Anaya down a corridor to the nearest escape pod, she was fuming, furiously attempting to figure out a way to keep them on the _Enterprise._ She was also failing.

"Thanks for the back up in there, Mac," she growled at the doctor who sighed, his mouth forming a straight line.

"Lee, this is crazy," he said.

"Yeah? Well it's about to get a whole lot crazier," she announced.

"Is that even possible?" Leonard muttered.

Officer Hendorff, better known as _Cupcake_ thanks to Jim, opened the hatch to the escape pod, stepping back to allow the two security officers dragging Jim to approach. Anaya ducked ahead of them and looked inside at the controls, noting there was definitely enough room for two.

"Put him inside," she said to them as they got closer. As the officers manoeuvred Jim inside, she stepped back toward Leonard, lowering her voice. "I'm going with him."

"What?" Leonard asked. "You heard Spock. You're under orders. Are you mad?"

"I'm starting to think I'm the only sane one around here. And I'm not leaving Jim alone in the middle of nowhere," she replied.

"Lee, you can't do this."

"Come with us," she said softly, trying not to draw attention to the conversation as Jim was positioned inside the pod by Hendorff, his space harness clipped into place for safety.

"You can't be serious," Leonard replied.

"We'll figure something out. Jim always has a plan. But … but if not, you're going into war… without us," she said, and the thought terrified her. She felt as if she was being ripped in two, her loyalties divided between where her heart wanted to be, and what her conscience was telling her to do.

"Lee, your duty is here," Leonard stubbornly pressed.

"I won't abandon him, Spock is making a mistake," she answered.

"All right, maybe he is, but just because the man spilled water, doesn't mean you have to slip in it," Leonard countered. Anaya sighed, looking up into his eyes. She didn't want to fight any more, it was wearing on her soul, eating at the good things she desperately held on to.

"Good thing I know how to swim, now are you coming or not?" She said with a hesitant smile.

"I… I can't..." Leonard said. "I'm needed here."

"Dammit Mac, _we_ need you! Don't make me choose!" Anaya replied. She ran a frustrated hand through her hair, pulling the tie that was holding it out and then refashioning her hair into bun at the base of her neck. Leonard knew it to be a nervous habit of Anaya's, something she did when she was thinking or needing reassurance about something. She needed him to tell her everything was all right, but their current situation was anything but that.

"I've never asked you to choose, Anaya, not once," he pointed out wearily. "You still pick him every time."

"He's not even conscious!"

Hendorff exited the pod, seemingly satisfied that Jim was secure in his seat. Anaya looked furiously at him, and he took a few steps back from the doorway. One step in to Leonard, Anaya leaned up to his ear, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I don't have a choice," she whispered.

Before anyone could argue, she stepped quickly into the pod and closed the door, locking it from the inside and hitting the launch sequence. Through the round window, she saw Leonard's distressed face, saw his lips move as he said her name. Reaching out she placed her hand against the window, Leonard moved to mirror it with his own.

The computer started to countdown the launch, and as it reached the final minute she smiled sadly at Leonard, and then pushed the comm button. "I love you, Leonard," she announced. The last thing she saw, before collapsing into her seat was Leonard's surprised face, standing on the other side of the glass as the airlock sealed and then the escape pod was ejected from the ship toward the icy planet of Delta Vega.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES**

Edited 11th Jan 2017 - thanks to systemman for pointing out that I never really addressed what happened to Sulu after Jim and Anaya fell... he did, clearly, make it back safely :)


	8. Chapter 8 - In Medias Res

IN MEDIAS RES

* * *

 _Yuanfen - the "binding force" that links two people together in any relationship._

* * *

Anaya was already scouting their exit from the escape pod when Jim awoke with a loud groan.

"Agggh. Where am I?" He spoke to no one in particular. Anaya glanced back at him from the hatch, pensive.

"Delta Vega," she supplied.

"Class-M planet. Unsafe," the computer chimed in.

"There's a Starfleet outpost fourteen kilometers to the northwest," Anaya added. "Computer, silence." She turned to sigh at Jim. "I didn't feel like listening to the ' _remain in your pod'_ lecture."

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me. What are you doing here?" Jim muttered, struggling into a seated position. His eyes blinked a few times, and peered at her blearily.

"Ruining my career," Anaya replied as she pushed the hatch up, groaning from the effort. With a begrudging moan the hinges finally gave way, and opened upon an icy tunnel, straight up. The pod had landed hard, even with Anaya's piloting skills and attempt to slow them down, and dug them at least twenty feet into the icy landscape.

"Told you I was a bad influence," Jim chuckled, standing up to look up through the hatch with Anaya.

"Yeah, well, someone has to look after your ass," she grinned, pulling her snow jacket on.

"Bones is gonna be spittin' chips," Jim said as he analysed their way out. Sheer, icy walls made for some difficult climbing. He looked around the pod for climbing gear, but of course, there was none.

"He's not real happy, no," Anaya replied.

"I can't believe he let you come with me," he said, gripping a shard of ice sticking out of the side. He applied his weight and it held. Glancing at Anaya, he stepped back. "Ladies first."

Not arguing, she gripped the hand hold and pulled herself up, digging her feet into the side by kicking at the ice until it presented a foothold. Another jagged edge gave her a handhold higher up, she swung, missed and hit the icy wall. Jim exclaimed out loud, moving to position himself under her, bracing her foot.

"Easy there," he said.

"Yeah," she muttered, trying again with the handhold. This time she caught it and pulled. As she scaled the ice wall, she thought about Leonard back on the _Enterprise_ and what he was likely going through.

"He didn't exactly _let_ me come, he argued, of course," she said after a moment, grunting and pulling herself the last few feet up to the top of the white plateau. A blast of arctic wind washed over her, and even in a snow jacket, she was left shivering.

She tossed the rope she'd found, in the pod with the jackets, down to Jim, bracing herself to help pull him up.

"I can _not_ believe Spock did this," Jim complained as he reached the top. The weather had really started to pick up, and a storm was closing in on them. Anaya pulled the hood of her snow jacket up around her head and looked at Jim.

"You really made an impact on him, he sure hates your ass," she said as they stood up, squinting into the swirling white landscape.

"And I have such a cute ass," Jim joked.

"Don't push it," Anaya replied. "I'm trying to be positive."

"Cheer up!" Jim said as they located northwest on their computerised armbands and started to walk. "It could be worse." Anaya gaped at him, the sharp crunch of snow underfoot like nails across a blackboard to her senses.

"Jim, when in our entire, albeit limited careers, has the situation ever been worse than now?" She asked, trudging forward as the young man paused.

"Well, there was that time…" he stopped as Anaya turned to glare at him. "Well… no, I guess not." She smirked at him and then started walking toward the outpost again.

"What about that time with the Rigellian Trade Commission…"

"No!" Anaya cut him off.

"I'm sure there's something!" Jim called out, starting to hurry after her.

"No there's not!" Anaya called back.

Jim lagged behind Anaya, stewing over the way they had been left on Delta Vega without so much as a being energised down to the planet and a warm outpost. He pushed a button on his wristband and started recording. "Stardate twenty-two fifty-eight point four two, four uh, four whatever. _Acting_ Captain Spock has marooned me and Lieutenant Lee on Delta Vega, what I believe to be a violation of security protocol forty-nine point oh nine, covering the treatment of prisoners aboard a starship."

A howl from behind Jim stopped him short. He looked up to see a large, quadruped racing toward them, jaws wide open, fur flattened against its back as it picked up speed, growling.

"Whoah," Jim said, starting to pick up his pace toward Anaya. "Agh!"

She turned at the exclamation and took in the beast that was gaining on them. They'd been left without weapons, other than hand-to-hand… "Definitely not…" she muttered to herself, turning running.

"Whooooah, run Lee! Go go go!" Jim yelled as he gained on her. It was only a matter of seconds before they lost their way in the difficult terrain. They slipped and fell along a sheet of ice, regaining their feet just in time to have the indigenous creature, which seemed hellbent on eating them, slide to a stop. It fell on the same ice they had, but caught itself with a roar, reorienting on their position.

A rumble sounded, snow sprayed up through the air hitting them with sharp icicles as an even larger creature broke the surface under the beast that had been pursuing them.

"Ahhhh!" Jim cried out.

"Oh my God!" Anaya echoed, staring in fascinated horror as the new six legged, praying mantis-looking creature chomped down on the furry creature.

"Ruuuuun!" Jim said, pushing her in the other direction and starting to follow his own advice. He kept Anaya ahead of him, pushing her when she slipped, as the insect monster gave chase. They reached the edge of a slope, and slid down it, coming upon a cave. "There!" Jim called out, pointing.

Anaya had no sooner gotten to her feet, struggling toward the entrance with Jim's help, they pushed themselves further into the cave, ducking and weaving behind stalagmites on the ground, the ceiling getting lower, but not deterring their hunter.

It snapped at Jim with large jaws, missing him by inches, as he stumbled backwards. Out of nowhere came a tall man in a hooded cloak, bearing a fire torch. He waved it at the creature and it reared back with a whine, hissing, contemplating another attack but the fire clearly giving it pause for thought. The man waved the torch a few more times in the air, and the insect left the cavern.

Jim chivalrously pushed Anaya behind him, breathing hard, as their saviour turned to look at them.

"James T. Kirk," the older man said.

"Excuse me?" Jim asked.

"How did you find me?" The man queried.

"How do you know his name?" Anaya replied to his question with one of her own.

"I know both your names, Anaya Lee," the man answered, pushing back his hood and revealing himself as an older Vulcan. "I have been, and always shall be, your friend."

"Wha…?" Jim stuttered, glancing at Anaya. "Oh, look... uh, I don't know you."

"I am Spock," he said to them.

"Bullshit!" Jim and Anaya said in unison, their mouths dropping open.

The next few moments were a blur for the two cadets. The older Spock led them further into the tunnel. He had a fire lit, and they crouched around it, hands outstretched and attempting to thaw from the cold, icy snow outside.

"It is remarkably pleasing to see you again, old friends. Especially after the events of today," Spock said, taking a seat on a rock next to the fire. Jim and Anaya exchanged a look that clearly said they thought the man was senile, and then Jim cleared his throat, speaking.

"Uh, sir I appreciate what you did for us back there, but, but if you were Spock you would know we're not friends at all. You hate me, you marooned me here for mutiny," he said, standing and pacing beside the fire.

"Mutiny?" Spock was clearly surprised by this admission.

"You expected something less?" Anaya asked. "It is Jim…"

Spock chuckled, shaking his head slightly at them. "And you followed?"

Anaya smirked, crossing her arms and looking up at Jim. "As always…"

"Much to the despair of Dr McCoy, I'm sure," Spock said. Anaya looked sharply at the man, as did Jim. While the precarious bond between the three of them was well known among the cadets, this was not generally something they expected people to know outside of their classmates and immediate supervisors.

"Some things don't change…" Anaya said carefully, glancing at Jim. "Who are you?"

"I told you, I am Spock, and I know you all extremely well. Some things might not change," he looked at Jim, and sighed. "Some do. You are not the Captain?"

Jim shrugged, seemingly accepting Spock's claims at face value. "No, no. Umm... you're the Captain. Pike was taken hostage."

"By Nero," Spock said.

"What do you know about him?" Anaya asked, her eyes narrowing. She could feel her heartbeat start to race at the thought of Captain Pike in the clutches of this man, _if_ he was even still alive, she didn't want to think about what they might be doing to him.

"He is a particularly troubled Romulan," Spock answered, confirming her fears. "Please, allow me. It will be easier." Spock stood up and moved toward Jim, reaching his hands out to his face. Jim jumped up, looking alarmed.

"Whoah, whoah. What are you doin'?"

"Our minds," Spock explained. "One and together."

Jim glanced at Anaya, and she nodded cautiously. She'd come across the mind meld while on Vulcan, but never experienced it. There was said to be a great many side effects to the procedure.

"Is it safe?" She asked, looking at Spock.

"I am capable of keeping his mind protected. I can only meld with one," Spock said. "One of you needs to see what I've seen, know what I know."

Anaya nodded and waved her hand at Jim. "He's the First Officer."

Jim threw her a glare, but then looked at Spock, nodding. "Okay, let's do this." Spock stepped up to him and placed his hands either side of Jim's head, his fingers splaying across his forehead, and began to speak:

"One hundred twenty-nine years from now, a star will explode, and threaten to destroy the galaxy. That is where I'm from, Jim. The future. The star went supernova...consuming everything in its path."

Anaya watched as Jim started to see the images that Spock was speaking of, as if he'd been there, as if he was in Spock's mind. He gasped for air, and Spock continued with his recount of events:

"I promised the Romulans that I would save their planet... We outfitted our fastest ship. Using red matter, I would create a black hole, which would absorb the exploding star. I was en route, when the unthinkable happened. The supernova destroyed Romulus. I had little time. I had to extract the red matter, and shoot it into the supernova. As I began my return trip, I was intercepted. He called himself Nero. Last of the Romulan Empire. In my attempt to escape, both of us were pulled into the black hole. Nero went through first. He was the first to arrive…"

"The USS Kelvin…" Anaya stated from the outer, following the story as best she could.

"Yes," Spock replied, "Nero spent the next twenty-five years awaiting my arrival. But what was years for Nero, was only seconds for me. I went through the black hole. Nero was waiting for me. He held me responsible for the loss of his world. He captured my vessel, and spared my life for one reason. So that I would know his pain. He beamed me here, so that I could observe his vengeance. As he was helpless to save his planet, I would be helpless to save mine. Billions of lives lost, because of me, Jim. Because, I failed."

The mind meld came to an end, and Jim broke away, falling to his knees and leaning heavily on a rock. Anaya moved quickly to his side, noting he was sweating profusely, his breath short and broken. As he looked up at her, tears fell down his face as he silently worked through what he'd seen.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Forgive me," Spock said from beside them. "Emotional transference is an effect of the mind meld."

"So you do feel?" Anaya asked, looking up at him.

"Yes."

Jim pushed himself up, turning around to look at the Vulcan. "Going back in time, you changed all our lives."

"Jim, we must go," Spock replied. "There is a Starfleet outpost not far from here."

"Wait," Jim cut in. "Where you came from, did I know my father?" Anaya looked at Spock, curious.

"Yes. You often spoke of him as being your inspiration for joining Starfleet. He proudly lived to see you become Captain of the _Enterprise_." Jim gaped.

"Captain?"

"A ship we must return you to as soon as possible," Spock continued.

* * *

 _ **Enterprise Bridge**_

Leonard had been summoned to the Bridge by Spock, and he had no doubt what it was about. He was still simmering over the chain of events that had led to seeing his two best friends thrown off the ship, marooned on an ice planet. He'd already started to kick himself for being the cautious one, wondered how on earth Anaya had ever been interested in him - and how she could love him - when he was the complete opposite of her.

"Warp three, sir," Ensign Sulu said to Spock as Leonard entered through the doors.

"Course one-five-one-mark-three, Laurentian system, sir." Chekov confirmed.

"Thank you, gentleman," Spock replied, turning to look at Leonard as he reached the side of the Captain.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, Doctor. I am aware that James Kirk and Anaya Lee are friends of yours," he said. Leonard raised an eyebrow, secure in the knowledge that he had been summoned to discuss exactly what he expected. "I recognize that supporting me as you did must have been difficult."

"Is that a thank you?" Leonard asked.

"I am simply acknowledging your difficulties," Spock answered. Leonard sucked in a breath, debating whether or not to speak his mind. He decided to let Spock decide whether he wanted to hear it or not.

"Permission to speak freely, sir," he said.

"I welcome it," Spock replied openly.

Leonard smirked. "Do you?" He asked, leaning back a little and taking in the man before him. "Okay, then." He leaned in toward Spock, and lowered his voice. "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!" He snapped. "Are you making the logical choice, sending Kirk away? Probably, but the right one?" He shook his head questioningly. "Because of it Lee has gone with him, and next to yourself, she's the best tactical officer you got. You know, back home we got a saying, "If you're gonna ride in the Kentucky Derby, you don't leave your prize stallion in the stable."

"A curious metaphor, Doctor, as a stallion must first be broken before it can reach its potential." Spock answered. Leonard snorted, the pure stubbornness of his own personality hitting that of the Captain's logical disconnect.

"My god, man. You could at least act like it was a hard decision," he snapped, feeling what he said settle into his chest. It had been a hard decision from his position, and perhaps he just wanted to know that their new commander had it in him to … feel… something.

"I intend to assist in the effort to reestablish communication with Starfleet. However, if crew morale was better served by my roaming the halls weeping, I will gladly defer to your medical expertise," Spock replied without an ounce of emotion. He looked up as the door behind them opened, and his father Sarek entered the Bridge. "Excuse me." Pushing past the doctor, Spock left his side, and Leonard scowled at the retreating back.

"Green-blooded hobgoblin!" He muttered to himself, feeling even more worried for Jim and Anaya than he had when he'd entered the Bridge.

* * *

 _ **Delta Vega Outpost**_

As they entered the outpost, a weird alien language could be heard and they followed the sound down the empty hallways, lit with an eerie green light.

"Hello?!" Jim called out, pausing as a tiny little creature scurried up to them. Anaya looked curiously at the alien, who was lucky to reach Jim's waist in height, and smiled. His green skin was hard and knotted, almost like the bark of a tree. His nose flat like a pug, topped by two impenetrable black orbs for eyes that sat inside sunken pits. She'd never seen anything like it, especially dressed in human clothes of an oversized shirt, with a welding apron over the top.

Without a word, the creature turned and led them through a series of corridors in the outpost, finally bringing them to into a lab of science equipment, computer terminals and other engineering gear. Sitting at one of the workbenches was a man in a large khaki jacket, a beanie over his head, and his feet crossed and resting up on the bench. He most certainly wasn't in a Starfleet uniform, nor acting like he belonged in the Federation.

"What?" The man asked as they all looked at him. "You realise how unacceptable this is?"

"Fascinating," Spock said.

"What?" Anaya asked, glancing at the Vulcan.

"Yeah, I'm sure you're just doing your job, but could you not come a wee bit sooner?" The man asked in a heavy Scottish accent, putting his feet down on the ground and waving his hand, gesturing to his surroundings. "Six months I've been here, living off Starfleet protein nibs and a promise of a good meal. And I know exactly what's going on here, okay. Punishment, isn't it? Ongoing, for something that was clearly an accident."

"You are Montgomery Scott," Spock said, Jim curiously glanced sideways at their companion.

"You know him?"

"Aye, that's me," Scott confirmed with a nod. "You're in the right place. Unless there's another hard-working, equally starved Starfleet officer around."

"Me," chirped the creature next to everyone, and Scott scoffed at him.

"Keenser, shut up! You don't eat anything. You can eat like a bean, and you're done. I'm talking about food," Scott said. "Real food. But, you're here now, so thank you. Where is it?"

"You are, in fact, the Mister Scott who postulated the theory of transwarp beaming," Spock ignored the question.

"The theory of...what?" Anaya asked.

"That's what I'm talking about," Scott nodded. "How'd you think I wound up here?" He stood up and moved to a computer terminal, sitting down with a shrug. "I had a little debate with my instructor on the issue of relativistic physics and how it pertains to subspace travel. He seemed to think that the range of transporting something like a, like a grapefruit, was limited to about a hundred miles. I told him that I could not only beam a grapefruit from one planet to the adjacent planet in the same system, which is easy by the way, I could do it with a lifeform." He paused for a moment, then continued, "so, I tested it on Admiral Archer's prized beagle."

"Wait," Jim said. "I know that dog. What happened to it?"

"I'll tell you when it reappears. I don't know." Scott admitted. "I do feel guilty about that."

"What if I told you that your transwarp theory was correct? That it is indeed possible to beam onto a ship that is travelling at warp speed?" Spock asked.

"I think if that equation had been discovered, I'd have heard about it," Scott replied.

"The reason you haven't heard about it, Mister Scott, is because you haven't discovered it yet," Spock spoke cryptically, and the man before them opened and closed his mouth a few times before shaking his head.

"I'm a, uh, what... Are you from the future?"

"Yeah," Jim said with a nod, like it was the most normal thing in the world. "He is. We're not."

Scott looked Spock over and then smiled, clapping his hands together. "Well that's brilliant. Do they still have sandwiches there?"

They did indeed still have sandwiches in the future, they were to learn, although they were created from something called a _replicator._ Spock had decided not to share much more with them, lest he unduly influence the future, and Scott seemed to be dubiously accepting what he was being told.

They moved into the hangar, where a ship was sitting, looking extremely derelict in its condition. "Well, she's a wee bit dodgy," Scott admitted, tapping on the hull. "Shield emitters are totally bandjacked, as well as a few other things. In you go." He gestured for Anaya to enter the ship. She took a breath and complied, passing Spock who was already on board and sitting at a computer station.

"So, the Enterprise has had its maiden voyage, has it? She is one well endowed lady. I'd like to get my hands on her ample nacelles, if you'll pardon the engineering parlance." Anaya smirked as Jim shook his head in amusement.

Scott turned to Spock, looking a little more concerned. "Except, the thing is, even if I believed you, right, where you're from, what I've done…. I don't, by the way…. you're still talking about beaming aboard the Enterprise while she's traveling faster-than-light, without a proper receiving pattern." He looked up at Keenser, the strange little alien sitting on top of one of the transporters.

"Get off there!" Scott snapped. "It's not a climbing tree!" The alien muttered to himself, but started to climb down, and Scott turned back to Spock. "The notion of transwarp beaming is like, trying to hit a bullet with a smaller bullet whilst wearing a blindfold, riding a horse." He only paused for breath when he noticed Spock writing an algorithm on his screen. " What's that?"

Spock finished what he was doing and then turned. "Your equation for achieving transwarp beaming." Scott mumbled to himself, reading over the equation, and then gasped.

"Imagine that. It never occurred to me to think of space as the thing that was moving."

Jim turned to Spock, gesturing to the pads. "You're coming with us, right?"

"No, Jim," Spock replied. "That is not my destiny."

"Your dest… He... the other Spock is not going to believe me. Only you can explain what's gonna happen," Jim argued. Anaya nodded her agreement.

"Under no circumstances, can he be aware of my existence. You must promise me this," Spock said. "Both of you."

Jim's face was nothing short of incredulous. "You're telling me I, I can't tell you that I'm following your own orders.

"Why not?" Anaya asked, stepping off the transporter pad, which secretly had been making her nervous. She stepped over to Spock and Jim. "What happens?"

"This is one rule you cannot break," Spock answered, looking at them both. "To stop Nero, you alone must take command of your ship."

"How? Over your dead body?" Anaya asked.

Spock smiled slightly, something they hadn't seen with the younger Spock before. "Preferably not. However, there is Starfleet regulation six-one-nine." Jim looked at Anaya questioningly who looked at Spock thoughtfully.

"Six-one-nine states that any command officer who's emotionally compromised by the mission at hand, must resign said command," she provided.

"So, so you're saying that I have to emotionally compromise you guys?"

"Jim, I just lost my planet," Spock said. "I can tell you, I am emotionally compromised. What you must do is get me to show it."

"Oh boy, well if anyone can drive someone to rage, it's you Jim," Anaya grinned.

Another smile escaped Spock's mouth. "I assure you, I'm probably half way there if your friendship with Dr McCoy is anything like the one from my time."

"Ha!" Jim said, seemingly happy to have the focus taken off him. "Those two… Bones has probably torn you a new one by now. And I'm going to be next in line for giving Lee a reason to get separated from him again."

"Jim!" Anaya chided.

"Well, it's true! You two just start to sort out your…. love… thing…. And bam, here we are," Jim said.

"Interesting," Spock said.

"What?" Anaya asked. "What's interesting?"

"Oh nothing. I cannot influence your future relationship based on a future that is now obsolete," he said.

"Wait, what?" Jim asked.

"What's obsolete?" Anaya chimed in.

"Our relationship?" Jim asked, looking at Anaya.

"Future relationship? Between me and…" She looked at Spock, pointing toward Jim. "Him?"

"Fascinating," Spock answered thoughtfully.

Jim laughed, clapping Anaya on her back as she stared at the Vulcan in shock. "I knew you had a thing for me!"

"Oh god, in your dreams Jim!" Anaya responded, rolling her eyes.

"I'm the man _of_ your dreams," Jim pushed, blowing her a kiss.

"You're the man who is going to end up with my foot in his ass," she retorted with a scowl.

"Wait'll I tell Bones," Jim laughed.

"You wouldn't dare!" She snapped in reply, looking at him in horror. "I don't… I would _never…_ Oh ewwww Jim. You're like a brother."

"I'll have you know I'm very popular with the ladies," Jim replied, looking a little hurt. He crossed his arms and frowned defensively at her.

Anaya scoffed. "Like I don't know that? I happen to prefer my men a little less promiscuous," she said.

"Like, Doctor McCoy," Spock supplied.

"Exactly, like…." She stopped, seeing Spock's slightly amused expression and then it hit her.

"He's joking."

"What?" Jim asked, suddenly confused by the change of the conversation.

"Look at his face,' Anaya said, turning Jim to face Spock. She peered over Jim's shoulder, squinting. "You're joking."

Spock didn't exactly smile, but there was a glint to his eyes that gave away the humour he was seeing in the situation. "One thing you both, as friends, taught me to have … was a sense of humour when in a life or death situation."

"A Vulcan with a sense of humour?" Jim asked dubiously.

"Half-Vulcan, as you are keen to remind when you want me to act more human," Spock replied. Jim laughed, clapping him on the shoulder and then pushed past the Vulcan to have a word with Scott. Spock, still looking at Anaya, who was mildly amused by the turn of events, leaned in and whispered:

"I assure you, in my lifetime, and it seems yours too - there has only ever been one man for you. And as much as you care about Jim, Leonard is the man you love."

"What's he saying?" Jim called out.

"Mind your own business!" Anaya snapped before nodding in agreement with Spock.

"I can tell you the feeling was always mutual," Spock said, leaving her feeling slightly floored.

"Alright, done!" Scott announced as he finished his alterations to the transporters. "If you all are done catching up, we're ready."

Jim swung himself up onto the transporter pad and looked at Anaya. "Let's do it."

She joined him on the adjacent pad and nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Aye, laddie.. Live or die, let's get this over with," Scott said, taking his place on the third pad. Keenser attempted to climb into the fourth section, but Scott pushed him back.

"You cannae come with me. Go on." The little creature stepped back, and his face looked sadly at the engineer, thought he didn't argue.

"Your coming back in time, changing history, it's cheating," Jim said, looking at Spock. Anaya chuckled.

"A trick I learned from an old friend," Spock said with a slightly upturned mouth. He held his hand in the air, fingers parting to the familiar salute Anaya had seen younger Spock use with her and Uhura before. "Live long and prosper."

* * *

 _ **Enterprise Engineering**_

The transport went relatively smoothly, but for the one thing that left Anaya gasping for air. She found herself stuck in cooling water pipes while outside in Engineering, Jim and Scott looked around frantically for her.

Pounding on the glass, she caught Jim's attention and then was washed down the pipe.

Choking on water, she braced herself when she could and pushed her fact to the pipe walls in the hopes of finding an air pocket as the water rushed past her. The struggle was futile, there was too much water, and then suddenly…. Whoosh.

The water dumped on to the deck below through a release valve.

"Turbine release valve activated," a computerised voice announced and Lee rolled onto her side, spitting up water.

"You alright?" Jim panted, reaching her side in moments. She gasped for air, and sat up, nodding.

"Yeah… I think so," Anaya replied as he breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're fast running out of lives there Kitten," Jim pointed out, ignoring the frown she tossed in reply.

"We gotta go," Anaya said. "That will activate an alert." As if on cue, klaxons started to blare their presence. Pulling Anaya to her feet, Jim grabbed her hand and started to run down a gangway. They encountered a trio of security officers, turned right and sprinted down another gangway, coming up against Jim's favourite officer Hendorff.

"Halt!" The man shouted, and the three rebels quickly found themselves surrounded by security. "Come with me, _cupcake!"_

* * *

 _ **Enterprise Bridge**_

Anaya was still dripping wet when they were escorted onto the Bridge. She's started to shiver with the coolness of their surroundings, but Spock was hardly concerned with that as he approached them, eyes flicking over Jim and Anaya until coming to rest on Montgomery Scott.

"Who are you?" He asked.

"I'm with them," Scott replied, inclining his head toward Jim and Anaya.

"He's with us," Jim confirmed.

"We're travelling at warp speed. How did you manage to beam aboard this ship?" Spock asked, getting straight to the point.

"You're the genius," Jim smirked. "You figure it out." Anaya could see that, deliberate or not, Jim's ability to irritate was already surfacing. They were surrounded by several bridge officers, Uhura and Leonard included. Anaya tried not to look at the doctor, knowing he wasn't going to like what she and Jim were setting out to achieve.

"As Acting Captain of this vessel, I order you to answer the question," Spock said.

"Well I'm not telling, Acting Captain. What di... What, now, that doesn't frustrate you, does it? My lack of cooperation. That, that doesn't make you angry." Yep, Anaya thought, they were into it already.

Spock ignored Jim and turned to Scott. "Are you a member of Starfleet?"

Scott looked uncomfortably between Spock and Jim. "I...um...yes," he answered.

"Can I get a towel, please?" Anaya cut in, hoping to turn the attention from the engineer.

Spock ignored her, looking sternly at Scott. "Under penalty of court martial, I order you to explain to me how you were able to beam aboard this ship while moving at warp."

"Well…"

"Don't answer him," Anaya instructed Scott, who closed his mouth.

"Oh god, here we go again," Leonard muttered under his breath, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You will answer me," Spock said.

"I'd rather not take sides," Scott stuttered, stepping a little backwards until he ran into the chest of a security officer behind him.

"What is it with you, Spock?" Anaya asked, shrugging out of her wet jacket and starting to wring it out on the floor. She knew that alone would annoy her if she'd been the one witnessing the action. "Hmm? Your planet was just destroyed, your mother murdered, and you're not even upset."

"If you're presuming that these experiences in any way impede my ability to command this ship, you are mistaken," Spock replied.

"And yet you were the one who said fear was necessary for command. Did you see his ship? Do you see what he did?" Jim pressed, pointing to the viewscreen which for the moment showed nothing more than the stream of stars behind them.

"Yes, of course I did."

"So, are you afraid or aren't you?" Jim asked, stepping up into Spock's personal space.

Spock met Jim's gaze head on, and looked down at the shorter man, his voice when he replied, was level and calm. "I will not allow you to lecture me about the merits of emotion."

"Then why don't you stop me," Jim challenged.

"Step away from me, Mister…"

"What is it like not to feel anger or heartbreak or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you?" Jim interrupted, Anaya wanted to cringe, but held her ground, dropping the wet jacket on the floor in case she had to intervene.

"Back away from me…"

"You feel nothing!" Jim shouted. "It must not even compute for you! You never loved her!"

Spock reacted, swinging out and punching Jim who threw himself into the Vulcan. They locked arms on each other, swinging themselves around the Bridge, exchanging blows with the Vulcan taking the advantage. They smashed into work stations as people scrambled to get out of their way. Jim landed a few punches, Spock returned them until he got the upper hand, slamming Jim onto the helm console, his right hand wrapped tightly around the man's throat as he choked him.

Anaya started to move to intervene, finding herself quickly captured by Leonard, whose arms locked around her own, pinning her back to his chest.

"Let me go Mac!" She commanded, struggling against his hold. "Spock, stop it! You'll kill him! Stop it!" She was just about resort to her hand-to-hand training, which would not go down well with Leonard, when a voice rang out.

"Spock!"

The room froze. Anaya looked over to see Sarek standing in the room, looking at Spock with unfathomable calm. Within an instant, Spock released his hold on Jim, who gasped for air and then rolled to his side, coughing.

Moving away from Jim, Spock turned to look at his father, and Uhura who was watching in shock, then approached McCoy and Anaya, still locked in their position, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Doctor," Spock said. "I am no longer fit for duty. I hereby relinquish my command, based on the fact that I have been emotionally compromised. Please note the time and date in the ship's log."

With no messing around, Spock left the Bridge, followed by his father. The whole room fell into silence, shocked, until Scott broke the quiet.

"I like this ship! You know, it's exciting."

"Well congratulations," Leonard said, exasperated. "Now we've got no Captain and no goddamn first officer to replace him."

Anaya pushed at Leonard's arms until he let her go. "Yeah," she said, turning to face him. "We do."

Jim moved to sit in the Captain's chair, spinning it to look at Leonard with a grin.

"What?" Leonard asked.

"Pike made him First Officer," Anaya said.

"You've got to be kidding me," Leonard muttered, shaking his head.

"Thanks for the support," Jim retorted, feigning hurt.

"I sure hope you know what you're doing, _Captain_ ," Uhura said as the Bridge started to break apart and everyone returned to their work stations.

"So do I," Jim replied quietly, before pushing the button on the arm of his chair.

"Attention crew of the Enterprise, this is James Kirk. Mister Spock has resigned commission and advanced me to Acting Captain. I know you were all expecting to regroup with fleet, but I'm ordering a pursuit course of the enemy ship to Earth. I want all departments at battle stations and ready in ten minutes. Either we're going down, or they are. Kirk out."

Anaya nodded and then walked out of the Bridge, intent on finding her quarters and a change of clothes. Leonard was quick to follow, pulling her aside, and frowning at her.

"What the Hell happened down there?" He asked harshly.

Anaya sighed, leaning back against the wall. "It's a long story."

"It always is," he agreed with a sighed, his face softening as he took in her bedraggled appearance. "You're soaking. Let's get you dried off." He started to put his arm around her, to steer her down the corridor, but she put her arm out, shaking her head.

"You said you had something to tell me, before the space jump. Tell me now," she said, her heart aching that he was so close, yet still so far away.

"Now?" Leonard asked incredulously. "Don't you think we're a little busy?"

"Leonard!" She snapped, eyes pleading with him. She just had to hear it from him, just once.

The Doctor sucked in a short breath and scowled at her, his eyebrows practically knitted together as he watched her. "You infuriate me," he said finally. "You know that? You, and Jim, the pair of you running off, all guns blazin' , maximum warp speed without any thought for the consequences…"

"That's not…"

"I'm not done!" He cut short her protests. "You're reckless, highly volatile and emotionally unstable. You give me high blood pressure just by being in the same room, and I'm sure I've sprouted more grey hairs than I can count since meeting you both. You push me to my limits, and then some, and I follow…"

"No you don't…"

"Let me finish! I do, Lee. Even if I'm not there in person, I follow you," he paused and tapped the side of his head, "in my mind. No matter how far away you are, I am always _right there with you_. And when you go runnin' off with Jim, it kills me because I don't know if it's gonna be the last time I see you, either of you! I know you think I'm too cautious, I like to plan, and overthink everything, and I'm not exactly exciting or adventurous, but…"

Anaya reached out and grabbed him, pressing her lips to his and silencing his words. With a moan, Leonard responded, his hands coming up to tangle in her already knotted, wet hair. When they broke apart, he sighed, leaning his forehead to hers.

"That's not fair," he said.

Stepping back, he narrowed his eyes at her. "Neither was taking off to Delta Vega after telling me you loved me."

Anaya smiled at him. "I make your heart race?"

"I said _high blood pressure,"_ Leonard corrected, but he knew he was losing this battle. "Dammit woman. From the first day I met you, I was gone, Anaya. I've loved you ever since."

"I know," she whispered.

"Then would ya stop giving me an aneurism every time I turn around?" He asked. She bit her lip, trying not to chuckle.

"I can't promise that," she said honestly.

Leonard sighed, running a hand through his hair before looking at her, his eyes full of loving care. "I hate this."

"I know you do," she whispered back to him. They both knew there was nothing either of them could do to fix that - short of retiring.

Leonard's commlink beeped on his wrist, and Jim's voice sounded as soon as he hit the receive button. " _I could use you both on the Bridge!"_

"About that aneurism," Anaya said softly. "I'm not changed yet, Jim," Anaya added into the commlink.

" _What?! Well, get back here and change later. I need you."_

"Duty calls…" Leonard said with a raised eyebrow. We'll be right there," he informed their friend.

" _Ha! I knew she'd be with you, see? I know you guys too well,"_ Jim replied. "

* * *

 _ **Enterprise Bridge**_

A few moments later they were standing back in the Bridge, Anaya grit her teeth to stop them from chattering, and smiled gratefully as Leonard moved to stand near her, though all she wanted was to have him put his arm around her.

Jim was in full discussions already.

"Whatever the case, we need to get aboard Nero's ship undetected," he said, much to the disagreement of his crew.

"And just go in there guns blazing, Jim. No…" Leonard bristled next to Anaya, who he knew would be inclined to go along with Jim when it came to rescuing Captain Pike.

"I'm telling you," Sulu joined in, "the math doesn't support…"

"Captain Kork! Captain Kork!" Chekov interrupted the discussions, hurrying to Jim's side where he stood with Leonard and Anaya.

"What is it Chekov?" Jim asked.

"Based on the fastest course from Wulcan, I have projected that Nero will travel past Saturn. Like you said, we need to stay inwisible to Nero or he'll destroy us. If Mister Scott can get us to warp factor four, and if we drop out of warp behind one of Saturn's moons, say, Titan, the magnetic distortion from the planet's rings will make us inwisible to Nero's sensors. From there, as long as the drill is not actiwated we can beam aboard the enemy ship," the officer informed them. Jim hesitated, looking at Scott who thought it over and then nodded.

"Aye, that might work," he confirmed.

"Wait a minute," Leonard said. "Kid, how old are you?"

"Seventeen, sir," Chekov replied. Leonard rolled his eyes, turning to look at Anaya.

"Oh, oh good, he's seventeen," he muttered. Anaya smiled indulgently, putting her hand on his arm and squeezing lightly.

"Doctor, Mister Chekov is correct. I can confirm his telemetry. If Mister Sulu is able to maneuver us into position, I can beam aboard Nero's ship, steal back the black hole device, and if possible, bring back Captain Pike." Spock's voice cut in, and both the doctor and Anaya looked up in surprise to find the Vulcan had rejoined them on the deck.

"I won't allow you to do that, Mister Spock," Jim replied, shaking his head. Clearly he was intent on being the self-sacrificial one in this mission.

"Romulans and Vulcans share a common ancestry. Our cultural similarities will make it easier for me to access the ship's computer to locate the device. Also, my mother was Human, which makes Earth the only home I have left," Spock argued logically.

"I'm coming with you," Jim replied.

"I would cite regulation, but I know you will simply ignore it," Spock said with a nod of his head.

"See, we are getting to know each other," Jim grinned at the man. He turned to look at Anaya, not quite dripping water everywhere anymore, but clearly not comfortable in the clothes clinging to her skin.

"You're coming with me," he said.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," she replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Good," Jim nodded.

"We will be at Saturn in fifteen minutes," Sulu informed them. Anaya nodded, exchanging a conflicted look with Leonard.

"Would you go and get changed already?" Jim pushed them both toward the lift, pushing the button to close the doors. "Get ready."

As soon as the doors closed, Leonard and Anaya grabbed at each other, pressing their bodies together in a desperate bid to connect.

"This is crazy," Leonard said into their kisses, moaning softly as she dragged her nails down his chest over the fabric covering an erect nipple. "Good god woman…"

As the door opened, they hurried to the Chief Medical Officer's quarters, tugging at each other's clothes as Anaya sucked and licked along his neck.

"You need to get changed…" Leonard warned.

"Gotta get undressed for that first," she quipped, pulling her pants off, hopping in one place for a moment as she struggled to get a foot out of the damp pants leg. As she broke free of it, she looked over at him.

"Do we have time for this?"

"Probably not," he replied practically, but it didn't stop him from pulling her to him, breathlessly looking into her eyes as he pushed them down on the bed. "But you're way overdue for your physical…"

* * *

 _ **Thirteen Minutes Later**_

" _Don't worry Bones. I'll bring her back in one piece."_ Jim's voice was echoing through the commlink as Leonard and Anaya scurried along the corridor in the direction of the transporter room, Leonard muttering under his breath as they moved. "He'd better," he told Anaya. "I'm holding you to that, ya hear me Jim?" He added into the commlink.

Anaya was desperately trying to figure out where she could find a clean, _dry_ uniform, having had to struggle back into the clothes she'd hastily discarded earlier. Leonard's uniforms were too big, and she needed to be able to move confidently with the upcoming mission. She reflected ruefully that she might be going in wet, and chuckled as she realised she'd had to fight in worse before.

" _Relax Bones,"_ Jim's voice replied. " _We got this."_

"Got this?" Leonard scoffed. "Oh good Lord, comin' from him that's hardly reassuring."

Anaya pulled them to a stop as they reached a corridor junction, kissing him again. "It's going to be okay," she promised, then straightened his tunic and brushed his messed up hair with her hands. "Come on."

As they rounded the corner into the transporter room Jim was standing with a neatly folded pile of clothes. He looked Anaya and Leonard over with a knowing smile as he offered her the uniform. "Thought you might need these."

Anaya took them from him silently, a slight smirk to her mouth before taking herself into a corner, and stripping out of her wet clothes in front of everyone. Jim grinned, shaking his head at her unabashed audacity before turning to look in the other direction, while everyone else followed suit.

"Didn't have time to change? What were you both doing?" Jim quipped, earning himself a glare from Leonard.

"Mind your own business," Anaya replied as she pulled on the dry clothing.

"Mind your own business, _Captain."_ Jim responded with a chuckle. He turned to look at the screen before him. "How are we, Scotty?" Anaya chuckled at the nickname, knew how likely it was to stick.

"Unbelievably, sir, the ship is in position," Scott announced from his position at the workstation.

Jim signaled the Bridge on a private line. "Whatever happens, Mister Sulu, if you think you have the tactical advantage, you fire on that ship, even if we're still onboard. That's an order."

"Yes, sir," came the reply.

Leonard stared Jim down with a glare. "Excuse me?"

Jim looked at his friend with a grimace. "It's like… Plan D."

Anaya moved in beside the two men, putting her arms around them both before leaning up to kiss Leonard. "We'll be fine, Mac.

Jim turned back to the private line. "Otherwise, we'll contact the Enterprise when we're ready to be beamed back."

"Good luck," Sulu confirmed.

"I still have lives," Anaya joked to the unamused doctor.

"Good point Kitten," Jim said, clapping Leonard on the shoulder. "See? We'll be fine!"

"I told you guys, _she is not a cat!"_ Leonard snapped in reply.

"Yeah, yeah, and I'm reckless," Jim quipped, stepping up onto the transporter. "I told you we're coming back."

His eyes drifted to Spock and Uhura, who had joined him on the pad, and were sharing their own little intimate moment. As the communications officer looked up into the Vulcan's face, she clearly struggled with her emotions.

"I will be back," Spock said softly, no emotion clouding his words.

"Them?" Leonard whispered to Anaya as Uhura nodded.

"Yep," Anaya confirmed. "Surprised?"

"You better be," Uhura said back to Spock as Leonard and Anaya moved to the transporter pad. "I'll be monitoring your frequency."

"Thank you, Nyota," Spock replied.

Jim struggled to keep his silence as Uhura kissed Spock quickly. Anaya smiled at Leonard whose lips had formed into a straight line. He nodded, reaching up to brush his fingers along her face.

"I'll see you soon," he mirrored what she had said earlier.

Anaya nodded, and he left the room, following behind Uhura as she left.

"So her first name's Nyota?" Jim finally burst out.

"I have no comment on the matter," Spock replied.

"Did you know?" Jim asked, looking at Anaya.

"Of course," she laughed.

"You know how much that drove Bones crazy when you did it to him?" He asked.

"I was just making sure he wouldn't forget it," she grinned at him.

"Okey-dokey then. If there's any common sense in the design of the enemy ship, I should be putting you somewhere in the cargo bay. There shouldn't be a soul in sight," Scott said, interrupting their conversation.

Jim nodded and then took a breath. "Energise."

* * *

 _ **Narada**_

The area they beamed into was anything but quiet. As the three crew members rematerialised on the deck of the Narada, they found themselves surrounded by Romulans. Instantly they sprung into action, shouting orders in their own language, as Jim, Anaya and Spock scrambled for cover.

Ducking behind some shipping containers, Jim looked at Spock who was crouched behind Anaya. "Go!" He ordered. "We'll cover you."

"Are you certain?" Spock asked dispassionately.

"Yes!" Anaya replied.

"Go!" Jim added.

Spock crept behind a pillar and disappeared. "Back him up," Anaya said to Jim who locked eyes. He opened his mouth to argue, but then nodded and fired a few more times at the remaining Romulans who had them pinned down.

"Follow when you can," he said, and then he was gone.

Anaya peaked over the container she was behind, fired three times and saw another Romulan fall over with a scream. A split second to react, she jerked her head backwards as an attack came from behind, a Romulan at least twice her size swung the weapon and missed her by mere inches.

Expelling her breath, she slid on to her back, pushed off the crate until she was able to flip her legs over her head, rolling backwards and landing on her feet. She grabbed a pipe nearby, swinging it as he lunged, and brought it down on his knee, before sweeping his feet out from under him. As the Romulan went down, she picked up her dropped pistol and fired.

Retreating from the room, she rounded a large capacitor and came across Jim, watching over Spock as he crouched over a Romulan, mind meld in place.

"Do you know where it is? The black hole device?" Jim asked, and Spock nodded.

"And Captain Pike," he answered. Anaya breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing the Captain was still alive.

Spock stood, looking at them both. "Come with me."

As they reached the weird, jellyfish looking ship, Spock hesitated. "I foresee a complication," he said as they walked into the interior. "The design of this ship is far more advanced than I've anticipated."

"Voice print and face recognition analysis enabled. Welcome back, Ambassador Spock," the ship's computer announced.

"Wow, that's weird," Jim said with a wide-eyed glance at Anaya.

"Computer, what is your manufacturing origin?" Spock asked, already running the logically conclusions as to why this ship recognised him.

"Stardate twenty-three eighty-seven. Commissioned by the Vulcan Science Academy," was the reply.

Spock turned to look at the pair. "It appears that you have been keeping important information from me."

Time was starting to press upon them. They had to move if they were going to get the Captain before Nero found them. Anaya checked her blaster. "We have to go."

"You'll be able to fly this thing, right?" Jim asked of Spock.

"Something tells me I already have," Spock replied with a slightly upturned mouth.

"Good luck," Anaya smiled.

"Jim, the statistical likelihood that our plan will succeed is less than four point three percent," Spock said, turning to their leader.

"It'll work," Jim reassured him.

"In the event that I do not return, please tell Lieutenant Uhura…"

"Spock," Jim cut in. "It'll work."

He turned and exited the ship with Anaya, leaving Spock to his mission. They moved silently through the ship in the direction that Spock had given them. Anaya's heart rate settled into the familiar adrenaline rush, tempered with the Vulcan techniques to stay calm during a mission. They rounded the corner and Jim stopped, checking his blaster.

"You know what to do?" He asked, looking at Anaya. She nodded, looking around for any interlopers.

"Get the Captain, wait for your signal, beam back to the _Enterprise,"_ she confirmed.

Jim nodded. "I'll be right behind you. But they know we're here now, we need to draw Nero's attention elsewhere to give Spock a chance."

"Be careful," she said.

"Careful is my middle name," Jim retorted with a grin.

"You wish it was!" She quipped before nodding and then moving down the opposite corridor to him. The ship was not intuitive in its design, clearly not Starfleet regulation. At least on most of the Federation ships one could guess where they were going as most of the ships had similar designs in their configurations. _The Narada_ was anything but similar.

Entering what should have been the medical bay, she found herself in what was instead some kind of engineering block. Long gangways lined a large empty space around the ship's reactor. Spock had definitely directed her in this direction, so she took a breath and looked around for any hostiles.

There was no body around. "Right," she muttered to herself. "Come on Lee, think."

Taking her first steps out onto the steel mesh walk way, she moved quickly and confidently toward the opposite side of the area. In front of her a door opened, and two Romulans entered into the gangway. She hesitated for a split second and then fired on the first crewman. He fell over the end of the railing with a scream and his companion reacted, shooting at her and hitting her arm.

"Ahhh!" Anaya cried out, dropping the gun. With a triumphant look, the Romulan put his gun down, and smashed his hands together, starting to walk toward the smaller woman. She crouched into a Vulcan Suus Mahna defensive position, and waited. As the Romulan, overconfident in his abilities, moved forward, she lunged, knocking him off balance. As he struggled to regain his footing, Anaya did the first thing that came to mind, grabbed his ankle and flipped him over the edge of the railing.

The Romulan fell with a scream, while above her, a door opened and two men stumbled out, fighting. She recognised Jim immediately, and ducked behind a column, taking in the space around her and weighing her options.

Jim threw a few punches at what looked to be Nero's second in command, who wasn't backing down in any way. Anaya acted, running to the nearby column and taking hold of the steel ladder that would allow her to reach the gangway above. Caught up in their fight, neither men saw her climbing. Breaking free of a hold, Jim looked to jump from the platform they were standing on to get some space, only to turn and have the Romulan grab him around the throat.

"Your species is even weaker than I expected…" Anaya heard the Romulan saying as she reached the platform and moved toward the pair. Jim's eyes flicked to the security officer as he looked over the Romulan's shoulder, and he grinned.

"I can't…."

"You can't even speak!" The Romulan snarled as Anaya reached the pair, sliding the man's phaser from his holster. Jim chuckled, which only irritated the Romulan further. "What?!"

"She got your gun…" Jim managed to spit out, looking at Anaya more deliberately this time. As their attacker turned, Anaya shot him, and Jim pushed him away so that the falling man didn't take him over the edge.

"You're meant to be rescuing the Captain," Jim spluttered.

"I am," she said. "One at a time."

Jim laughed and nodded, "fair enough. Let's go." He reached out to grasp her shoulder and Anaya e gasped as pain from her phaser burn rippled up her arm.

"You're hurt?" Jim asked, looking worriedly at her.

"I'll live. Let's go."

They found Captain Pike tied to a table in a room not far off Engineering. A small contingent of men had been left to guard him. Jim and Anaya made short work of them as klaxons blared all around, warning of an imminent proximity to danger.

Jim shot the final Romulan as they reached the table, and Anaya moved swiftly to the side of their Captain.

"What are you doing here?" Pike asked, as she released his restraints.

"Just following orders," she grinned at him, helping him sit up.

"Enterprise!" Jim linked into the Bridge, "we have him, go!"

Anaya knew that Spock would be listening for their order. She held her breath as around them, space seemed to shimmer and then they were all transported back to their ship.

" _Contact with the Narada confirmed. Well done Mr Spock,"_ Sulu's voice sounded over the intercoms as Jim looked around to confirm everyone was on the teleporter pad.

"Nice timing, Scotty," he said, slipping his arm around Captain Pike.

"Ha ha ha ha! I've never beamed four people from three targets onto one pad before," Scotty said with a triumphant smile.

Leonard came running into the room, breathed a sigh of relief when he saw them supporting Pike, with Spock standing beside them.

"Lee! Jim!"

"Bones!" Jim replied with a smile.

"I've got him," Leonard said, taking over from Jim and putting Pike's arm around his shoulders. Together, Leonard and Anaya brought the Captain to the Medical Bay while Jim and Spock returned to the bridge.

"Get him on here," Leonard gestured to an observation bed, and as Anaya helped the Captain to lie down, Leonard picked up a diagnostic tool and started to wave it over Pike.

"I'm fine, Doctor," Pike complained, receiving a stern look in reply.

"I'll be the judge of that."

Anaya moved to the console by the bed, patching through to the Bridge.

" _Captain,"_ Chekov's voice sounded. " _The enemy ship is losing power. Their shields are down, sir."_

" _Hail them now,"_ Jim ordered.

" _Aye."_

Pressing another button, Anaya patched into the viewscreen on the deck, entering her security code.

"What's going on?" Leonard asked, looking up at her.

"I don't know," she said quietly.

"Do you need to go?"

"No, he's got this," Anaya replied, looking back both Leonard and Pike.

" _This is Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise. Your ship is compromised. You're too close to the singularity to provide assistance, which we will provide."_ Jim's voice came over the transmission.

"Is he out of his cornfed mind?!" Leonard exclaimed.

"Diplomacy, Doctor," Pike said with a chuckle.

"He's trying to impress the Romulans by offering an olive branch," Anaya said, immediately impressed with Jim's tenacity. It was the perfect move.

"It's what I would do," Captain Pike said.

On the screen Nero's face twisted in an expression of hate and contempt. " _I would rather suffer the end of Romulus a thousand times. I would rather die in agony than accept assistance from you."_

"That's what she'd do," Leonard said to Pike, who laughed when Anaya glared at Leonard.

" _You got it. Arm phasers, fire everything we got."_ Jim replied.

" _Yes, sir,_ " Sulu confirmed.

The view on the screen changed to what they were seeing on the Bridge. The Narada, half engulfed by a black hole was fired on by the _Enterprise_ and then with an explosion, broke apart and was swallowed into the singularity.

" _Sulu,"_ Jim's voice announced. " _Let's go home."_

Anaya cut the connection to the Bridge, smiling back at her companions. "Told you he had it."

"Just another walk in the stars," Leonard said.

"Wasn't so bad, was it Sunshine?" She asked with a grin.

Leonard's expression was a mix of relief and displeasure as her face turned pale and she leaned heavily into him. For the first time, he noticed the burn marks on her jacket.

"Jesus, Anaya, you're hurt!"

"It's not that bad," she argued, but didn't resist as he pulled her to a seat.

"Let me see." Leonard started to remove her jacket.

A groan in the ship sounded, drawing their attention to their currently movement.

"Why aren't we at warp?" Leonard asked. Anaya ignored the pain in her arm and moved back to the screen, punched in her codes and pulled up schematics and readings from both Engineering and Navigation.

"We're too close to the singularity," Pike said.

Anaya switched her link to Scotty's frequency, hearing his voice rise over the sounds of the ship in distress. " _We're caught in the gravity well!"_

" _Go to maximum warp,"_ Jim ordered him. " _Push it!"_

" _I'm giving her all we've got, Captain!"_ Scotty replied.

Another groan sounded in the hull of the ship and Anaya muttered under her breath.

" _All she's got isn't good enough,"_ Jim echoed her own thoughts. " _What else you got?"_

A pause, and then Scotty's voice again. " _Okay. If we eject the core and detonate, the blast could be enough to push us away! I cannae promise anything, though!"_

" _Do it! Do it! Do it!"_ Jim shouted.

"Oh god…" Anaya said, hearing the panic in Jim's voice. She moved to stand next to Leonard, slipping her good arm around his waist. As they exchanged a worried look, it was clear, if they were going to die, at least it was going to be together.

Time seemed to stand still, and then a sudden explosion followed with a lurch of the ship. The ship groaned again, and then they were moving. Sulu confirmed that they were breaking free of the singularity, and a cheer went up from the Bridge.

"It seems your faith was well placed, Lieutenant," Pike said with a smile, looking at the couple standing beside him. "But who the hell is 'Scotty'?"

Anaya laughed, shaking her head. "Captain, I have got one hell of a story to tell you."

"I'm glad i'm here to hear it, Miss Lee, well done. All of you," Pike said.

* * *

 _ **Several Days Later**_

 _ **Starfleet Academy Hearing**_

Anaya and Leonard watched proudly as their friend was called up to the lectern. Around them, the entire Academy rallied in support of the youngest Captain that had ever served in the Federation.

"This assembly calls Captain James Tiberius Kirk. Your inspirational valor and supreme dedication to your comrades is in keeping with the highest traditions of service, and to reflect utmost credit to yourself, your crew, and the Federation, it is my honor to award you with this commendation. By Starfleet Order two-eight four five five, you are hereby directed to report to Admiral Pike, USS Enterprise, for duty as his relief," Admiral Barnett smiled at Jim who shook his hand, and nodded somberly.

With a stiffness to his stride, the battered Acting Captain walked to where Captain Pike was seated in a wheelchair. Wearing his full dress uniform, the Captain looked better than he had when they'd rescued him, but he was far from fully recovered.

"I relieve you, sir," Jim said awkwardly, saluting the Captain.

"I am relieved," Pike said with a smile, saluting back.

"Thank you, sir."

"Congratulations, Captain. Your father would be proud," Pike said. Anaya smiled as she overheard the exchange, nodding at Jim whose smile spread across his face.

* * *

 _ **That Evening  
The Wild Boar (Bar)**_

Anaya shivered a little in the cool evening air, but didn't regret her choice of clothing for a minute when Leonard's eyes lighted upon her. She was wearing a sheer halterneck top, with a short black skirt, and calf-length boots. He practically spat his drink all over Jim when she pushed her way through the crowd to them.

"Woahhhhh, Kitten! Loving the outfit!" Jim exclaimed with a nod of approval.

"Thanks," Anaya replied with a smile. "Better than our uniforms."

Leonard looked around at the men who were shifting their positions to move a little closer to the trio, and slipped his arm possessively around her waist, kissing the side of her neck.

"I know I said you needed to let that wound of yours breathe a little," he whispered into her ear. "This wasn't really what I had in mind."

"You don't like it?"

"Anaya, you could wear a hessian sack and I'd want you just as much, but this…." he let out an appreciative breath. "This outfit makes me think you need a second medical examination. I might have missed a few things with our last one…"

"Well, it was very hurried, the last one," she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, it was…"

"Do you have time for a more… thorough, examination, Doctor?" Anaya asked, her lips hovering next to his.

"Come to my office later, I'm sure I can fit you in," he replied with a grin.

"Okay, okay, break it up you two," Jim cut in as the rest of the crew arrived, pushing in to create a semi-circle around Jim at the bar. "Drinks!" Jim called out to the bartender. "For all these guys, my crew, my family, are on me."

Anaya and Leonard cheered with the others, the former smiling as she looked around at those assembled. Spock, Uhura, Scotty and his funny little alien friend Keenster. Sulu and Chekov had come out, with many a remark made about not serving the Russian anything alcoholic due to his age.

"Everyone," Jim said, handing out drinks and then holding his glass in the air. "Thank you, for your support. I couldn't have done it without any of you. Even you Bones," he added with a grin.

Leonard scowled and rolled his eyes. "I hate him," he whispered in Anaya's ear.

"We're ready to follow you on to the next mission, Captain," Scotty said as Anaya looked up at Leonard.

"No you don't," she grinned.

The group fell silent and Spock stepped into the space where Jim was standing. "Permission to speak, Captain," he requested.

"Permission granted," Jim said with a drink of his beer, and a wave of his hand.

"Given you are leaving in the next two days. And as you have yet to select a first officer, respectfully, I would like to submit my candidacy. Should you desire, I can provide character references."

Jim chuckled, and nodded at the Vulcan with a smile. "It would be my honor, Commander."

"Tomorrow, we front up for duty aboard the Federation's newest flagship," Jim announced, holding a shot glass in the air. "But tonight…. Tonight we live, and remember those who have fallen before us. We are young, let us remember it!"

"Mr Sulu!" Jim called out, jumping up on the bar and signalling to the DJ at the back of the bar. "Set course for the dance floor, and take us out!"

"Aye aye, Captain!" Sulu replied, raising his hand in the air. He turned around and for a small man, he did an admirable job of starting to carve a path to the back of the room.

"This might be going to his head," Anaya commented as Jim whooped and jumped down, following Scotty as they all moved to follow Sulu.

"Here we go again…" Leonard murmured in Anaya's ear.

"You gonna throw up on me?" She grinned back at him.

"I might ya know?" Leonard replied, "If I keep drinking what he's serving."

"Looks like we're both going to need that check up later," Anaya deduced and Leonard grinned, beginning to move against her, his hands sliding over her hips.

"We can start right now…."

Jim had jumped up to take the microphone from the DJ and signalled for the music to lower. As he did, he waved at his crew. "Space! The final frontier. We are the crew of the starship _Enterprise._ Her ongoing mission…"

He faltered, looking around the room. Uhura confidently walked up and took the microphone from him, turning to look at the room. "Her ongoing mission…. To explore strange new worlds."

The crowd around them cheered.

"To seek out new lifeforms and new civilisations…." she said a little louder, to more applause.

"Spock!" Jim encouraged the Vulcan who was standing nearby, nursing his drink and watching. At the mention of his name, he raised an eyebrow, and then surprisingly moved to stand next to Uhura, taking the microphone from her, finishing the motto:

"And to boldly go, where no one, has gone before."

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES**

* * *

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for patiently waiting for this update. It's been a long time coming, and I apologise for the delay. I hope I've managed to do this story justice, I know the ending is a little different to what was in the movie - but I think it shows the bonding that is to happen with the crew.

Please let me know what you thought of it, I love to get feedback and to know that you've enjoyed the story.

I'm hoping to write a few original pieces, perhaps base them off the some of the Original Series with a twist before jumping into the second movie. If you have any requests, please let me know!


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